My Aunt is 88 yrs old. I think she is on the Medicare part b or D plan I'm not for sure at this moment.
She lives alone in her own home as she demand's to do. I'm her Durable POA.As of now my Aunt is compatent to do what she desires to do. She has dementia but, not taking pills for it. She "wasn't" told by the doctor incompatent. Many people think that when a elderly person has dementia their automatically incompatent. That's not true. The only two ways to be incompatent is either told by a doctor incompatent or if taking meds for dementia. So, my Aunt is 88 yrs old with dementia but, still legally compatent. People say if your Aunt has dementia she's incompatent. Well, that's not true.
I turned my Durable POA over to her bank & doctor. So, now they all know I'm her POA. My Durable POA states it takes effect immediately upon the Aunt's signature of signing that POA. Some here on this forum tell me my POA doesn't take effect until my Aunt is incompatent. But, my POA states effected immediately. So I don't know who is correct about this POA stuff. My Aunt pays her own bills and does a good job doing so. There is times to where she doesn't feel like getting out to go to her bank to get her self spending money. So, I use this POA to get money for her when she doesn't feel like getting out. She makes a check out for cash and I sign the check as POA. Is how I do it. The bank doesn't give me any problems. I keep notes of what I do to cover my self.
Anyway,
My Aunt is very tight with her money. Like any other elderly person is. They feel they still live in the 70's era. I talked to my Aunt many, many times explaining to her she needs life alert or a product like life alert. I showed her the cost of these products and she refuses saying it cost to much. Three days in a row she told me she fill in the same place in the kitchen. I don't know if she is forgetting that it happened yesterday with her dementia or if it's true she fill 3 days in a row in the same place. But, regaurdless she needs life alert or something for when she falls next.
Does Medicare pay for life alert?
I am her DPOA but, if I attempt to buy it with her funds without her permission she may call the cops and send me to jail for doing so.I don't have the money to buy it for her. She has the money to buy the product. She's just to tight with her money to do so. She won't give in to buy the product. Everything I try to explain she needs to buy she thinks I'm just out to spend her money. She says she's tired of spending money all the time. Truth be told the only money she spends is on house bills and food. That's it. She amazes me how much food she eats. We do her shopping for her. She makes the list we buy it. She spends $60 a week on food for only her. We buy buy her 2 boxes of Matt's Cookies and in two days she ate them all. I'm amazed how much she eats for a 88 yr old lady.
Same example, she loves those McRibs from McDonolds. She can eat that McRib faster then I. And want another. It's crazy.
Anyway does anyone know about a free life alert or another type product I can tell my Aunt to buy? or get for free?
I didn't think of remembering to push the button thought.My Aunt may have the same problem but,who knows she has nothing right now.She fell 3 times within 4 days.Every fall she complained a little of her hip hurting.She says it's a little sore is all.She get's up and walks around.So,I must take her word for it that she's ok.
No,she don't want the medical alert.But,with her is like talking to a child at times.At this point I don't care what she wants.I care for what she needs.Tomarrow I'm gonna seat down and talk to her about this stuff because,I about had it.Her desire is not to go to a nurcing home.She wants to live at her home alone till she dies.Well,inorder for that to happen many things need to be done as this medical alert.She tells me all the time,"Where would I be today if I didn't save all this money".Well,if she wants to stay in her own home alone?It's time to start spending some of that money on her needs inorder to stay at home.3 times of her falling is a charm.Next time maybe the last.I'm her POA and her caregiver but,I'm done taking risks and chances inorder for her to save her money.She has $100,000 in one of her accounts.She can afford medical alert.She's to cheap to buy her self a bed pan.She uses plastic empty coffee jugs to urein in instead of getting up to go to her bathroom.Her house stinks of urien from this.The smell doesn't seem to mind the visiting nurce that comes to see her.From my Aunt avoiding to spend a little money for her true needs to make life easier.It makes me look bad as her caregiver.I'm giving her the automatem.I'm gonna show her the prices of what live in caregivers charge.Over nurcing homes.I'm gonna tell her I can't be her caregiver anymore without being paid for my services as her caregiver.Regardless it's time for her to start spending her money.I can't take a risk over another fall.I've saved her tons of money by not charging her a dime for my services.I'm done taking from my own pocket.If this was my Mother I wouldn't have a choice but to care for her and take the loss.But,this isn't my Mother it's my Aunt that decided a long time ago to never have children.This is the result of that.
If she had children I would be here taking care of her .She made her bed.She needs to face her results.I was told I can charge her as example $600 a month for my caregiver services if I decide to move in to help her.If she feels this is to much money?So,let it be.I'm done.Let her realize the other caregivers prices.Far more then $600 I will say that.You told me about a month ago,if I want to be paid for my caregiver services?Give up the POA.Well,I'm gonna give my Aunt my price.If she agrees I'm calling the attorney to either change the POA so I can get paid for my services or give up the POA.To this day I don't understand why my Aunt can't pay me for my caregiver services because,I'm her POA.I here all the time people being their Mother's caregiver and POA charging their parents fees and getting away with it.
You've been with me on this forum for over 2 months giving me advice and hearing my venting about my Aunt. As reading all of my other past threads thru out the past 2 months. You should know by now what all I'm going thru with this Aunt.As you know her past caregiver beat her up & got put in jail for battery. The past 2 months I'm the one dealing with adult social services, detectives and attorneys about this mess. I do everything for my Aunt. In return I get hateful words from her and no money for my time. My Aunt is the type of person that uses her WILL to obtain free help from others. As many other elderly people do this same thing to obtain help. My Aunt had her WILL changed many, many times thru out the yrs. The attorney showed me all the past Wills and Trusts that was made up thru the yrs. About every family member was in her Will and removed thru out the yrs. She would tell a family member I will put you on my Will if you help me? Then after the family members helped her. The Aunt would disown them and have them removed from her Will .The Aunt burned her bridges with all the family and friends. Because, that's how hateful she was and still is. I'm the last family member of her family that is willing to help her and she knows it. I'm not after her money or her home. Sure it all sounds good. But, she may out live me who knows. If I was out for money and to lock it all in all I need to do is have her stated incompatent by a doctor. Doing that stops her from changing her Will. But, I'm not gonna do that.
I'm done taking risks worring about the Aunt's next fall.If she isn't willing to spend her money to make her life easier? I'm done. I'm not taking the risk of people or police asking why she is living alone and don't own a bed pan. If she's not willing to change. So be it I'm done. It's strange that her visiting nurce see's these urein coffee jugs all over her house but,yet the nurce never offered her a bed pan or told her doctor. She must enjoy the smell I guess. Sorry for all the venting.I think about this stuff all day 24/7. I'm going nuts I think lol.I need a break.
My plan to be her live in care giver was to move into her basement. That way if she needed me I was their. And that way I'm not with her upstairs 24/7 going nuts. But,thinking about it now?I'm not living with her now and I'm allready going nuts.I only see her every other day and still going nuts lol.The caregiver that abused her lived with her 24/7. No excuse for the caregiver abusing her but,I can see how it could happen. Just depends on how short of a fuse you have to deal with a hateful lady. I never laid a hand on a lady. I was raised not to.
Well, I'm done for the nite have a good nite.
Best,
a broken hip at her age could kill her! i don't see how you could be faulted for saving her life, good grief.
cfrizz, very interesting about the automatic buttons. i had no idea they existed.
my mother has a doorbell looking thing she wars around her neck, and it rings two remote units i have in the house.
but hey, i am free so no problem for her, haha.
although after one of her strokes she went a little crazy for a while and just pushed it all night and all day for fun. but she came back around after a few months. i guess i got lucky there. at one point she became physically abusive and we had to call the ambulance. she assulted the emt's and the police were called. she flirted with the female officer and assulted the male officer all 110 lbs. of her, strength like an ox.
i live in complete paranoia that she will have another one of those breakdowns, whatever that was:/
i did break down and buy a rolling tray for her the other day, with my own money and she couldn't get o er the fact that i spent sixty five dollars for it. it was worth a thousand to me, because it has saved what little of my back is left.
but these depression era elders are a real handful when it comes to money, or even trying to make them give up used milk cartons or ANYTHING that they might "need" some day.
dogabone, call your local area agency on aging, and talk to your aunts dr. get her that damn alert thingie!
just my two cents.