Just wondering: Do any of the caregivers on this forum visit or volunteer at a nearby nursing home? If so, what have you experienced?
When my children were in preschool they visited the nursing homes during Christmas to sing Christmas carols.
I went along on these field trips and saw the seniors eyes light up when they saw the children.
I felt that it was beneficial for the children and the seniors.
We were members of an organization called The Parenting Center.
The Parenting Center was involved in community outreach and we would go to the nursing home at Mardi Gras time.
We would dress the children in costumes and have a parade throughout the nursing home.
Many of those residents loved Mardi Gras and enjoyed our little parade. We also brought king cakes for them to enjoy, as they are a part of our Mardi Gras tradition.
The only other time I was in a nursing home was to see my godmother with Alzheimer’s disease and when my mother and father were there for rehabilitation services.
Sometimes, I think about visiting a nursing home but I don’t know if I would become depressed. I think about if I would ever go into a nursing home how nice it would feel to be visited by others.
What are your thoughts on visiting nursing homes, especially for those of us who have been long time caregivers. By the way, my mom has been gone since 2021. My dad died many years my mom, in 2002.
13 Answers
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There have been so many times I walked the halls with dread. It was not because my mother was difficult (although I know I have had posts that show frustration) but rather the amount of suffering I witnessed seemed endless. It would be kind of me to attempt to bring something to another still in residence and my Sundays will likely seem empty but I truly feel that perhaps my visitation needs to bring closure. Unless I have a complete personality reversal once my mother has passed. This is now the 3rd time I am being told the end is near but it clearly has all signs of it as clearly told to me today by the hospice nurse.
I was wondering if others continue to talk to their family member once they seem to have slipped into a coma which is not the case yet but could be soon.
To answer your question about talking to someone who has slipped into a coma.
Yes, I did that twice, first time was with my brother and the next time was with my mom.
I personally believe that they can hear us. What do you think?
The hospice nurses told me amazing stories about patients hearing family members when they were in a coma.
I did meet a woman who went once a week at the nursing home that my mom was doing rehab in.
She may have been volunteering through a church ministry, because she said that she was rotating with others and they tried to visit several of the residents.
She went to the DON and asked where she was most needed. They told her that she could work with a resident who had Alzheimer’s disease that didn’t eat well.
She helped feed her. She told the woman her name each week that she went. She was telling me that she asked her one time, “Do you know who I am? The woman responded, “No, I do not remember your name but I know that you belong to me.”
I found her story quite moving. She felt that she had formed a connection with this woman.
I'm completely burned out on caregiving and the elderly, and it's been almost two years since my last parent died. It's too bad, because I always far preferred the elderly to small children, but I just...can't anymore.
Maybe now that I'll be heading into my "Grandma years" soon, small kids will be more appealing, but for now I have to volunteer for happy, easy things like my library.
My husband thinks I don't have enough compassion. He does Meals on Wheels and volunteers at a food bank, but he offered very little hands-on help with my folks (supportive from a distance, though) and has absolutely no idea what kind of wringer I went through. His dad died 24 hours after a fall 400 miles from us and his mom is still barreling along but will get her care from one of his six siblings who are closer to her, so he's had it a lot easier. He also does better being helpful to strangers than to family. He completely collapses in a crisis.
Meals on Wheels and the food bank great places to volunteer.
We do have to volunteer where we are comfortable.
Anyway, should read mom died in 2021 and dad died many years before her in 2002.
Yes! The beginning of life is so very special.
I have friends that are NICU nurses and that is hard!
The facility seems nice, & the patients seem well-cared for, but it's not always easy to find someone if I have a question or want to know if they took her to the bathroom, for example. Her family feels (& I agree) that one-on-one interaction is more beneficial than having her sit in the activity room with other patients & an activity director.
I used to be a family entertainer (magician & ventriloquist). Once, when I was entertaining at a nursing home, I brought my dog puppet Digger (a Wrinkles toy) into the memory unit & had him sing a nursery school song - maybe Old McDonald. The patients gathered around us & began singing. So I had him sing other old songs. They sang, too. They also wanted to pet digger.
My significant other died 2/14/22 - his slide into dementia was swift, as was his death. I cared for him until he was hospitalized 10 days before he died. I had in-home home health care for a couple weeks.
I used to work for Big Apple Circus Clown Care Unit, which provided in-room entertainment to hospitalized children, & for Starlight Foundation of NY, which also provided in-hospital entertainment for children.
Not everyone is suited for that. When it's a family member, it's important to realize your limitations & boundaries.
She has bad memories of that facility.
They have a million different shades of polish now. Mom always told me to use lighter shades of pink.
My daughter asked her if she wanted blue polish and she said yes. She would have never told me yes to blue polish. She loved her grandchildren and they could talk her into things. Mom was very stylish.
How long did your babies stay in NICU? How long did you stay as a baby?
I started as a clown but took off the makeup in 1997 - I operated a small entertainment agency & was hiring magician friends for jobs I could have taken, myself. A dear friend/mentor told me to take off the makeup. So I did. I was a magician & ventriloquist - much better ventriloquist. I saw Edgar Bergan when I was little, but Shari Lewis was my inspiration. I retired from performing in 2013. I occasionally perform for benefits or friends. I think the young kids are fantastic, too.
I love when the therapy dogs visit the hospitals and nursing homes.
The last time my husband had surgery a woman came into the waiting area with a therapy dog. Everyone played with her dog. He was such a sweet pooch.
I did it for two or three years, until trips up north made it all a bit too hard. For people who are interested in volunteering, I’d suggest asking if there would be something to do that would be interesting for yourself and also for nursing home residents who are not necessarily too perky.
Of course, music is the easiest winner. I sometimes read poetry, and sang (badly) some of the well-known verses that are set to music. I occasionally read bits of the Bible, and other things that were on the school list for the age of the NH residents, and just talked about them if people were obviously listening. It fitted in with a shopping trip to the local town, and worked for me - even though it would be unrealistic to expect NH sessions to be very exciting!
We have a group of musicians in our city that visit nursing homes and hospice facilities. I believe that music is therapeutic in so many ways.
Good storytelling also allows a person to take their mind off of their troubles for awhile. I’m sure many people enjoyed when you read to them or sang songs for them.