She insists that she takes her own baths and just took one, which of course she didn't. She cannot get out of the tub on her own. She will only bathe....has never taken a shower. I have tried everything. I have her tub set up with shower chair and removable shower head with hose.
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/how-to-help-with-bathing-and-personal-hygiene-top-tips-from-caregivers-212010.htm
It may need to be sponge baths for your Mom. It may also be time for her PoA to read the document to see what activates the authority -- if she has a PoA and they are already active in taking over management of her affairs.
That way she'll feel safe and you'll know that she's actually clean because you cleaned her yourself.
I would have to help my late husband into his walk in shower, sit him down and then wash him up real good, and then again help him out and dry him off.
And yes I always got a little wet in doing so, but at least my husband got his needed showers and he felt safe with me right there.
And of course if you're not comfortable bathing your mom, you can always hire an aide to come at least twice a week to do so, and then use the extra large body wipes and waterless shampoo caps for the in-between.
Is she cold? Get a space heater.
Is the stream of water too forceful? Get a hand held unit she can control.
Is the shower floor slippery? Get her water shoes from Amazon. This was my mother's problem and once the water shoes were put on, she was fine.
One woman was scared of the mirrors and being seen naked in them. Cover up the mirrors with towels.
If you can figure out what the issue is and fix it, then set 2 days a week for showers and don't ask.....just say Lets Go Mom, Time To Shower. No choices. Tell her the doctor ordered daily showers if she insists she took one yesterday. Tough love, be firm but insistent yourself.
If all else fails, hire a bath aide whos EXPERIENCED giving showers to elders with dementia.
Good luck to you.
My aunt would fib that she sponge bathed. I knew it wasn't true because you smelled her.
When her neighbor would visit, she would want to sit and be social, and smelly.
Afterwards, I couldn't take it, and told her, I was getting her bath ready. She went to her room, shut the door, jumped in the bed, and threw the covers over her head. I don't believe I saw her spring so fast. She just wouldn't listen to me andwouldn'tlet me bathe her. Probably about three times I had luck.
So now my cousin has help coming, and since the help isn't family, I think the caregiver is having better luck than I did. Sometimes it takes an outsider that they'll listen to.
Chances are she also needs help toileting as well.
"Mom, I have your bath ready" Then you bring her into the bathroom and help her.
If you think about how many steps there are to getting a bath or shower ready then actually taking the bath or shower and "we" do it all without thinking of all the steps.
The alternate would be to hire someone to come in 2 or 3 days a week to give mom a bath or shower.