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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Hm, start with this, when you plan something fun, allow her to have some input. Otherwise she ends up feeling like she is being controlled - be her own child no less. People cry when they are sad or hurt. Perhaps she is not going to be easy to get along with most of the time, but give her some sense of control of her own life - even if you have to fake it.
My mother has been asked to leave our house on more than one occassion because of her "needling" and crying and abusive behavior toward me, my husband and my children. My family can no longer stand tohave her around due to her basic anger and bad behavior. Now, she can't understand why no one want her to come over and why my kids don't call her because of they were "good" grandchildren, they would want to call their grandmother. I have told her repeatedly that they do not enjoy being cut down at every turn, and seeing cry and complain is not a happy experience for them. She consistantly crys "why am I doing this to her" and "I am her mother and shouldn't talk to her like that", etc... She has threatened to "call the police" on me ... threatened to "take my kids away from me" and even "forbade" us to go on vacation last summer because we didn't invite her to go with us... I do feel guilty, as you do, but my family is miserable when she is around. I still do everything for her, such as her laundry, her pills,taking her to doctor appts, buying her groceries and taking her out on Sundays, but my family will only participate on the rare occasion and that is only to make me happy, cuz being around her makes them all unhappy. I understand your guilt, but I know that none of us need to be made to feel worthless and that is how she treats us. It is though we are her slaves and we show bow to her every demand. She wants to know why we don't hug her and tell her how sorry we are when she cries, but since she cries ALL the time, it has become something to endure but certainly nothing to sympathize about. She has been on every anti-depressant known to man, refuses to see a psychiatrist and feels like I should be the one to make her happy. It is a chore to be around her and I dread it more and more every time I need to be with her. If I plan something fun, like going out to lunch or going to a movie, she will find something wrong with the route I have chosen to take, or something, and then wind up crying through the lunch (at a restaurant, no less), and then doesn't get why we don't want to go out with her... It feels very hopeless at this point.. I feel happy on her good days and think that she "has seen the light", but then by the next phone call, I'm back to being "a terrible daughter" and I could I "be so mean" to her...
You don't have to be abused. Is this new behavior? If so, dementia could be causing this and she needs to be diagnosed properly. There are medications that help many people.
If this is just the same old behavior, stand up for yourself and let her know that you want to be part of her life but you won't be abused. You don't have to feel guilty about that.
Much depends, here, on what the underlying issues are. Keep checking back. Many people here have had similar issues. Carol
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I do feel guilty, as you do, but my family is miserable when she is around. I still do everything for her, such as her laundry, her pills,taking her to doctor appts, buying her groceries and taking her out on Sundays, but my family will only participate on the rare occasion and that is only to make me happy, cuz being around her makes them all unhappy.
I understand your guilt, but I know that none of us need to be made to feel worthless and that is how she treats us. It is though we are her slaves and we show bow to her every demand. She wants to know why we don't hug her and tell her how sorry we are when she cries, but since she cries ALL the time, it has become something to endure but certainly nothing to sympathize about. She has been on every anti-depressant known to man, refuses to see a psychiatrist and feels like I should be the one to make her happy.
It is a chore to be around her and I dread it more and more every time I need to be with her. If I plan something fun, like going out to lunch or going to a movie, she will find something wrong with the route I have chosen to take, or something, and then wind up crying through the lunch (at a restaurant, no less), and then doesn't get why we don't want to go out with her...
It feels very hopeless at this point.. I feel happy on her good days and think that she "has seen the light", but then by the next phone call, I'm back to being "a terrible daughter" and I could I "be so mean" to her...
If this is just the same old behavior, stand up for yourself and let her know that you want to be part of her life but you won't be abused. You don't have to feel guilty about that.
Much depends, here, on what the underlying issues are.
Keep checking back. Many people here have had similar issues.
Carol