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has had an accident, but unlike last time, he wasn’t ticketed. He’s 92 and has dementia. We decided to tell him to hand over the keys. He honestly didn’t think this was any big deal! Lol..Anyway, he’s still manageable and doesn’t need nursing home care. Should we pay full market value for the truck? My concern is that he’ll try to take that money and buy something else. He’s been trying to bargain with me about driving again and I told him no way. What concerns me is that although we live in his house, we pay for a majority of the expenses, including my handling of all of his day to day needs. He would not be able to afford to live in the house and afford upkeep, nor could he keep up with the chores. Is it as simple as us still having to pay full market value and hope that he doesn’t try to buy something else? No one in the family has ever stayed in a nursing home longer than a year. He doesn’t have a lot of cash and his house is his biggest asset. It’s a pretty complex situation, because he can’t gift the house to us, either. I’m just not sure how anything should be taken care of because of his age/ risk. Thanks for your time.

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Seems like the driving should have stopped before this second accident. You’re fortunate no one was injured and this wasn’t worse. Stop trying to reason with a person with dementia, no more looping conversations that get no one anywhere. Sell the truck, yes, for fair market value, and put the money in an account for his care needs. Whoever is his POA for finances should be paying his bills and overseeing his finances as a person with dementia cannot be trusted to do this.
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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At what point would you think he's NOT still manageable, and what does "manageable" mean to you? Like, he has dementia, had an accident "last time" and was ticketed, but you still thought it was okay for him to drive?
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Reply to Fawnby
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Yes, sell his vehicle for a good price and keep very good records of the transaction and where the money went. All the proceeds should go to fund his care. Do you have POA or guardianship?
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Reply to JustAnon
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If he doesn't have a PoA this has to happen. Please tell us if you or anyone is his PoA. Your living arrangement is a pretty common one involving elderly parents and adult children who rely on living together.

His PoA can legally prevent him from driving and manage his finances so that he doesn't do irrational and wreckless things. Do not allow anecdotal fears about facilities prevent your family from considering this a possible solution if necessary. My MIL lived in AL then LTC on Medicaid for 7 years in an excellent facility that had gardens, was on a large suburban recreational lake, had a boat in which they took residents out (even ones in wheel chairs) and an Activities Director. She had a much richer daily life than I could ever have given her. Because a facility should never be discounted as a option, you should consult with a certified elder law or estate attorney or Medicaid Planner for your home state to make sure you don't do anything that will disqualify your Father. In most states the financial application lookback is 5 years. Your Dad is already 92.

Yes, you should buy the vehicle for FMV and make sure to have a paper trail. Suggest he put the money in a short-term investment so he can't access it easily (like a 6-month CD or something). Time to consult with a professional so that you won't be blindsided by his future care and management needs.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Do you have his POA?
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Reply to MG8522
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His POA should sell the truck and put the money in an account he does not have access to, to pay for future needs. If you are living together, someone in the home should already have POA and be managing his finances completely. I give my mom her weekly pocket money in cash, for example, to keep her from making terrible financial decisions. We sold her car after my dad died bc she couldn’t drive alone without getting lost, but we also moved her into senior living at the same time so she really didn’t need a car at that point. He doesn’t need a car either, just be prepared for lots of whining and complaining.
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Reply to ShirleyDot
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You mean sell at Market value? Yes you must sell at market value. I would call Social Services and talk to a Medicaid rep and ask how Market value is determined. Call his Doctor and request they contact DMV and have his license taken away. For now, move the truck. Out of sight out of mind.

If you have POA its time to use it. Talk to the bank and see how you can stop Dad from getting to his money. Your roles are now reversed. Dad is the child and your are the parent. Its no longer what he wants, its what he needs. You can tell him No Dad. Even if Dementia was not in the picture, 2 accidents at 92 is serious. With Dementia, his licence should have been taken away when he was diagnosed.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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