Whom do I turn to to get help when your of low income trying to take care of a 90 year old parent at home? AOoA,State office no help. All I get is excuses or no return calls. I have been battling them for almost 2 years. With AOoA I've gone thru 5 agencies and over 30 aides.Aides who had no idea how to take care of a 90 year Alzheimer's patient. Aides who had on average 4 months experience.Now they say they can't staff rural Northwest Ohio. The State Department on Aging has basically forced me to go through a program called Consumer Directive, where I find someone and the State and Local Offices take their time having the prospective aide go through paper work and BCI checks costing up to 70.00 dollars. The process can take 3 to 6 months to complete. My mom is 90 years old and Alzheimer's is going to take her life. So because I pissed people off they all basically ignore me and go at their own pace. I have called State and Local representatives and it all funnels down to the local AOoA, the origin of all my problems. So now I feel like I'm in a small boat in the middle of a lake with holes in it and everybody is on shore watching us sink. Well I'm her 65 year son and I'm not going to let her drown. We have no family,she was an orphan at berth. my dad and his family have all passed away and I'm single with on X's or children.
Putting her in a nursing home is not going to happen as long as I'm alive. We spent together a total of 45 days in nursing / rehab homes and being low income you do not get quality care. So it will be interesting to read any responses to this post. Stay forever young, I'm out.
My solution was to remove her from that community and relocate her to one that was closer to my own home. I found a good nursing home (they ARE out there) and made the move. It saved her life (literally) and it saved mine too - caregiver burnout was damaging my physical and mental health. Is our current situation perfect? No, but it IS manageable. She's safe, comfortable, entertained, and able to socialize when she feels like it; I can sleep at night because I'm not worried about the next crisis, and I only drive 40 minutes to see her (as opposed to flying 400 miles, booking a rental car and a hotel, etc).
If looking outside your immediate neighborhood is unrealistic, you might try a Medical Adult Day Care - they specialize in caring for Alzheimers patients, and they can give you daily respite at a more affordable price than in-home care.
Have you tried the Alzheimers Association?
You deserve helpful comments from this site not negative ones! I do hope someone will come up with some useful advice as to how to get help in your area of Ohio. I wish you better luck from now on for you are a devoted son to your mother. It really is hell caring for a very sick person alone - (dont I know it!) but this site is great to vent and get practical advice . Would your local Church
be any help as another person mentioned?
Medical she so desperately needed. I still vist my Grandma, 3
Times a week at the N.F. My prays go out to you. Being the care taker is a hard job.
Unfortunately, there is very little good information on caring for those 85 plus years, My business had 3 clients over age 85. It is tough to know what to do at times, especially given their degree of memory loss.
BTW, most persons with ALZ die from another cause, heart, respiratory diseases, to name a couple. I can tell you feel helpless, You have a hard road ahead of you. Alzheimer's is a first degree robbery, except you can't see the gun.
You've been through rough times and nothing seems to get done by those who are supposed to help. I don't know where you live but nursing homes in my community treat Medicaid residents the same as others. I spent 15 years with one eye open even though my family was private pay. There was no way to tell who was who.
I realize not all communities are so fortunate but perhaps some homes are better than others.
Sadly, available resources to help caregivers in the home are sparse and hard to get. You have seen that and continue to see that. You've been run through a grinder and are angry. I can understand that.
As was mentioned, I wish that we could wave a magic wand and fix this for you, but we can't. You've tried most everything we can suggest other than, from what I read, opening up about nursing homes.
Best wishes for you and your mother on this journey. It's a cruel one.
Carol
And you don't understand why you don't get responses?
Sit down, calm yourself, adopt a different attitude and come back when you're ready to be more courteous.
Then others knowledgeable about Medicaid might offer suggestions. But be civil.
You're not the only poster on this site; review some of the posts and you'll find that there are a lot of people here who want and need help, and answers aren't always forthcoming immediately.
This is an on-line forum, not a chat room or one-on-one chat session where you get immediate answers to your questions.