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Hello, I am about to move my 83 y/o mother, with moderate/severe dementia, from her home into a MC facility. I have DPOA (financial and health). I have been managing all of her affairs, with her funds (bill payments, medication management, doctors' appointments, in-home caregivers, etc.) for over 3 years now. All her mail is sent to my home address. All financial institutions have accepted my POA document. Can anyone please provide a checklist of things to take care of before the move?


Is there anyone who moved a LO to a community, and realized after the move there was something that should have been taken care of, but was not?


Thank you very much.

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You seem to be managing everything just great, and there is little to do when this is the case. I was already operating as my brother's POA/Trustee when he entered an ALF. There was of course some confusion with his change of address, with mail, with all entities getting wound up. He had a small personal account that required his ALF address and wanted to get personal mail there. This confused the bank which was handling accounts I managed. He also wanted a voters card, so license and ID address changed, adding to the confusion. I will say most of that was minor and Spectrum phone company was the REAL beast. HOURS on the phone with them.

So you will have work, but comparatively little compared to what you have already got used to.

I will say this about entering the ALF. Go over the contract WITH your loved one AND the admins of the facility very carefully. Our own contract had so much information that was needed, what rental raises to be expected, what the levels of care were, what would constitute a reason for asking a resident to leave, what happens when "the money runs out", and what transit to expect to appointments, to shopping centers, and etc. A huge wealth of info to go over.
You will want to know also what reasons they would send your loved one to ER for falls (they WILL happen), who gets notified and how quickly (YOU), the care plan. Who will give medications. How the medication system works. How medical care is rendered. What medical personnel is on call, and etc. Ask admins what number to call for general problems, and what hours best to contact them.

I can't think of anything else and hope others have some ideas for you to consider.
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againx100 Dec 14, 2023
The only thing I question here amongst your excellent response is going over the the contract with her mom with dementia. This seems like an impossible task and I would NEVER have involved my mom in this when moving her to AL and her dementia was fairly mild at that point.
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At my mother's MC, they have a contract with a doctor's practice.

I gladly signed up my mother for their services.

Taking her to outside docs would have been crazy-making. There was a round of scabies that needed care, and I shudder to think of what would have happened if I had to take her out to manage that. The MC just called their doc, and the Rx was ordered.

A NP from that practice also comes once a month to monitor Mom.
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Be sure to make very clear (in writing and in person) what your mom's needs are. (Vision issues? Hearing? Uses hearing aids? Needs help with cutting food? Can't see to read something/participate in certain activities? Likes two blankets on the bed?)

I foolishly assumed the presence of a walker in my mother's room would indicate that she used a walker, but because I brought her into the building in a transport chair, they assumed she was wheelchair-bound. They put her walker out of the way on the other side of the room from her bed, and she got up to go to the bathroom, couldn't find the walker, fell, hit her head, and received 28 stitches. (After that very rocky start, her MC stay was fantastic for the next 18 months, however.)

Also, write out a short biography of your mom and post it in her room and ask that the caregivers read it. It gives them some context of who she was before she had dementia, and it makes it so much easier for the caregiver to converse with them about relevant topics like children and grandchildren (using their names), what their interests were, places they'd lived, etc. I even put my mom's old college yell on her biography, because she loved to say it, as it was a bunch of nonsensical words. They caregivers loved to ask her to say it, and it was probably the last thing she remembered -- long after she'd forgotten me!

Finally, if she wears hearing aids, find out what their policy is on keeping track of them. At Mom's place, they were collected every night and inventoried. One night the caregiver collected them but had forgotten to grab the case, so she wrapped them in a napkin and put them in her pocket.

You guessed it -- she threw out the napkin. Fortunately, she and the nursing home took full responsibility, and they paid for new ones.

The other stuff you have set up exactly as I did and it all worked fine. I never used the nursing home as her permanent address as we didn't sell her house until after she died.

One other thing -- the first (terrible) home I had her in allowed someone to re-register her to vote. That changed her city of residence, but the ballot came to her house and that's how I found out and shut it down.

With an election coming up, keep on top of her voter registration. She has every right to vote (even with dementia), but you should be supervising that, not the nursing home staff.
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Coordinate with MC the timing of the move and the fib (usually necessary) to get her into the facility. Also check with MC to find out how long to wait after arrival to schedule a return visit.

Not before but right after admitting her, start the Medicaid process if necessary. Also contact Medicare and any insurance companies of her new physical location. Don't forget social security too.

Make sure her room is set up with all personal items required by the MC. Some items are: shampoo, TP, clothes hamper, favorite bed linens, incontinence supplies, etc.

MC's each have their own unique items and requirements for living with the facility. Constant communication with the MC is invaluable for moving your mother in.
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Naimka Dec 17, 2023
Thank you.
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Minimize expensive jewelry, try to take the wedding rings out by explaining that they need to get a jewelry repair.
My mom had a lot of clothes but over 5 years some needed to get thrown out or they ended with someone else. Bring only a weeks worth of clothes but store the rest for replacements.
Bring old photo albums with her and hang a few photos on the wall. Pull glass out of the frames. Try not to bring photos of new babies as they will not be remembered.
One thing that is required in many states is a TB test. Make sure it is scheduled. It will need a reading 2 days later and documented by a nurse or pharmacist. Ask the facility about this document. They may have the form for you. Also ask the facility if all meds need to be in blister packs because her doctor will have to write this script.
If she needs disposable underware, some facilities add it to the monthly bill. However it might cost less if you regularly bring in her personal care items.
Does the facility have its own doctor? Make sure her insurance covers this doctor. If not, there is still time to change Medicare plans beyond the enrollment date since she is moving. I think you have till March. That is unless you plan on bringing her to her current doctor.
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Naimka Dec 17, 2023
Thank you.
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Make sure you have a clear care plan with the facility. Understand completely what you can expect from them and the staff. Understand the frequency of care meetings and how you communicate with them if it is necessary to adjust the care plan. Best of luck!
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