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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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No, she can't take back the POA. If you're acting in her best interests and the nursing home is getting paid on time, there's no problem.
Honestly, what can your mother really do from a nursing home? You don't have to listen to her demands. You can walk away. Hang up a phone. Or not visit for a while.
A diagnosis of dementia doesn’t necessarily mean incapacitated. If she finds a way to get forms to revoke POA and signs in front of a notary and witness, it’s possible. It would be up to the notary or attorney to decide if she’s mentally competent enough to sign. That’s the way it is in my state.
I don't like you. You've not my friend anymore. You won't do what I say. I'm getting a new friend.
That's the jist right? Sigh.
Sometimes an elder threatens to revoke the POA, wants to nominate the next sibling or niece/nephew. Someone they feel will 'obey'. Want to change their will too.
Really need a professional opinion as to their level of understanding & competence.
I met a lovely man who was often very happy & sweet. Also often angry at his daughter for not picking him up & driving him to his house to live alone again. He had memory loss, was diabetic, incontinent, was unable to walk or self-propel a wheelchair. Had one leg amputated (no prosthetic as had been unable to participate with physio). Needed staff to hoist from bed to chair. Needed staff to wash & dispense his meds. However, could eat his meal himself when placed directly in front of him (lids off) 😃. He continually hassled his daughter with demands: Get me home. Find me a new home. Get me new shoes (so I can walk??) Get me a laywer so I can change my POA..
MiamiAnnie, what sort of demands does your Mom have? Are any reasonable? Or is there a big lack of insight to her situation?
Learn from your kids, if they have “…..gone on to live their lives..”, because if it intensely bothers you that your mother gets mad at you, you’re still expecting her to treat you differently from the way she treats you now, and she can’t.
Your mother is no longer to understand the consequences of what she says. You will be more comfortable when you can accept the fact that what she says to you is the result of declining brain function, not true intent.
She would have to go hire a lawyer, prove that she was cognitively intact, and withdraw her POA from you, and then select someone else and legally indicate that that person has become her POA.
Do you think she’d be able to do that?
Continue to love and respect her, but be sure that you understand that her being “mad” has nothing to do with what you do regarding her care.
So is this new for mom or has she always been this way? Just wondering if you are finally setting boundaries and she is mad or if this change is because of her dementia.
I guess I have grown old and cynical about these senior brat threats that I have grown barnicles on my hide after dealing with these folks.
How I deal with them now is I don't listen any longer. Their brains are broken, and I have a right to how much of this nonsense I'm going to take on. There is a such thing as having boundaries. What I'm noticing is that these people will make threats to take away a POA. I'm like; so what? Do it and end my misery. My sister played this game with her daughter, and called me about it. I told her I was not going to become the POA. I told her that I can help her make phone calls to agencies if she needed help with something, but that was as far as my services would extend to her. I haven't heard anything else from her. LOL Her daughter thought I was lying about the POA incident and a year later called to apologize for not believing me. My attitude was like; I don't care what you believe at this point. You mother knew what she did and acting like she didn't do it did not fly over with me. I have a bs detector. I haven't heard anymore from them. Good riddance.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Honestly, what can your mother really do from a nursing home? You don't have to listen to her demands. You can walk away. Hang up a phone. Or not visit for a while.
That's the jist right? Sigh.
Sometimes an elder threatens to revoke the POA, wants to nominate the next sibling or niece/nephew. Someone they feel will 'obey'. Want to change their will too.
Really need a professional opinion as to their level of understanding & competence.
I met a lovely man who was often very happy & sweet. Also often angry at his daughter for not picking him up & driving him to his house to live alone again. He had memory loss, was diabetic, incontinent, was unable to walk or self-propel a wheelchair. Had one leg amputated (no prosthetic as had been unable to participate with physio). Needed staff to hoist from bed to chair. Needed staff to wash & dispense his meds. However, could eat his meal himself when placed directly in front of him (lids off) 😃. He continually hassled his daughter with demands: Get me home. Find me a new home. Get me new shoes (so I can walk??)
Get me a laywer so I can change my POA..
MiamiAnnie, what sort of demands does your Mom have? Are any reasonable? Or is there a big lack of insight to her situation?
Your mother is no longer to understand the consequences of what she says. You will be more comfortable when you can accept the fact that what she says to you is the result of declining brain function, not true intent.
She would have to go hire a lawyer, prove that she was cognitively intact, and withdraw her POA from you, and then select someone else and legally indicate that that person has become her POA.
Do you think she’d be able to do that?
Continue to love and respect her, but be sure that you understand that her being “mad” has nothing to do with what you do regarding her care.
How I deal with them now is I don't listen any longer. Their brains are broken, and I have a right to how much of this nonsense I'm going to take on. There is a such thing as having boundaries. What I'm noticing is that these people will make threats to take away a POA. I'm like; so what? Do it and end my misery. My sister played this game with her daughter, and called me about it. I told her I was not going to become the POA. I told her that I can help her make phone calls to agencies if she needed help with something, but that was as far as my services would extend to her. I haven't heard anything else from her. LOL Her daughter thought I was lying about the POA incident and a year later called to apologize for not believing me. My attitude was like; I don't care what you believe at this point. You mother knew what she did and acting like she didn't do it did not fly over with me. I have a bs detector.
I haven't heard anymore from them. Good riddance.