My father is almost 82 and in poor health. He was recently admitted to the hospital for the 3rd time after falling and suffering cognitive impairment (diagnosis right now is cerebral atrophy, mini strokes, etc.). He hasn't been "right" for a while.
About 6 months ago, he moved in with his on-and-off-again girlfriend of many years. He had a trust written out 10 years ago that divided his estate (which is 5 million+) among his three kids and a previous girlfriend. When he moved in with the new women, the trust documents were moved to a new attorney and amended to replace the previous girlfriend with the current (so she gets 25%). It was unclear why my father used a different attorney than he normally did.
Two weeks ago, the girlfriend made a surprise announcement that she was marrying my father. This seemed odd, as he proclaimed for decades he would never marry again.
When my father went to the hospital a few days ago, my sister had to use medical POA and financial POA to get things under control. When we spoke to the trust attorney, he told us there were limits to what he could "say" because he was also the attorney for the girlfriend. This came as a surprise.
Is there a conflict of interest here? A problem? A conspiracy?
That lawyer cannot ethically be your father's lawyer or his girlfriend's lawyer. Yes there is a big conflict of interest. I would step in and not let dad marry this woman if I was you.
I would find a elder attorney, or speak to dad's old lawyer.
You sister needs to find out what she can and can not do with the POA'S. You both need to sit down and read them very carefully. If your sister has the rights to see over his finances than I would act accordingly to stop the girlfriend.
Here are a few tricks that you and your sister can do outside the law.
"Tell the girlfriend that you are so happy that dad found someone to love him. Therefore, I am sure you won't mind signing a prenup." Tell her this smiling as if you are happy about the whole thing, just don't over do it. Listen to what she says very carefully. Listen to her tone, is it high and nervous or low with fear in it. (People give them self away! What they are up to if is bad or good.) Look at her body movement. Does she look relax? Or stiff? Stiff means uncomfortable, fear, worry, afraid! You get my point. From the time you tell the GF you have less than two minutes to gather the above information. If info points to high tone, GF looks nervous, uncomfortable than she is up to no good.
If that is the case, treat GF as if nothing is wrong.
Don't let her know what you and your sister are doing. Don't let this lawyer know either. This may seem crazy but act like you have no clue about the law or what she (girlfriend) is trying to do. You probably won't have a lot of time, so make the most out what time you do have. I hope I am not scaring you. Be strong!
Start getting your ducks in a row:
I would turn this lawyer in at the Bar Association. (I think that is what it called.) Before, you turn in the lawyer, I would make Google my new friend. There are tons of legal information out there.
I do believe that the lawyer is breaking the law.
I am sure others on this forum can help you out more.
Good Luck
Let me know how it turns out if you feel comfortable with it.
May God give you strength.
Father went into a rehab/nursing facility today. It was just awful.
The girlfriend has been around for a long time, but she was never the *primary* girlfriend --just a side woman he kept around. The primary threw him out 6 months ago, so he moved in with this woman.
After my sister invoked PoA over his health and finances, we found out that he couldn't manage his checkbook (the ledger didn't match up to the checks written), and there were lot of checks written out to cash, including ones for $4000+. Whether or not he filled those out, or his girlfriend did, is hard to determine. She told me a few days ago "his handwriting is so bad now, I write out the checks, and he just signs them the best he can".
Now that my sister has PoA, there isn't anything this woman can do, but she is entitled to 25% of my father's estate as stipulated in the trust, so we can't get rid of her. It is a real mess.
If he can't talk to one client (POA) because of confidentiality issues of another client it is a conflict of interest.
As the POA you are essentially your dad as far as the legality of things.
I pray you can get the new trust changed and protect him from these obviously conniving people.
The trust may have to stand, but by no means are you stuck with her. If she is trying to rob your dad, POA can deny her access. She is not family so has no rights.
I pray you are able to prove the ammendment is bogus and her and attorney face jail time.
Of course my father is furious, and has disowned me. That night has was wandering the halls of the facility naked, so he clearly needs to be there.
Heaven forbid he were ever declared competent again--he would be robbed and dead within a week.
But when it comes to the mess he's made of his affairs, no pun intended - assuming it's not going to create actual hardship for anyone, might it be easier on your peace of mind just to accept it as part of his life's colourful tapestry? Of course one can't approve of a mentally frail person's being manipulated but you can sort of see why the girlfriend (are there any more to worry about?) might feel she's owed.
Perhaps, too, your sister could use the previous attorney as a source of historical information and advice.
I do hope everything will reach calmer waters for you.
Did your Father legally disown you? Or did He just say that because He is angry at you for admitting Him into a nursing home? If your Father legally disowned you AFTER the "doctors have signed off on incompetence letters", then you can challenge the changes that your Father made to his will and be "re-owned" again.