Dad has moderate dementia. Over the past several years, he's had 'senior moments', but it wasn't until last summer that things became noticeably bad. He's 81 and it's almost like someone flipped a switch; it came on so fast.
Based on the quick onset, is there any sort of timetable with regard to when he will lose function? He's now at the stage where he is fine for the most part, takes a nap and wakes completely lost, not understanding where he is, why he isn't at work, etc. It's happening more and more. He's also waking me in the middle of the night (last two nights) in a panic because he thinks he's late for work. Yesterday, I left him (explained thoroughly, left with cell phone, note of where I was) and he called me completely freaked out about where he was. This doesn't usually happen during the day.
I know everyone is different, but I'm just trying to find out how long it will take before he doesn't recognize me, becomes completely incontinent or starts losing his ability to eat and speak.
I'm totally on my own; no family, friends or caregivers. I'm not even sure I can get him into a nursing home because he's in that 'sour' spot of making too much to qualify for Medicaid but not enough that we can afford a home. So any guesstimates as to how long this may take would be appreciated.
I'm an only child, so I hear what you're saying. Contact your state Office on Aging regarding the Medicaid. My mom was in the same spot, and finally qualified for a partial waiver from Medicaid. Also, if your dad is a veteran, he could qualify for aid and attendance from the VA. Getting help from either agency was a lengthy process--between 6 months and a year. A lot of times I thought I'd never get through either, as both take a lot of talking, forms, and patience, but it can be done.
My mom has been in an assisted living for over 5 years now, and doing fairly well for 94. Best of luck to you.
I will get some of those test strips. That we can manage. Thanks for the idea.
I'm NOT an only child, but my sibling is not interested in helping.
Dad was not in the military unfortunately. There are a lot of resources here for veterans.
I am going to try to push myself to get more into the organizations, hotlines, websites and forms. I'm dreading it (I'm on the computer 8 hours a day for work), but it has to be done. Sounds like I will need to get started is it takes that long.
Thanks so much for your time.
sorry to say it is all case by case day by day.
i hope you are in an active support group so you can hear what others are living with and through
I have just attended two different support groups in my area and there are a few more a bit further away. The trick is timing. I never know if he is going to have a good or bad day and I've got no one to watch him. That's another reason why I was hoping to get some sort of a timetable. It won't be long before I won't be able to leave the house.
I have started to check into various groups and offices, but it's all so confusing. It's nice to know I have people here and elsewhere that I can ask for help. Thanks for yours.
My dad is at the stage where he is terrified because he knows he is losing him mind. Just happened this week.
I just wish I had some idea of how long we have together.
Thanks for your response.
Also, get him tested for a UTI, light switch behavior is an indication that something is going on and a UTI in seniors is a freaky thing to behold, not your typical burning sensation at all. More like overnight decline or sudden onset of dementia type symptoms. You don't want him to go septic with it either and that is pretty common as well.
I haven't read other responses but I hope I am not being redundant, but then again probably will be, we all experience the similar things. Hugs for all you do.
I am sorry that your dad understands what is happening, it has to be so terrifying to know.
Can I suggest that you include him and start looking at facilities now, let him decide if he wants to stay around the Colorado river or if he wants to go to Vegas. My granny was in a facility in Vegas on Medicaid and she got the best care. I can probably find the name for you.
I would find the facility before you need it, that will make it easier for both of you.
Hugs!
I wanted a time line also when my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Doc said could be 4-5 years (she was 90). She just passed away last week at 96.
It’s a guess. They may progress rapidly to one stage, then stay in another stage for what seems like forever.
Good suggestions about a UTI or change in meds. Seniors are super susceptible to minor changes. A doctors visit might not be a bad idea. If doc thinks he needs testing to determine his cognitive ability, he can order it then. Give his office a “heads up” about his recent mental decline before you go in.
Forget trying to to put this on a “time line”. It won’t hold up. Try to be flexible. If this IS a form of dementia, you will NEED to have resources at hand. Don’t be like me and put your head in the sand, then have to come up with “something” on a minutes notice. I had no one to help me either. As the disease progresses having your ducks in a row really helps. A hospital social worker or the Area on Aging or your local Senior Center should have a resource list for assistance. Look into things now so you’re not caught off guard.
Im really sorry about your mom.
But if not, #2 priority i would suggest is to contact a home aid provider to have somebody ready to come in and be with him while you’re out of the house for a few hours. Your meetings outside of the house will probably increase soon...elder lawyer, (get POA if you don’t already have it), NH or Memory care initial visits. It’s probably best if you handle these alone initially, and you may not want to leave your dad home alone.
Be Very watchful for falls and take as many precautions as you can. When Mom was in her most confused state with UTI, that’s when a fall would happen.