My mother is starting to lose everything. For example, she puts the TV on and then when she is ready for bed she can't find the remote. There are times she goes to bed with the TV on and a family member comes the next day with another remote. Of course, it's not her...someone is coming in and stealing everything. She was taking lorazapam to help her sleep at night and her "new" doctor took her off it completely. Said with her medical history (heart issues and dizziness) it would agitate her more. She is taking 20 mg celexa one tablet a day, but it's not helping.
Not just us feel this way. From other patients, medical workers, families heard the same. Maybe burn out from working with AL/dementia patients? Not very patient or compassionate at all. We have an upcoming appt with a neurologist to try and get a diagnosis. The lorazapam did help her sleep through the night. Now she has nothing. I was told by her doctor for her to take tylenol. Now how is that going to help her sleep?
Meanwhile, assume she has dementia and learn all you can about common behaviors and what to expect.
For example, it is Extremely Common for persons with dementia to go through a period of paranoia. It is very scary for their world to stop making sense to them. It seems as it they are being tricked or attacked. They think "I'd better protect my valuables from whoever is doing this." So they hide their new glasses. Then they don't remember where they hid them, or even that they did hide them, and that feeds into the paranoia. "See, I was right! Someone is stealing things from me!"
This is very frustrating for caregivers, to say the least. My husband's experience with paranoia was for just a few months. Take some comfort in that this stage won't last forever (probably.)
The usual (and I think best) advice is not to argue or scold or accuse in this situation. Sympathize. And try to find the item. (Often the same hiding place is used over and over, which helps!) "Oh Mom! How annoying for you to have that remote go missing just when you want to turn the television off. When we find it or get another one, should we tape it to a big cutting board so it can't get lost so easily? .... Well, I suppose someone COULD be stealing it for a joke, but the big board will make that harder, too. Let's just double-check under the cushions here"
You are sorry that the item is missing. You don't agree it has been stolen but you don't say "that is a stupid idea" either. Keep Mom calm and reassured. Keep in mind that the item may not just be "lost" but it might be deliberately hidden, so her glasses might be in a tissue box and the remote might be in the freezer. This behavior is Not Her Fault, and it is not done to annoy you. She is trying to hang on to control in a world that is becoming strange to you.
Hang in there! You and Mom will get through this! Above all, don't take her accusations personally.
Between now and her appointment, keep a log of the odd things she is now doing. It will help the nuerologist.
I would write down all the the things you have observed about your mom and give to the doctor. This will help them. They may refer her to a neurologist for further tests or a geriatric psychiatrist. There are tests they can give your mom in the office that tests for dementia. Some people perform pretty well on that, even when they do have dementia. I would try to go in the afternoon when her symptoms may be more pronounced.
The doctors should be able to know what kind of meds she needs . They are many types, depending on her diagnosis. She certainly should not be deciding this for herself. My loved one, who has advanced dementia, takes Cymbalta and it really has helped her a lot. If cut out the anxiety and crying, but doesn't help with memory. It was a wonder drug for her, but it may not work for others. There are also meds for dementia that are supposed to help the person function for longer, but I don't know much about them. (Aricept and Namenda.)
As older people are prone to UTI's in the past I've had to ask Dr. to order the urinalysis and twice she's had a UTI. We have an appt. with a neurologist but can't get in until mid Nov. Never actually been diagnosed with dementia so we want to get a diagnosis. Some days she is great....other days very unhappy...says she is bored, but generally won't go out when I ask her. Got the PERS for her,(she's had several falls) but she won't wear the bracelet. Threw it across the kitchen table and that's where it's laying. Who know when it will "mysteriously" disappear like so many other things. And, she will blame someone else for stealing from her. Paranoia.
Lorazapam is a short acting antianxiety medication, in other words it takes effect right away. Celexa is an antidepressant that takes several weeks to start having an effect. Call the doctor and have a chat about all this.
What is the specialization of her "new" doctor? Geriatrician? Geri Psych? Neurologist?
Did the lorazpam work? Did it make her more agitated?