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She has a runny nose and doesn't like to eat the same foods she always has. She developed dementia five years ago. She is 77.


Her teeth keep falling out and now she has dentures.


She doesn't like to talk and only answers questions with one word answers. Recently she has started gasping for air after she speaks.


Today she seemed unsteady on her feet and kept staring at me with a blank look.


I guess my question is, how much longer does this disease go on. It has robbed her of so much. I've been watching her decline for five years and now have finally reached a point where I can't watch this alone anymore. Please send me your advice and connect with me if you would like to discuss a similar situation that you may be facing in your life.

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Can you ask that she be seen by a Speech Therapist who can evaluate her swallowing to prevent aspiration.
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Hana, bananas are one of the allowable foods on a dysphagic diet; they can be eaten by someone with a swallowing disorder. The fact that your mother won't eat anything else other than water may be a sign that she's having too much trouble eating.

Water needs to be thickened, so if she does have dysphagia, she's gambling on drinking straight water. I would try to get a speech pathologist involved; it can be determined by watching and feeling the throat if there are swallowing issues, then the speech pathologist could order a videoscopic swallow study to determine if that's the issue.

There are diets for someone with dysphagia in more restrictive stages.
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Also, I'm almost positive my father will dismiss the idea of hospice. He's a stubborn Irish man, but when the time is right, I will mention it and maybe do my own research on it.
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Thank you all for your comments. Since I posted this in May, my mother has overcome her cold. Unfortunately, she fractured her foot when she was getting up out of her chair at daycare. It's a small fracture and they decided not to put a cast on it because it might actually cause her to fall again.

On the bright side, I went over the other day and she was the most talkative I had seen her in over a year. She smiled and greeted me and was conversational. It was almost normal.

But this disease so unpredictable. This week, we can not get her to eat. This is the third day and all she will eat is a banana and some water. She won't drink her Ensure. She holds the food in her spoon and says she is eating but won't open her mouth or open it for anyone else to feed her. We give her anything she agrees to eat and then she won't eat it. What do you do when this happens?
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In the interim, until seeing a doctor, try making sure she is sitting up and use thickened (applesause thick) liquids.
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kwdw, Yes, get yourself some help!! Visit with your Mom about it again. Sometimes explaining how important it is for you, the caregiver to have some respite and help, does help our loved ones realize the necessity of outside help!
If that does not work, just tell her that xxx will be there to clean or whatever and that this will be the norm.!! God WILL grant you the patience and strength you need. One day at a TIme. I will be praying for you and your Mom. It must be difficult for her, too!
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My mom is 92 and was recently diagnosed with dementia. I think it's been coming on for a few years but I didn't realize it (or maybe didn't want to accept it) but I did finally take her to be tested as her behavior became dramatically different over the last few months after starting to take gabapentin for her neuropathy. She has so many medical issues going on and it's so very difficult to see them decline. Dementia seems to speed up the descent so quickly. I work full time and am the caregiver and yes, it's exhausting. I'm trying to bring some help in a couple of days a week but my mom doesn't want it. We reach a point when there's no choice.....sheer exhaustion. I struggle with the whole concept of death anyway so this will be very difficult for me when it happens. Mom's been living with me for almost 12 years but the last two have been super hard. I hope God grants me more patience and strength.
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Have her checked for Myashenia Gravis. My stepfather had it and had all those symptoms.They have medication that eases the symptoms.
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I agree about the Thyroid. My Mom has Graves disease. Causes all kinds of problems. One is rapid heatrate that will cause falling. She was not gettng enough oxygen.
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I would take her to emergency. They will probably admit her. After u find out what is wrong, if u find out its something you can't handle then reguest she be placed in a longterm nursing facility that Medicaid will cover if Mom has no money. This is the time to do it. You will talk to aa Social Worker at the hospital.
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Please have the doctor check her thyroid. The raspy cough and trouble swallowing could be a sign of thyroid cancer.
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Hospice was wonderful to us, they offered support and care. I was a nervous wreck the first week, they came a lot and checked on us. The day she died our nurse came in at 0900 put her purse down and stayed all day with us. She passed at 7pm with my brother and I and the nurse by her side. Nothing prepares you for that kind of loss however it is easier knowing I did everything that I could do for her.
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My support group would say time to call hospice. They will help both of you according to friends who have used them. Ck w yor doc.
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I am seeing a lot of great answers! They all have merit. UTI's do cause confusion and I've been told it is very prevalent among the elderly. When your loved one also has confusion, it makes even harder to diagnose. If you don't have problems getting her to a doctor I think it would be the best thing to do first thing. GERD/acid reflux is also a very good possibility with the raspy voice and possibly not wanting to eat. My mother developed a cough and when it seemed to return after a course of strong antibiotics it turned out to be aspirated pneumonia. The hospital did a swallow test and liquids and such were not going into her stomach but into her lungs, so she was put on a soft diet. Low oxygen is also another likely factor. When my mom said she just wasn't feeling good, or just wasn't acting right, sometimes it would be due to her oxygen level a bit low. The unsteadiness and blank stare can be a lot of things. The more information that you can give your doctor the better chance for a proper diagnosis. I remember a phrase that somebody told me. When you see a case of dementia, you've seen a case of dementia. No case is ever the same and the routes can be similar, yet even those can differ in each person. I did finally have hospice come into our home. They were able to give medical attention to her when needed, but the main focus was her comfort. I did not want to go that route when it was first mentioned to me in the hospital, as I felt like I was giving up on my mom. I was able to talk to others who had gone with hospice and received positive feedback. I would also have to give positive feedback. Not knowing the extent of things, I would probably try getting to the doctor, who can also give you some advice, and also put in a request for hospice if he/she felt a route to go. I took care of my mom for 6 years and it did get to be exhausting. Sometimes I would hate myself for not liking my mom...always loving her...but then realized it wasn't her that I didn't like, but the disease. I lost my mom about 2 years ago and I don't regret any of the time given to her. Actually, she left us quite quickly and thankfully peacefully. It sounds like you are being an awesome daughter. It is a very exhausting road, but in the end I hope you will find it to have been a rewarding one.
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I'm so sorry for what you, and your mother, are going through. Both of my parents have dementia. I totally understand your question about how much longer this can go on.. With each stage I've wondered how my parents could continue and get worse. Unfortunately, there is no real answer. Every dementia patient is different and though they all have similar symptoms, no two are exactly the same. My father also has a cough, especially after eating, and he also has problems with swallowing. I've been told this is yet another stage of the dementia. He eats, but doesn't seem that engaged with his food, but does LOVE popcorn, cookies and nuts.. We've been told the last taste bud to go is sweet/salty, which is why he loves these foods so much. He has vascular dementia, and he too, has had the blank looking stare from time to time, when we suspect, he's had another TIA. He will be more confused and unable to verbalize than normal for a couple of weeks, then tends to spring back a little. This has been going on for a number of years, but the last year has been the worse. He's never been a big talker, but is now down to just a few words, only being able to use one word answers most of the time. If you haven't done so, getting Hospice involved may just be a Godsend. We were able to get both of our parents hospice approved, which meant they sent a RN to their home once a week to check on them, take vitals, check for problems, etc... They sent an aid 3 times a week to help with cleaning the house, personal hygeine or just to visit, a Pastor once a week just to chit chat and a music therapist every other week, which both my parents really enjoyed. We tried very hard to keep them in their home, but even with hired help during the week and my sisters and I all taking turns on weekends, it wasn't enough (we all live long distances from them). The time came when we knew they needed 24 hour help, so we have now moved them to a lovely facility with a very long waiting list, but because they are both hospice aproved, they were placed within a month. Hospice is not just for the dying any more. They do much more than that.. They are also there to help improve the quality of life.. It may be helpful for you to contact Hospice and see if there are any services they can provide for your mom... Best of luck.. This is the cruelest of diseases, robbing people of their personalities, memories, dignity and pride.. I'm so sorry for everyone on this site for having to go through this.. It is heartbreaking.
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Have not seen a reply from OP. Hope all is well and that you are getting help.
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My father in law recently passed from complications of dementia (Alzheimer's). He began having these same symptoms that you are talking about. UTIs, difficulty swallowing, aspirating his food and drink. He had to be fed, and started eating less and less. He got aspiration pneumonia. He saw and talked to his dead grandmother. He stared into space. He got weaker and weaker. He slept more and more--almost constantly. From what I was told, they go into a sort of 'sleep coma'. When this happens, death is very near. All of this happened within about a 1-month period.
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My Father went through the same thing with eating and drinking they call it Asperating everything he ate drank including water had to be thickened with a thickener you can get at the drug store his food had to be ground up like baby food .The doctors asked if he wanted to have a feeding tube so he wouldn't choke all the time but he didn't want anything like that he always enjoyed eating :( So the hispital sent him home at his own risk they call it pleasure eating cause your taking a chance . This is another stage of dementia, when he stopped walking he didn't understand what was happening to him . The liquids he drank eventually kept building up in his lungs causing him to keep getting pneumonia, bacteria builds up . :( He passed away in September he also had parkinsons . There isn't a cure for this when you can't enjoy eating and drinking anymore .
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Grandaugher74, this, sadly, is normal. For someone in a late stage of dementia, UTIs are often part of the decline and yes, hallucinations may come with the territory. If he's not on hospice care, I'd call you local hospice right away. Stage 6 means that death will occur soon. It seems to me that keeping him comfortable should be the priority. With the help of the doctor, hospice will find a way help him.

We'd love to hear from you again when you feel up to it.
Carol
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Have you had her oxygen levels checked? I used to keep an oxyometer handy and checked Mother's oxygen at least 3 X daily and more if she was having problems. Is she on oxygen? Low oxygen is a major cause for confusion, dizziness and a plethora of other maladies.
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My grandfather is in Stage 6 of dementia and every time he has a UTI he has hallucinations. Seems to sleep more and has a rattling sound in his throat.
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My father is in a similar situation, and becomes very violent at times, but he still swallows well! I think that when things become too damaging to the caretaker they have to be placed; it´s not our fault that they go downhill! see about getting help for your own sanity! hugs. Hope
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Sounds like you should see a Dr., my Mom voice became very soft and raspy a few months before she passed, However she never developed any swallowing problems, but she did lose all interest in food. Everyone is different and everyone has a different story, I wish you luck and please feel free to connect with me if I can help. I remember asking myself the same how much longer can this go on question.
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And hang in there. We know how hard this is. It is a long, long good-bye. You must be exhausted. Get your mom to the doctor, as suggested, and then maybe get yourself to a therapist??? I did, and it really made all the difference in the world.

It sounds like you are caring for your mom at home. If so, stand up and take a bow. If you have been doing this for five years, you should be proud of yourself. You have done something noble. You have stamina and courage. So, be proud, and now, take care of yourself a bit, too!

Tell us more. Do you have any help? What do you do to relax?
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If she is bedridden or hardly walks, she's at high risk of stroke. If the behaviors are sudden changes that's a good possibility. Also note the younger Alzheimer's strikes a person, the more aggressive it will be.
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Yes, time to see the doctor. Have blood work done, check for a UTI, maybe she needs some meds. But, swallowing problems is quite common. Because this disease progresses differently in different people it necessitates seeing the doc to see if there may be a treatment that will help. Doc may order a swallow study. If it is part of her dementia because of damage in her brain. Are you her 24/7 caregiver? When caring for our loved ones becomes difficult for us it is time to find appropriate level of care somewhere else.
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unsteadyness n blank look sounds like a mini stroke.please take her to the dr.immediately.it happened to my mum,she also had dementia.we didnt know it was. a stroke until she had a major one 4 days later.
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Here is an article I found on Aging Care regarding the different stages of Alzheimer's which is probably similar to that of dementia. https://www.agingcare.com/articles/Stages-of-Alzheimers-disease-118964.htm

As for the raspy cough and has trouble swallowing, you will need to discuss this with your Mom's primary doctor. Maybe it is something like acid reflux which can be controlled, or maybe it is something else.
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