When he was with the general population, they told me how good it was for him. Now he is in memory care (nothing changed physically, just the location) and they feel like he shouldn't go out out so much because the staff doesn't get to know him. We go out for the weekends. He enjoys it, he's with people he knows and feels comfortable with and they want to cut him out of it. Of course, I am just the girlfriend sooooo. I also visit with him every day. If there are activities going on, I make sure he participates but they don't want me visiting so much either. What is your take on this
Does he balk at returning after the outings or is he more difficult for staff to handle after you've left?
I spend a lot of time at my mom's momeory care in the evenings when as a rule there are no visitors and staff is busy putting folks to bed so those that have problem behaviors are left unattended - some nights it's quiet but some all hell breaks loose
I placed my mom in a memor care facility in a hurry from the hospital - their advice was it would be better for her to make only one move rather than to rehab and then memory care and I didn't want to send her to a nursing home
I thought she could still have a quality of life including going out - it has been difficult taking her back because she thinks I'm taking her home which she knows how to get to as the facility is in the same city however the last time I took her out after a dr appointment followed but a movie and dinner she threw a fit and wouldn't go back inside started hitting me and yelling for help and paddling away in he wheelchair -
I hate the thought of not being able to take her out but that scene could have ended with her getting hurt so unless I have someone with me to help I'm hesitant to try again - of course she could have just been having a meltdown and it might not happen again - as it is she's too dependent on me and spends most of the evening bugging staff about my whereabouts
You need to accept that you have no rights, and do what you have to to keep on her good side. If you don't, she can ban you completely. That sucks, but it's reality.
I'd be inclined to tell them to go suck eggs, but I would hear hear more details before I get rash.
I've never heard of a non-family member being allowed to take a person who is in Memory Care off of the premises. So, the daughter must have signed something allowing you do that. Is that the case?
Maybe, they feel that if you are present, he might not engage with other residents as much. I'd ask them to explain their motivations. I would assume it's for the patients welfare. Most places that I know of love to have a happy and contented resident. I can't imagine why they would work against that.
He has PD, the disease will eventually take over where he won't be able to go out, is it so wrong of me to want him to have the best quality of life as possible until that happens
The administrator asked his daughter how much she wants me to visit, right now it's gone done to every day for as long as I wanted to stay to 3 days a week, 1 hr a day after not seeing him at all for a week. I can't help but feel like I've been set up.
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