She used to eat dinner with a very negative lady, who has left the residence. Now she says nobody will sit with her because of that. She is 87 and had a stroke which affects her short term memory. We never know what the truth really is. How do we get her to quit isolating herself?
On the other hand, a lot of socialization is not every one's cup of tea. Introverted people don't need a lot of social stimulation to be healthy.
Was Mom a Social Butterfly before moving to the retirement community? Was she social when invited but seldom initiated social contact? Or did she gt along fine with little social contact?
Aside from meals, does she participate in any activities? Bingo? Crafts? A bus trip to the mall? Anything?
Frankly, when I wind up in a retirement community or ALF or NH, I hope I'll be able to afford to have some of my meals delivered to my room. I definitely do not need nor would I thrive on a social setting three times a day. On the other hand, if I holed up in my room and never came out, I hope someone would investigate that and keep me from being totally isolated.
Sigh. It is never easy when one size does not fit all, is it? You need to be guided by what you know of your mother's past socializing history, how her memory loss is impacting her personality, and what is available to her. You are a loving child to be concerned. As you work this out, please let us know how things are going. We learn from each other.
She's 94 and I think some people hit a certain age and socializing is just too much trouble. Her short-term memory is gone, so I think she's embarrassed knowing that she repeats herself endlessly. So if your mom is happy (or as happy as she can be with her OCD, narcissism and other issues), I'd say let her be.
Do the "friends" she used to socialize with come and visit her often?
I know that you are trying to do what is good for Mom, but you can only work with the material you are given.