I was able to get my medical affidavits for guardianship/conservatorship but am undecided about whether or not to proceed. Dad is living with us right now (only a few weeks in). Whether this is long term or short term is undecided.
However, while he is with us, I want to make sure that anything we need to take care of can be taken care of with no trouble. I know with social security you can do the representative payee, with Medicaid you can do authorized representative, at banks, I believe they use another form. But when it comes to IRS and other places I am unsure of what can be used to handle his affairs.
I was also thinking if he were to remain with us, we would have to build on a room to give us some privacy and peace of mind while overseeing and would need financing and for him to pay for this addition. Of course, if I can get husband to agree.
Remember we are dealing with some dementia here. I appreciate your advice.
I don't know about how guardianships work, except they're extremely expensive. The above POAs won't cost anywhere near that.
I am the trustee for my parents' trust (already functioning in that role when both were still living), and that role, along with those durable and medical POAs have been sufficient for me to handle all my mother's affairs (Dad is gone now) without any problems.
POAs can be fired by the person that asked you to be one if they are influenced while they are exhibiting symptoms of dementia. Many people have paranoid delusions especially about money and theft, so it is easy and those that they live with all the time have easy access to influence. Guardianship and conservatorship are the only answers. We had to take that course and lucky found out at the right time then he fired me after I found an attorney. The situation can also be necessary within a family with dynamics that are not working in the best direction for the impaired individual. OR they are both impaired and think they aren't- like ours also.
If he is not incapicitated the court will not grant guardianship.
Yes, you can. The father himself can have answry appointed to be his conservator/guardian. He will have to have a lawyer for himself and do it in the probate court.
They can have modifications done to the home as well if it is for the benefit of the person they have conservatorship over.
I know someone who did exactly this. They had an elderly aunt who was a widow and had no kids. She had her niece appointed conservator over her through the probate court.
Then the niece renovated her house on the aunt's money. The place wouldn't have been safe for her if she didn't do this. She also charged her rent and charged for being her caregiver. There was no problems.
The aunt lived there with her niece and the niece's family for three years. Then she became too bad off with dementia and had to be put in a care facility. There was no problems with the court or with Medicaid over the money spent to make the niece's home safe for her aunt to be there.
It can be done. Just make sure you have a lawyer who knows what they're doing.
I'll tell you the truth, I wish I had conservatorship/guardianship over my father instead of just POA. I can't tell you how many hours were spent on the phone on hold because a credit card company or bank wouldn't shut down a card or an account because they wouldn't accept my POA documents on their own.
Get the conservatorship/guardianship. If you have to place your father in a care facility at some point, having it will be a lot better for you both. When nursing homes see a conservatorship/guardianship in place they don't pull the underhanded and often illegal financial abuse that they usually will when there isn't one. Conservatorship/guardianship prevents this because the court is involved. A conservator/guardian in my state has to report to the probate court periodically which is a good thing because they keep the thieving of nursing homes in check. Get the conservatorship.
however, not sure where the tone (seems like there is one) is coming from with the, "no difference your sacrifice of pocket office. I didn't considered it as a sacrifice, I considered it helping dad until things can be figured out. If no tone, apologize in advance for the misunderstanding.
Says it is because he is on SSI and Medicaid instead of SSD and Medicaid. Says that the sister can remain in the home only if he (I forgot how she worded this statement) signs over the property to the sibling that still lives in the home.
She also went on to say between the two people who questioned him to get permission to speak to me over the course of a week feels he is still competent enough for now that he does not require representative payee. Still will need to see if the attorney feels the same way.
So if the sibling that still lives there does not want him back in his own home, it seems no other choice but the nursing home. I don't know if he can be declared incompetent right now, has been doing pretty good if he would just go to sleep at night (sigh). So guardianship may be the only way to get him in his own or to keep as we are going but the courts may not find him incompetent.
Totally confusing laws and rules.
So options presented were to buy dad's property out one of us and take care of him in his home, put the home on the market and use the funds for his care, or to buy each other out, etc.
Even more confused but will attempt the dreaded conversation. Why could we all not be rich? Sigh.
Remember if you are the POA or you are the person that steps up in your family. Keep that in mind- important when you think about "dreaded conversations" what you are. Important no matter to be aware and document the event in detail.
These meetings are for sharing information and collaborating to advocate on the behalf of someone that is not able to do it at 100% of their previous level.
No question---This is emotional but still financial elements provide care. If someone is living in his house, bills have to be paid and expecting rent is reasonable, but it requires management. Also insurance--- If no one is in the house more than 3 months, most insurance rate go up significantly as abandoned. So, we go to Dad's house to stay and keep things taken care of enough to make sure we keep things good until we can settle the estate per the court.
Has he seen any of his doctors recently? What are their opinions on his abilities? While it requires a court to determine need for Guardianship, it would help give you an idea. What is the concensus of the siblings? This is what your meeting should be about-finding out what everyone is thinking and their ideas.
Have an outline of things you would like to cover and ask or talk about. You can open by saying that you wanted to bring everyone up to speed with what the attorney told you. If personalities are historically problematic, think this through before. This where making a script helps and keep in mind this is going to be a management situation, not a decision and done. The focus is on making decisions which are providing advocacy for your Father's care and funding this care. Most people don't have a clue how much it costs to have someone in memory care-$4500-$6000 private pay.
Best wishes
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