My beloved aunt lives alone and has dementia. Her loving daughters are running out of money for a full-time caretaker. How can we persuade her to move to the wonderful assisted living facility in her community (it would be paid for by insurance)? If we cannot persuade her, how can we move her (she is lucid enough to sound competent)?
However, much as the older generation respects their doctors, I've found that dad digs in his heels once he leaves the office! It's all "yes, doctor. I will, doctor." until we try to actually execute the 'doctor's orders'.
I'd meet with your aunt's children and formulate a 'plan of attack' – if your aunt is thrifty, appeal to that "you paid a lot of money for your long term care insurance and you could be one of the few people who actually get to take advantage of it and live for free!" If your aunt is able to be persuaded by a guilt trip, have her children make the appeal "I can't believe you won't even consider this for me. Knowing how I worry about you and how much I love you, how can you not even give this a chance. You are taking support away from your grandchildren - I can't provide for them as I could if you would use your insurance...). But, given that her resistance sounds 'toddler-like', you may be most successful by just laying down the law. Her kids could meet with her together (to show how serious they are) "We can no longer afford to support you. You must use your insurance. We are going to look at a community today."
Personally, even if I had money to burn, I'd be damned if I'd spend it on aides for someone who has long-term care insurance!
Her children need to confront her with reality or just move ahead and make the plans without her. It's hard being a parent to your parent!
Will she at least go to the AL and have a look?
Depending on the progression of her dementia, she might now be a candidate for AL, though.