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I live 5 1/2 hours away from her. I am an only child of only children, so no family or siblings. Has isolated herself completely, so no friends or family there. Daddy passed 10 years ago. She needs to move out to assisted living (memory care?) - high fall risk, not eating well but still (barely) able to do all ADL's, clinically depressed, but she won't consider it. Still driving (yikes!).


We cannot move there. Asked her to move to assisted living or here with us or to another residence here where we are - won't consider it. Doctor won't meet with me - HIPAA rules. I only found out about dementia diagnosis through someone in the medical records department who told me by accident (??)


We are at stalemate. I'm at my wits end. Would welcome any ideas or experience you may have in getting a loved one to move.

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You will have to apply for guardianship. Sounds like you do not have DPOA or POA for any financial or health? Who is paying her bills. IF she is driving and IF she is paying her own bills, and IF you are uncertain of her real diagnosis, you are really not even in the know as to what is really going on?
I think you are going to need to arrange a way to spend time with Mom now so you can know what you need to do. If you see that she is unable to care for herself you will need to contact an Elder Law Attorney where she is to find out next steps. So it is clearly time for family leave if you are working, or to go there if you are not. Wishing you luck and hoping you will update us as you go. This cannot be an unusual situation for many to face down in the future.
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Do you have her Durable POA?
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