My mom is 87 she lives with my sister. This is not how my mom was with me. she yells and curs at my kids. she has a bladder infection and will not give us permit-ion to talk to the doctor about her medication. My older sister has taken control of my moms money, home and making the wrong decisions. No one has power or guardianship. What can I do, My sister calls me all the time. I told her to call 911, they would not take my mom because she was not upset when they got there. Is there any one who can hold my hand to list the each step to take to fix things.
I would strongly suggest contacting Adult Protective Services and asking if they can help, or can at least point you in the right direction to get Mom the help she needs. This situation will not get better on its own.
I can understand why you're confused. This is a very trying situation. It's too bad that no one has Power Of Attorney, but even then it can be hard to get anything done if the elder doesn't cooperate. You could call adult protective services at your county social services office.
If you think that your sister is abusing your mother financially or any other way, you can try to get help from an elder law attorney. Your State's Attorney's office may be able to get you someone who'd give you at least a free consultation.
If your mom has a bladder infection she needs medication and that bladder infection could be affecting how she acts. You'll need help to legally get her to do anything about it, though. I'd call your social services office first and ask for adult protective services. Tell them the problem and see if they can guide you.
Good luck,
Carol