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Is your mother mentally competent? If so, then then there's nothing you can do. A POA can only step in during mental incompetence or any other condition set out in the POA. If she's not mentally competent, then step in and find out why they're stepping in. Is it possible this activity has been set up earlier and it's a fine thing? Can you explain?
Is your mother of sound mind? If she is, then she can do as she likes. If she isn't, then you need to be the person in charge of her medical appointments; and I assume the attorney visits are related to other people believing they would do the job better than you, yes?
When did your mother create these powers of attorney? Is there any reason you're aware of that she might have to change them?
In any case, the question is one of legal competence. If your mother is competent/has mental capacity/is of sound mind, then no you can't stop her.
She has not been proven incompetent in front of a judge but she has been diagnosed with dementia but these people want to be over her for the fact of the trust. Mom can play them well. But when it comes to us kids she gets angry
This is just a personal bugbear of mine, but on the other hand attitude is everything when it comes to elder care...
You hold power of attorney not OVER a person, but FOR them. POA gives you the authority to act on the person's behalf, in her best interests. Starting out with the mindset that your mother has given you power over her and you can use it to stop her doing anything you're not happy with... well, it's not a good start. Your job is to act for her and as far as possible carry out her established wishes.
If the trust and your mother's care are now getting caught up in some kind of family power play and it's going to get ugly, then maybe the thing to do would be to go back to the lawyer who drew up the original POAs and get advice.
Mountainmoose answer is there is a lot of people in her ear telling her what she needs to do. She changes her mind depending who she has talked to that day. She wants to be in control of all her financial matters and she want pay her bills because she feels they over charged her
Countymouse I don’t want to control my mother I just want these people to stop. I want her to go shopping out to eat enjoy herself. She needs that interaction with other people due to she lives alone
The other people are one cousin and a woman that has never been around my mother. Also a cousins exwife whom has not been around her for over 30 plus years
Connie, If your mother has dementia and lives alone, she may be needing a caregiver.
If you have medical POA, you need to be informed of her treatment and diagnosis.
There is a problem if they are going behind your back and not working with you. Maybe your mother has asked them to? Do they think you have neglected your mother, denied her medical care, or withheld funds from her?
She has an attorney. Has her attorney been consulted about this?
She had a appointed attorney at one time but once trust was setup and she had me appointed now these people are fighting this. I have not neglected her finically nor any other way. They have her believing that I am going to take everything away from her. That is incorrect I want her to stay in her own home. I have doctors orders where she is not to be driving and these people are letting her drive their vehicles
Like HolidayEnd, I'd let the police know that these people haven't been in her life until now and are doing things behind your back. Show them the POA papers.
I'd also consult with any elder law attorney. Your local Senior Center in your town should have a list of them and they work for much less than a regular attorney. Some of them are retired from private practice and are just trying to help out the elderly.
It sounds like these people are "gold diggers" and trying to change your mom's mind.
Is the trust irrevokable? Then she Can't change it. Who is beneficiary? The beneficiary will inherit if irrevocable. Find out what attorneys they are taking her to. Have a doctor write a letter explaining the diagnoses of Dementia. Send it certified registered to the lawyers. Copy of your POA too. Explain because of her diagnoses of Dementia that she can no longer make sound decisions and you r the only person who has legal right to hand her finances. If it is found that they have made any changes to POA, trust or will you mother has, they will be hearing from your lawyer. And if you find they do after this letter, than you have to follow thru getting another lawyer involved. I would send a similar letter to those trying to influence Mom.
If your mother lives alone and you are not on hand to monitor who is coming and going, how do you propose to ensure her safety and wellbeing? Complaining about the ignorant, reckless behaviour of people who do turn up and interact with her and lend her their cars and give her conflicting unsolicited advice when you aren't there is not going to do the trick.
The likelihood is that these people believe they are trying to help your mother. They are offering her company and trips out. They are trying to do as she wants. They are probably blissfully unaware of quite how unreliable her thought process is, or what the risks of the situation are.
But the reason they are doing these things is that you're not; and unfortunately you are currently responsible for your mother's welfare. Better roll your sleeves up and get to work on establishing her mental state.
And, by the way - you have checked that she hasn't been overcharged, have you?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
When did your mother create these powers of attorney? Is there any reason you're aware of that she might have to change them?
In any case, the question is one of legal competence. If your mother is competent/has mental capacity/is of sound mind, then no you can't stop her.
This is just a personal bugbear of mine, but on the other hand attitude is everything when it comes to elder care...
You hold power of attorney not OVER a person, but FOR them. POA gives you the authority to act on the person's behalf, in her best interests. Starting out with the mindset that your mother has given you power over her and you can use it to stop her doing anything you're not happy with... well, it's not a good start. Your job is to act for her and as far as possible carry out her established wishes.
If the trust and your mother's care are now getting caught up in some kind of family power play and it's going to get ugly, then maybe the thing to do would be to go back to the lawyer who drew up the original POAs and get advice.
Who are the other people? What's it all about?
I don’t want to control my mother I just want these people to stop. I want her to go shopping out to eat enjoy herself. She needs that interaction with other people due to she lives alone
If your mother has dementia and lives alone, she may be needing a caregiver.
If you have medical POA, you need to be informed of her treatment and diagnosis.
There is a problem if they are going behind your back and not working with you.
Maybe your mother has asked them to? Do they think you have neglected your mother, denied her medical care, or withheld funds from her?
She has an attorney. Has her attorney been consulted about this?
I'd also consult with any elder law attorney. Your local Senior Center in your town should have a list of them and they work for much less than a regular attorney. Some of them are retired from private practice and are just trying to help out the elderly.
It sounds like these people are "gold diggers" and trying to change your mom's mind.
The likelihood is that these people believe they are trying to help your mother. They are offering her company and trips out. They are trying to do as she wants. They are probably blissfully unaware of quite how unreliable her thought process is, or what the risks of the situation are.
But the reason they are doing these things is that you're not; and unfortunately you are currently responsible for your mother's welfare. Better roll your sleeves up and get to work on establishing her mental state.
And, by the way - you have checked that she hasn't been overcharged, have you?