My mother left a voice mail for me telling me what bills she'd gotten and were due. She was very clear and lucid.
Not 10 minutes later, I hear from her and she is upset and weepy because she can't remember where she gets her hair done AT ALL.
I imagine this is "normal", but would like to hear input. Thanks.
My mom had a nosebleed that I had to go address. A few days later, she couldn't remember the nosebleed or why she has a big tub of vaseline on her table (to keep her nose from drying out and bleeding again). I keep reminding her to put some up her nose. It can be very challenging.
Luckily my mom doesn't try to say things didn't happen, because she knows her memory is gone. It must be very, very hard for her too, to know that she can't remember anything. She can't remember she's 95. I have a big note on her couch telling her she's 95, but I constantly find little calculations she's done to figure out how old she is.
So in my opinion it is worthwhile to have a more "official" diagnosis of your loved one's ability. That helps you (and her) know roughly what to expect and to have someone to turn to as symptoms appear.
Forgetting a hair appointment is not a sign of serious memory loss. Forgetting where you get your hair done may be. And if I realized that my memory has been getting worse and worse I think I'd often be pretty weepy about it -- wouldn't you?
For some people it is a relief to finally have an explanation for their increasing symptoms and to talk opening about their disease and their needs and to get reassurances of help. For others it is more upsetting to have their fears confirmed with the dread word "dementia." You'll have to judge which category your mother fits into, but whatever you tell her, I think it will be very useful for you to get a more specific diagnosis.
Best wishes to you both as you continue on this challenging journey.