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Our caseworker said my Mother with dementia would not do well in an adult day program or assisted living because of her aggressive behavior. I don't understand because my mother is not aggressive at all. We were told that if she were to go into an assisted living home she would be sedated the whole time. Does anyone know if this is true? Please need help now!


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I don't know your mother, so don't know if she is aggressive. Did the caseworker give any reason that he/she labeled your mother as aggressive? I don't believe that assisted living places would keep her sedated, because people generally have to be performing at a certain level to live there. There could, of course, be exceptions. People who are not performing to that level would need to go to nursing facilities or other places that are monitored more carefully. I do not know a lot about nursing homes. I've heard some will sedate problem clients, but I don't know how much is true and how much is myth. Someone who knows more about these facilities could provide better information.
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Wires do get crossed, sometimes… Did you ask the caseworker what made her describe your mother's behaviour as aggressive? I think you're at least owed an explanation and examples of what she's talking about, if it's a description you can't recognise.
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Fruity, it sounds like there is a lot of back story here. How does mom come to have a caseworker? Where is she living now? Has she been evaluated by a geriatric psychiatrist ? Have any meds been tried?

Is the caseworker suggesting an alternate placement ? What would that be?

Just so you understand, only a doctor or Nurse Practioner can write a prescription . Facilities don't medicate patients without specific orders from a doctor.
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In some states, only doctors can prescribe which setting is best for a patient, such as Memory Care Assisted Living, Regular Assisted Living, Nursing Home. Did she mean that your mom needed a Memory Care assisted living? It's different from regular assisted living and is designed for people who have substantial need for more assistance in their daily life, but not the skilled nursing care that a nursing home requires.

Most Memory Care facilities have patients who act out occasionally. Dementia units would be empty if only well behaved, full compliant, cooperative patients were allowed.

I don't think it's legal to restrain residents with drugs or anything else.

Memory Care staff are trained to work with the patient. The doctors prescribe medication to treat anxiety, delusions, etc. that dementia patients have. Sometimes that also calms the aggression. If the resident is too aggressive, I think they are sent to a psychiatric hospital.

I would research the options in your state and see what is available.
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Fruityloops62, it could be that the Case Manger sees something in your Mom's current personality that maybe you are not seeing if you are her full time caregiver. Does your Mom get to go out in public or be around a lot of family during the day? Are you able to take her out to eat or shopping? How does she react to other people?
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