She expects slaves, not care givers and when she is unhappy she yells at staff and gets other residents worked up.
She has always been a little princess all of her life and everyone is out to make her life miserable. For instance, when I said "no" to her for the first time in my life (around 1987) she did not talk to me for 8 years. When she was healthy and had her own home, she would always complain that the neighbors would send their cat into her yard to mess it up, etc... She made staff upset at her assisted living place for 5 years and I had to put out all kinds of "mom fires" to keep her there. Now that she is in the nursing home, I was really hoping the fresh start would help, but even after 4 months they are starting to talk about kicking her out. I don't know what I would do with her then. She is mentally very sharp, she just can't physically get around. We have asked the nursing home doctors if there was some "happy" pills that can given to mom so the staff can take care of her without being verbally abused. She is already on an ant depression drug.
The big problem is, when mother does have a real problem (theft, pain, etc..), I don't know when she is crying wolf or not.
I could really use help.
Thanks
Do not be embarrassed. Be extra nice to the caregivers, know their names and their children's names....try to get some nice karma for your mom. Hold them to the expectation that they will deal with her professionally. Be very nice to the administration, Ignore the "thoughts" of kicking her out.....do not encourage it....go from there. Mom won't be happy anywhere, so that cannot be your goal. Your goal is a safe and professional environment for her.
Do you wish yourself back to that time?
What on earth possessed you to accept the power of attorney?
None of the above helps, though. Oh boy.
Suppose you (God forbid) got knocked down by a bus. Never mind what you do with her, what would she do without you? Then, if anybody has any suggestions as to how you make her consider that proposition, maybe it would be a fresh perspective?
I'm not hopeful, though.
Yes, I often feel like running away, and my husband says that when he retires in 3 years, we just might do that. I do have DPOA, and I am taking care of mom's finances and I live close to her nursing home. My sister lives out of state and is the main "phone call sounding board" for mom and she calls staff when needed. I show up when needed...about twice a week. I also work a full time job and a part time job, so....
Anyway, I look forward to any pearls of wisdom from you all on this.
Thank You
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