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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Once or twice a week is plenty to visit your DH in Memory Care. Although it's absurd to say it doesn't make a difference to him whether you visit him or not & that he 'won't register the difference'! If the man is alive and breathing, then he has a soul and a heart. And, as such, WILL register that you are holding his hand and close to him, visiting with him and showing him loving affection. Even a person in a coma registers when someone is speaking to them! I visited my mother 2x a week during her last 6 months of life in Memory Care, with advanced dementia, and you bet she was happy I did! I was able to sit with her and let her know I loved her, and vice versa, and she WAS still in there, in spite of her dementia & difficult personality.
We visit our loved ones in MC as much for OURSELVES as for them, too, because we love them and don't want to lose the connection we have together. Don't feel guilty if you can't visit more often, however, and do what you can when you can. Consider your OWN needs as well as his, as there are TWO people affected by dementia in this situation, not just DH. Your life is impacted as well as his. You know that he is well cared for where he's at, and safe, so that's what matters. As far as him wanting to come home with you, that's the hard part to deal with, for us, I know. Just let him know that 'when the doctor says it's okay to come home', that's when you'll talk to him about it again. Put it all on the doctor and leave it at that.
Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation. Know that it's okay to live YOUR life too as your DH acclimates himself to the Memory Care ALF. Sending you a hug & a prayer for peace.
How often is often? You have your plate full...have you asked for outside help: local churches, High school clubs, Boy Scouts, 4H Club, Nextdoor.com appeal. Also contact your local area's Agency on Aging to see if they can point you towards any resources.
If your husband suffers from dementia, your visits don't make him any better. His brain is disconnected from the outside world and whether you visit him frequently or not, he won't register the difference. I suggest you make your personal schedule with minimum visits to your husband, He won't be affected one way or another. He were a lucid person with a normal brain it will matter, but he's not.
Allowing your DH to become acclimated to his new home is probably the greatest gift you can give him.
I'm hoping that there are activities and such that he will participate in if he doesn't have a constant stream of visitors. We were shocked to show up at Mom's NH to find her playing cards, having Mocktails and having her nails done, not things she would normally do, but because we weren't around, she said "what the heck" and joined in.
I’m thinking of reducing visits to 1-2 times per week for my own mental health. He tries to leave with me and the other day grabbed my arm forcefully and wouldn’t let go. Talks in a circular manner only about going home and when I’m picking him up. Thank you for the resources! I will check them out!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
We visit our loved ones in MC as much for OURSELVES as for them, too, because we love them and don't want to lose the connection we have together. Don't feel guilty if you can't visit more often, however, and do what you can when you can. Consider your OWN needs as well as his, as there are TWO people affected by dementia in this situation, not just DH. Your life is impacted as well as his. You know that he is well cared for where he's at, and safe, so that's what matters. As far as him wanting to come home with you, that's the hard part to deal with, for us, I know. Just let him know that 'when the doctor says it's okay to come home', that's when you'll talk to him about it again. Put it all on the doctor and leave it at that.
Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation. Know that it's okay to live YOUR life too as your DH acclimates himself to the Memory Care ALF. Sending you a hug & a prayer for peace.
Allowing your DH to become acclimated to his new home is probably the greatest gift you can give him.
I'm hoping that there are activities and such that he will participate in if he doesn't have a constant stream of visitors. We were shocked to show up at Mom's NH to find her playing cards, having Mocktails and having her nails done, not things she would normally do, but because we weren't around, she said "what the heck" and joined in.
No guilt. You have to do what you have to do.