She lives alone at home. I send over meals I cook. She doesn't like them. Im not a great cook :). Okay, so we got meals on wheels, and she doesn't like that because they come at different times between 10am and 3pm, which is hard.
Now we are ordering food and having it sent. It is getting expensive. I am not cheap, as we are also doing many other things, but it this part of being 87, being ill with heart disease, CHF, and/or mild dementia?
Any ideas, anyone. I feel guilty. Thanks.
Kate
There's a video that you might find interesting - on how you can respond to your mom. It's Teepa Snow and she has a mini series on it. Give it a try. I think you might like her video 2 because that covers the senses (sight, hearing, touch, smell, etc...)
youtube/watch?v=sUgPm8RMa48
There's a remote possibility of another factor. We learned from our neurologist late into the cardiac care process that Amiodarone can cause loss of taste and smell.
Dad had initially taken that before his cardiologist switched to Toprol XL. But the damage was done. He can taste his favorite foods like ribs but can't tell if food is spoiled. And other things just don't have much taste at all for him.
If that's by any chance your mother's case, inability to taste the food probably makes it seem unappealing.
One option is to ask HER to list her favorite foods and tell her you'll try to make or order them. If she says (as I kind of suspect) that nothing appeals to her, there might be something else going on. It might not be a bad idea for a good blood workup by her primary care physician, especially since you write that she's changed a lot in the last 6 months.
Has she ever had chemo? That can also affect the taste buds.
I have also noticed that my father is gravitating more toward sweets than he ever used to. I try to compensate by taking him out to dinner for a slab of ribs; that seems to help and at least there's protein whereas in sweets there's not much nourishment,
Hope you find some solutions.
She cannot cook for herself. My food is awful to her (I don't blame her :) ... meals on wheels tastes bad ... don't know what to do.
of years. And if you ask me you should always include dumplings! Does your brother now take care of feeding your Mother? Does he warm her dishes? If not perhaps you can work something out with the proprietors of the Chinese restaurant . Something like her food will be delivered at a certain time every day, and in a specific container and at a temperature at which it is ready to be eaten, and then all that needs to be done is to sit at table, uncover the containers, and dig in. This will be accompanied by hot tea and can be followed up with a nice sliced orange and her daily fortune cookie. I don't know where your mother lives but I can see giving this a chance, with perhaps the proviso that one day a week there will be a meal of another sort: a fresh tuna salad sandwich or a grilled cheese sandwich, with a side of fresh cole slaw. Please consider something creative like this to see that your mother continues to enjoy eating and enjoy those things that life still has to offer her. Good luck and God bless.