Ive been taking care of my parents for many yrs and a 40 yr old male. Me and my mom are very close. Ive been in a relationship for the last 4 months and shes pregnant. Other brothers and sisters are telling me my mother is missing me even though i stop in every single day and take them to dr appointments.
My mother seems to be giving up and is becoming very depressed even though she still lives with my father.
I need to have my life too....but i also love my mom more then anythinf and she always comes first.
Now that you're about to become a father, you will soon two people who will be your new priority. Your brothers and sisters along with yourself need to meet together and come with a plan for your mother's care and safety.
Good luck.
If you let her play you now, she will play you for the rest of your life.
Now go take care of the wife and baby. Mom has to let you grow up.
Of course you love your mother. Until now she has come first. But that has to change if you are to have a normal committed relationship with a woman and child. Think about the years Mom was raising you. Did she put your grandmother first in her life, ahead of your father and you? I certainly hope not!
Continue to love your mother. See her and/or call her often. But now is the time for you to begin focusing heavily on your new relationship.
Congratulations x1000 on the baby and relationship!!
Your baby-mother and that baby come first.
Always. And forever now.
Mom can get over it. She may throw dramatic scenes and be very difficult to deal with. You have to be strong through this. Baby is #1 and that's the way it's supposed to be.
Mom has to understand it's not all or nothing. Yes, she will now have to wait for her piece of you, but this is the natural order of things.
It's time she let you be the adult you are, and focus on your adult obligations without turning it around and making it all about her.
My mother threw every conceivable kind of fit possible when I got married and then at each of my childrens' births. She tried making herself sick. She tried creating fake emergencies to make everybody come a running. She threatened to throw up during my wedding ceremony. She has done a lot of very selfish and mean, hurtful things over the years due to her narcissism.
Your folks have to learn to get help from other people and services now. It's mind boggling how many people come to this site with parents who never expected to age and never expected to need help, and never planned ahead. So many folks come here in crisis because mom & dad just assumed the (now adult and aging) "kids" had the audacity to go get their own lives.
When you have specific questions about where & how to get them help for different things, come back & ask! We have a lot of really wise people here who literally have lived through it all.
It seems like some parents are so selfish that they forget that they got married and had children back then without their parents throwing a fit over their getting married and going off on some drama kick every time a child was born! On the other hand some of them never put their spouse and children first and thus don't understand those who do.