Is it normal for elderly to use 7 rolls of toilet paper in 1 week?
I moved my 81 year old mom with us after my dad passed away almost 2 years ago. My mom repeats same stories 10 times in one car ride to the doctor's and back. Also repeats same stories at home. Hearing it so many times a day, I can probably repeat it word for word. :D Among other things I noticed. She can't remember simple things like when she just talked to her sibling but can remember from back in the days. I researched and then asked my doctor about. She has signs of dementia. Then, I've noticed recently in the past 2-3 weeks on why we keep replacing toilet paper. When I do take out the trash, I noticed there were 6-7 empty toilet rolls in the trash can. She uses that many in 1 week. That's a lot! I replaced a whole roll yesterday and just replaced it again today. I asked her, she denies it, gets upset and blames my teenage kids where they mostly use their bathroom upstairs. Then she talks to herself saying I'm stupid, frugal and counting how many toilet paper rolls she uses. When clearly I see it in the trash can when I take out the trash. I get she drinks a lot of water and goes like every 10 mins, but that shouldn't have to use 7 rolls in a week. :O We have 3 kids and before she moved here, we don't use 7 rolls in a week. She barely eats, throws away some food we give her because she's picky. She eats once a day and hoards drinks and snacks in her drawers. So it's not like she poops it out because there's nothing in her stomach to let out! Is this normal with the toilet paper? I saw 2 almost empty rolls of toilet paper in her drawer. Don't know why she has that because she has a box of tissues. She wasn't like this when we first brought her here. It's like her decline is rapidly coming with weird behaviors.
She’s also putting food etc in her drawers, also common .
Regarding the bigger picture, your mother is showing many symptoms of dementia. Even if you are not quite ready for it, start investigating the availability and affordability of other types of care. When and if a sudden crisis happens, it’s very useful to have some idea of the options available to you. You are already coping a lot longer than many carers!
I stopped putting full toilet rolls in there. I replaced a roll on Sunday and replaced it again yesterday (Monday). I just stopped putting extra rolls under the sink now. I just check daily to see how much left and replace it myself. Hopefully, this will reduce the toilet paper usage on whatever she's doing in the bathroom.
We can't afford facility so we're trying our best to accommodate and help her. I'm trying my best to be a good daughter, but she ends up telling her siblings something is wrong with me, I'm stupid and being difficult, etc... Complaining that I'm counting how much toilet paper rolls she uses. I take out the trash each week for trash day and I see 6-7 empty rolls in the garbage, so no I am not counting. This has been a recent issue which started about 2-3 weeks ago. I'm just emotional and physically tired because I do all this by myself with no help. I've been a stay at home mom for almost 20 years. I now have a job interview this week to financially help. My husband took on a 2nd job part time. We were fine financially before she came to live with us. Her 8 siblings bailed out in helping with her dental when we moved her away from my brother's care in AZ. Her siblings lied to me and said they did not tell me they would help which in fact they did. They lied to get her moving here with us, which is the best option. Because of my mom, we are in debt. We were doing well until my mom came. I love my mom and of course I still want her to be here because she's the only grandparent alive, but I'm emotionally and physically tired. :( I do everything on my own, a family with 3 kids, 2 dogs and a cat I care for by myself. We don't like to burden people with our problems and we don't have any close friends when we moved to the midwest years ago. I'm just drained from all and wish I could just run away for a day.
I use to go to the doctor once a year and now it's like I live at the doctor's office. With her non existing issues she has, I'm at the doctor's even more now. We had to do ultrasound, endoscopy for issues she won't take care of, her dental. Gastroentologist said nothing wrong with her, healthy, no cancer. She has 90% decayed teeth which is the cause of her stomach discomfort. She's not chewing, but swallowing. So the little chunks gets stuck which is why the pain and discomfort. Doctor said only way to take away the pain and discomfort is by taking care of her teeth or live with the discomfort and pain. Nothing else doctor's can do at this point. Tests have been done and they find nothing wrong with her, She refuses to extra the upper decayed teeth to put in dentures cause she says it's uncomfortable. She only gave her partial lower dentures an hour try, didn't like it and never touched it again. So over $5k has gone down the toilet.
Anyways, sorry for this novel. Thanks for listening.
She may have a UTI or other condition that causes frequent urination. Report her habits to her doctor so she can be checked out.
This won't get better, but it could get much worse sooner rather than later. Start thinking about alternate plans for her. Toileting difficulties are hard to deal with and call for professional care, so check out some facilities.
She is mostly healthy for a person of her age. It seems like her decline, memory (mostly) is getting worse by the day. She makes up stories that she thinks it's true, she thinks she has issues with her health even when I just took her to the doctor.
She complained about bump from her stomach to throat, week later complained of stomach pain, food won't go down when she swallows, says she's been throwing up past 2 weeks. I'm home all day and I don't hear, see or smell any vomit anywhere as my mom says it was all over her clothes. Let's just say past 2 months I took her to the doctor's a dozen times. Long story short, doctor did ultrasound (keep her satisfied) where the only thing they found was a gallstone 1.3 inches. It doesn't bother her so we left that alone. Took her to the Gastroentrologist and did endoscopy. Found nothing, she's healthy and no cancer. I have not mentioned to the Gastroentologist about her dental issues. He just told us she needs to take care of her teeth. It's because she doesn't chew properly, where she just swallows, chunks of food gets stuck and that's where the discomfort and pain she's feeling. There's nothing else anyone can do but to take care of her teeth or live with the discomfort and pain if she doesn't. She also goes to the Cardiologist to monitor her heart, she has a pacemaker.
Her dental problem is another issue. Before she came to live with us, she lived with tooth pain. When she came here, it took me almost a full day to call over 20 dentists who will take her medicare. When I found one, she said her teeth was mostly all decayed. Took her to oral surgeon to extract the tooth that was bothering her, that to put in the partial dentures. She only wore it for 1 hour and didn't like it and never touched it again. She needed to extract the upper teeth that was all decayed. She has the full dentures, just need oral surgeon to extract the teeth to put it in but she refuses to take care of that. She prefers to let her teeth naturally fall out and worry about it when the time comes. :/ Basically over $5k has gone down the toilet. Her 8 siblings said they would help financially with her dental care but backed out when she moved in with us and said they never said they would. They lied to me just to get her out of my brother's care. He's been stealing all her money each month, not paying rent for over a year and has no money or car to feed her or my dad. We've been having groceries delivered to their house last couple months she was there, but my brother was mostly eating all the food we sent her. My brother is another headache of a story. Anyways, all said, she does bloodwork all the time so nothing is wrong with my mom except her thinking there is. She even asked my husband if he can make appointment with the doctor to have surgery to remove the lump to relieve her pain.
I love my mom, but I'm emotionally and physically tired. All this, I'm doing by myself. None of her siblings will help because of my brother issue. I don't need or want their help, but I'm tired. I have a family to take care of too.
Is Mom folding up wads of toilet paper to use as pads? For urine accidents.
Try buying some disposable underwear, pullups style. Many are nice coloured, look & feel like regular underwear.
"Look Mom, these were on special. Someone at work recommended them as being very comfy. I'll put some in your drawer to try."
You can add a casual line .. "and they are quite good for those annoying times us ladies have a little leak here & there."
You never know?
I had an honest conversation with an Aunt about coughs, aging & leaks. She was very thankful & relieved such sensible products were available. She had been trying menstrual pads but found the sticky backings fiddly. A fast pullup convert!
Of course it is NOT normal to use a roll of TP per day. And your plumbing will soon complain of it.
I would say that you are almost certainly now dealing with dementia. It is important you know what type and to get all the information and education you are able. As you have a home with children and with stairs it is important to know as well as you are able where you are at with this.
I would stop sweating the small stuff such as eating, and when and where and what it is, because there will soon be so many more crucial issues such as the possibility of short term memory loss causing wandering, sleep disorder problems and falls on the stairs.
It is time for the family to start a diary, to get together, to get to MD for neuro-psyc eval, to figure out how long you wish to do long term care and when and whether placement may be needed. So sorry, but from what you tell us I think you already knew all I said.
Her brain is now broken and she no longer is aware of how many times she tells the same story or how many rolls of toilet paper she uses.
Have you tried limiting her access to the toilet paper? That may help.
But really what will help most is you and your family now accepting the fact that your mom has dementia and that she will never get better only worse.
Educating yourself about this horrible disease is of utmost importance as knowledge is power.
Teepa Snow( a dementia expert)has many great videos on YouTube along with many books as well that will help you get started on this education journey.
I wish you well and I'm sorry that you are now one of the many millions of folks all over the world dealing with this horrific disease.
I suggest you sit down with a Certified Elder Care attorney to discuss Medicaid for mom for long term care now. Once she's on Medicaid, you can get her teeth taken care of, or do that now if she can private pay.
Pick up a copy of the book Understanding the Dementia Experience by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller on Amazon so you can learn about dementia and how it presents itself.
For the sake of brevity, here's 5 things never to say to a person with dementia:
1) Don't tell them they are wrong about something
2) Don't argue with them
3) Don't ask if they remember something
4) Don't remind them that their spouse, parent or other loved one is dead
5) Don't bring up topics that may upset them
Ignore the toilet paper matter because it upsets mom. In time, they become very obstinate and argumentative so you must learn to let everything roll off you. Which makes managed care the best option, imo, for elders with dementia. It allows us to be daughters again instead of aggravated and burned out caregivers.
Best of luck to you.
At first it bugged me, now it is just what it is. And I have some pretty good strong arms from carrying gallons of water a week .
I just figured she doesn't have much in here life . When I was on vacation, my oldest brother texted me and said , how much water can one little old lady go through. I was like 😆 welcome to my world ,
Older people do some odd stuff , when dementia is involved. I would be concerned about the septic system though.
Others are right she could be using it instead of pads.
Best of luck
You can afford to place Mom. Find a nice Long-term care fagility that takes Medicaid. Then apply for it.
My Friend, C. says that it is a constant problem in her place, where they use good quality tissue, keeping it in stock and that it is amazing how quickly it gets used up. Reason is something she explored. She's very down to earth, jokey, funny sort of gal who would approach ANY question with her charges. And so she DID. Turns out that many suffer stress incontinence. And they hate spending their hard won savings on incontinent wear that they will throw into the already full landfills. So many of them tear off a good stretch of tissue, fold it in any number of creative ways, and use it for stress dribbles.
I do have to wonder if your Mom could be doing this, and wonder if she is comfortable discussing the issue with you, or if she will just remain "innocent" of the entire issue.
Best to you.
from the sleeves and sometimes the waistband of pants , tops of socks , and bras .
I'm not sure why the fascination with toilet paper. It makes me wonder what dementia patients do instead in countries where they don't have it.
Or they store leaves everywhere . Just look for the bare trees . That’s where the elderly in the village are.
TOday he called me and said he's almost out, down to his last roll and was nervous being down to 1 roll. He was wondering if I could buy a pack and drop it off. Maybe in part it was in order to get an extra visit from me? I don't have time for that today, so ordered a 9 pack from Walgreens and had door dash deliver it to him within a couple hours of him calling me. That seemed to be the most reasonable thing to do.....
Thats good ,
use delivery as much as possible . You can also drop things off at the front desk and they will have someone bring the items to your Dad’s room .
Or if he gets wise to that and sits by the front door trying to catch you ( my Mom did that so she could yell at me ) then call the front desk and they will send someone out to your car to take items from you .
It takes away Dad’s opportunity to lure you into the lion’s den .
1) Don’t answer phone , let him leave a message .
2) Do not call him back
3) Have item delivered or you drop off without seeing him
Dad got item.
Dad did not get to see or speak to you at all = you got peace .