My 64yo autistic brother lives with me. My other brother lives in another state in assisted living. Our mother left him money, but since he has Medicare/Medicaid the state wanted me to spenddown. I got an irrevocable annuity instead and every month send a check (going on more than 20 yrs.) to the home to comply with NYC MM guidelines. Should I include my brothers in my will in case I die first? I’m not sure my son wants this responsibility and checks must be sent & the brother with me cannot live alone. Any suggestions is appreciated.
More important than money is where your brother will live. Also as you referenced who will handle this responsibility for him as you noted your son may not want that responsibility and it will be a good idea to look into having a professional trustee oversee this process potentially to relieve your son of that burden.
Your brothers are lucky to have you.
These issues of leaving money to someone with autism requires a "special needs trust" and for someone in another state already in in-facility care there could be serious repercussions as to how they are paying for their care (Medicaid? Self pay).
Because these are complicated issues I think you need a Trust, not a will. And in some portions this would be a special needs Trust. If you are leaving a substantial amount of money then honestly it is a massive blessing to these two and well worth the 5,000 or so it will take to draw up a good solid trust.
Your son should not be saddled with the responsibility, but he CAN be the successor trustee if he is willing to serve. As such he could hire a Fiduciary to manage everything. He has the right to hire specific expert help and to pay himself out of the funds to serve as Trustee, so be certain that trust is well funded with just about everything you have. Sometimes people create a trust and then fail to move say their property into it. Then it isn't a part of that trust.
Get a good attorney. Some things are "you-get-what-you-pay-for".
What plans do you have for the one who lives with you? Is he on Social Security disability? If so, he has Medicare and Medicaid? I suggest u consider his future now. We have a group home in my State for those who suffer have Autism. May be good for you to find a place for him now, not leave that burden to ur son. If your brother has no "people" get him some.
My nephew was born with physical and neurological problems. TG he can live on his own but needs to be overseen. He receives SS and a government annuity from his deceased Moms pension. Also, has a Special needs trust. When my Mom passed, he needed to move out of her home because it was being sold. I called the County Disabilities Dept and they put me in touch with a State program. This program pays 70% of his rent, he pays the other 30%. He gets a coordinator and 5 hrs a week a CBS worker who takes him shopping, to the bank, runs errands, cleans and can help him bathe if need be. We had some problem with Medicaid and I found that the Coordinator can handle that. He can handle, and the CBS, more than I was aware of. So that means...I can back off alot. I still oversee his money because I am payee. I will still take him to certain appts when CBS is not available. But I no longer have to deal with Medicaid. Nephew wants to get foodstamps. I have seen that application. I have been helping him for 16 yrs. At 74 I am tired of dealing with the goverment agencies and their forms. Well now, my nephew has people. What happens to him when I pass? The State will take over his care. I will not burden my girls with that.