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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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My mom was diagnosed 10 years ago and my dad has been primary caregiver. They've been married 52 years. But she doesn't recognize him anymore. And she really don't like him and we think she is afraid of him at night. Its awful:(
How much does your father understand about dementia? How is he taking her new attitudes?
It may be that as she no longer recognizes him as her husband he reminds her of someone else in her life -- someone that she didn't like and/or was afraid of. Try to help Dad not take this personally and not take it as rejection. This is the disease causing these behaviors, not the woman he's been married to for half a century.
Would it be better for them to be separated ... for her to be cared for by professionals in a care center where he could visit her frequently and for long periods, but not to be responsible for her daily care? Would she feel less frightened and he feel less rejected in that case?
Doing what is best for both of them is a huge challenge at this point. I sincerely wish you as much success as possible.
There is a type of dementia called Lewy Body Dementia that this could be a symptom of. I cannot remember the exact name for this, but it was listed as a symptom when I was reading about the disease.
Another symptom of this dementia is that they no longer recognize their own possessions. My mother has this symptom, but not the lack of recognition of people - yet. But she will look at a chair and say "Where did that chair come from?" and you say "Mom, that's your chair. You've had it for years". And she'll argue up and down that it is not her chair, someone has taken her chair and put another one in its place.
If you google it, there is a Lewy Body Dementia Association online that has a whole lot of info about this disease. It is related to Parkinson's Disease, in that these proteins called Lewy bodies, develop in the brain. Exactly where they located within the brain determines whether the patient gets Parkinson's Disease or Lewy Body Dementia. And of course, a patient can get both.
And, a patient can get Alzheimers Disease on top of all of the above!
To try to assist with the fear your mom has of your dad try to figure out what is triggering the fear. Is it a certain time of day, approach, during care, in certain rooms in the home etc. From gathering this info it will help you assist your mom and dad to have a better living situation. Once you figure out triggers work around the triggers and try to avoid or engage differently to ensure a better outcome. Also when your mom does not remember your dad it is best to not push reality and let go and go where your mom is. If she thinks at that moment that your dad is a stranger than it is best for your dad to engage her as a "stranger." I would also put a photo/story book together with pictures from their life to use to try to assist with gentle reminders of her life as she welcomes this technique known as reminisce. You can tell through her body language and tone if the photo book is going to work at that moment. You may need to approach over and over again. Always remember that they are leading the dance and we are blessed to dance with them each day. Another way to look at it is to let go of your reality and enter theirs. Wishing you strength, courage and happiness with those in their days gone by, Deanna
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
How much does your father understand about dementia? How is he taking her new attitudes?
It may be that as she no longer recognizes him as her husband he reminds her of someone else in her life -- someone that she didn't like and/or was afraid of. Try to help Dad not take this personally and not take it as rejection. This is the disease causing these behaviors, not the woman he's been married to for half a century.
Would it be better for them to be separated ... for her to be cared for by professionals in a care center where he could visit her frequently and for long periods, but not to be responsible for her daily care? Would she feel less frightened and he feel less rejected in that case?
Doing what is best for both of them is a huge challenge at this point. I sincerely wish you as much success as possible.
There is a type of dementia called Lewy Body Dementia that this could be a symptom of. I cannot remember the exact name for this, but it was listed as a symptom when I was reading about the disease.
Another symptom of this dementia is that they no longer recognize their own possessions. My mother has this symptom, but not the lack of recognition of people - yet. But she will look at a chair and say "Where did that chair come from?" and you say "Mom, that's your chair. You've had it for years". And she'll argue up and down that it is not her chair, someone has taken her chair and put another one in its place.
If you google it, there is a Lewy Body Dementia Association online that has a whole lot of info about this disease. It is related to Parkinson's Disease, in that these proteins called Lewy bodies, develop in the brain. Exactly where they located within the brain determines whether the patient gets Parkinson's Disease or Lewy Body Dementia. And of course, a patient can get both.
And, a patient can get Alzheimers Disease on top of all of the above!
(No wonder I could not remember the word)
Wishing you strength, courage and happiness with those in their days gone by,
Deanna