Mother is 77. Healthy. Refuses to accept it. She had a long addiction and heavy use of Xanax that has ended. But lies, manipulates to get it back, which is part of addiction. She is down to 3 doses of the lowest possible amount. She is dispensed medicine from a machine to keep her away from the Xanax. She refuses to take her antidepressants and other medications. She insists they make her sick. She is diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression. She whines and groans of false pains to avoid meds. Her health has been checked from top to bottom regularly. No issues not even a cataract. The mood disorders are life time. The manipulation and lies lifetime. Grandmother was the same way. Mother swore us two daughters to never let her behave like her.
She began it early. Grandmother trained her well. Hide pills under tongue. Get sick at holidays so families are forced to visit. Only one daughter lives close and the other is disabled 2 hours away. Me. I was called in by aunts to control Grandmother when they could not get any cooperation. I had to treated her with tough love. Mother knows this is how I will treat her and has had me removed from all information. While I was sitting next to her. "I don't want her contacted ever." Thanks mom love you too. But my sister isn't as direct. Mother melts in her arms. They had a strained relationship for 52 years. I am still very active in her care from a distance as she is too much for 5 people to handle let alone just one. She remarried and his view is she is grown and can't be forced. Our father was more like me and saw that it was accomplished. Her new husband is abusive verbally. His personality has changed likely due to a stroke. We visit he calls the police. I visit when he is hospitalized and watch her take 20 mg of Xanax in 2 hours. He calls and has me thrown from the premises.it is a big mess. She went to a behavior center for 10 days. They state it is the worst anxiety they ever saw.
My sister is younger and told of a normal life and childhood. I had to drive back and explain the abuse from her Mother, her mental health my years at home, her abandoning my disabled sister. Finally hope is seen. Yet here she is. We know she isn't taking her meds. She demands each be identified. Not so she knows for knowledge but she knows what not to take. She doesn't have dementia or Alzeheimers. Her husband thinks she does so she deliberately asks dumb questions to feed this thought. He hates lights on and cabinet doors open. She leaves them open and lights on because he hates it so much. We don't know what to do. We are desperate for help, she is very competent. Considerably healthier than me. Her behavior effects us girls, spouses, and kids. We are desperate for ideas.
As you state, she is competent to make her own decisions. Step away. Live your life.
It's great your mother has found a way to get off of the Xanax.