I'm the only one caring for her, my dad passed away at home doing hospice because of kidney failure that was quick less than a week he passed after stopping dialysis. My mom is so depressed she really doesn't see any reason to continue living, she no longer walks can't do anything for herself. She doesn't want a feeding tube place in her if it comes to that, I feel I just should make her as comfortable as possible. she up maybe 4 hrs a day. She is 78 and has had parkinson for 20 yrs. I also took care of my dad for the last 2 an half years here at home. I don't know really how to handle this, I believe she wants to pass away like my dad passed in his sleep?
If your mom is open and cooperative to strangers in her home, then call a liscenced reputable care agency that can provide CNAs for certain hrs for a fee. This is usually about $20/hr and they will assist with her care, hygiene, activity, light cleaning, etc. make sure you have a contract with everything and expectations spelled out.
Certainly she will be more comfortable at home, but it isn't always the most cost effective or total peace of mind for you like a nursing home where in most cases she is safe, has medical supervision and there is more skilled care. And you don't have to deal with caring for the house, lawn, groceries etc that you do now.
I support you and would abide by her wishes regarding any force feeding. I would however continue to have snacks and small meals, protein drinks, etc available for her. Also, offer to eat with her, go out and if this is too difficult, get carry out and have a picnic, or pizza and a movie, Eric to make it different. Even invite her friends or your friends over for dinner one evening. The stimulation and "change" will do her good while she comes out of this.
This is a tough time for her and I'm sure she feels she doesn't want to go on without dad and she knows her health is fading and she just is weary and wants done....doesn't always work that way. My dad passed 3 yrs ago and my mom wishes to go as well (90) but unfortunately she is physically healthy. She eats little unless she has company or someone to make a meal and be with her...that is very infrequent, but she continues on.
I say, follow your moms lead and try to set up some local counseling or get line up her friends to come over for tea and dessert, game of cards or movie, and you be the caterer/server and let her feel normal again and slowly re-enter her " new life" without dad. Be patient and come here anytime for support.