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She thinks she can run my life. I'm presently blind in my left eye as nd have no pherifiual vision. But I'm very capable of careing for my self. In fact not only do I not look my age, I have more energy than both of them. I do the cooking, cleaning in my areas, laundry. So, here my question. She wants to controll everything I do, granted I can't drive, but I have been invited as a guest to a meet and greet of a famous TV personality. They have arranged for my transportation and also the personality person is treating me as a VIP.I HAVE not told her yet and it is this weekend.I already know her reaction, because she thinks everyone I talk to I online is a scammer. How do I tell her without a huge argument? It will ruin the whole lifetime experience. Thanks for any insight so I can take this off my bucket list.

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Reply to Daughterof1930
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I would simply be honest.
"Darling daughter, I thought this shared living situation might work for us all, but it isn't working for me. I will have to ask you and hubby to move out and find your own place. I will give you six months in which to do this; know it isn't up for argument or discussion. Just chalk this up to my own limitations, and know I am sorry, but this is the way it is going to be."

Then just allow her to "attempt" to manage you; tell her "You know. Your could be right. I will consider what you said" and move on. Remain polite. Know that this is limited. Don't argue about it. This is your home and you have a right to live in it on your own.

I hope that it will not come to something dire, such as eviction, but if it DOES then you have your answer--your darling daughter isn't grown up, isn't who you thought she was, and you will have to visit an eviction attorney.

Sorry, but the truth is always the best way.

I am assuming you are dealing with wet AMD. Do know that you vision can go poof at any second. Wet AMD is infamous for bleeds that wipe out vision at once and this just happened to my DD's marvelous MIL who is in her mid 90s. Keep up with treatments; take care; prepare for what contingencies may force your moving toward more care. I suggest that the "more care" NOT be your daughter. This rarely works out simply because out darling daughters thereby move from darling daughter to thinking or being caregiver who makes the rules. You cannot be both at once. And if you require a caregiver it is best it isn't your DD.

VERY best of luck. Take care of yourself and your vision.
I wish you the best.
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AlvaDeer Oct 7, 2024
And those stars reaching out to take us on luxury vacations?
They are about one a week now.
Odd how they have so little else to do with their time, isn't it?
Maybe WE are on THEIR bucket lists?
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Prccanal02, welcome to the forum. First of all, please remove from your Profile any personal references, such as names and locations. And so sorry about your husband's passing.


I felt a red flag waving regarding meet and greet of a famous TV personality. Please be careful. Where is this meeting going to take place? If a studio or restaurant, call said places (do not use the telephone numbers "they" gave you) but search on-line for the numbers and see if they match. If the phone # doesn't match, call the place using the numbers you found on-line and see if said person is even going to be there.


If the famous TV personality is not scheduled to be at that location, then something is very wrong. Tell your daughter and son-in-law what is happening, maybe even calling the non-emergency telephone number for the police. You never know what people are up to these days. One thing our own parents use to warn us about "do not talk to strangers". That also holds true today.
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Reply to freqflyer
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I'm going to agree with freqflyer here - while I don't think it is ok for your daughter to try to control every aspect of your life - I do see a number of red flags with the famous tv personality.

Based on what you said in your post - it sounds like you were engaged and notified of this honor online? Please PLEASE be aware of how frequently people of any age are scammed online with 'honors" like this. I'll ask you a few questions.

Is this celebrity scheduled to be in your town on that date? Or are they providing air fare and hotel for you to come to them?

What is the reason that you are being honored with this visit? Why did they say that you received this award? Did you enter a contest? Or was this just out of the blue?

What are the logistics of this "lifetime experience"? Who is reaching out to you?

I'm not trying to make less of what you believe is an exciting opportunity. But in this case - if your daughter is concerned - I believe it may be for very good reason.

My mother is completely self sufficient. So is my DH. So are my daughters. But if one of them called and said that their favorite celebrity reached out and wants to meet them and is paying all expenses - I would FREAK OUT entirely because I would be worried that they were being scammed or worse..that they were being kidnapped and I would never see them again.
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Reply to BlueEyedGirl94
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She should be worried, you put your entire name and location on the internet, that makes you an easy target.

Please follow frequentflyers advice to confirm this isn't a scam.

Be thankful that they are willing to help you and have a sit down talk about boundaries and expectations, it will help all of you.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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This is the most obvious scam ever. You seem almost unimaginably naive about the realities of modern day safety. I think this may be a joke post.
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AlvaDeer Oct 7, 2024
Ha, glad you said it and not me.
I just now go along pretending that all of this is real, and not a reality show.
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This sort of thing also works to catch wanted criminals. Even our little county pulled it to get some people to "turn themselves in".
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JoAnn29 Oct 7, 2024
True
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I am 75 and I would hope my girls never try to run my life. My DH doesn't even do that.

Does your daughter not work because she cares for her husband? Problem with that, neither will have any quarters for Social Security when the time comes to retire. If she cares for her husband, it would be better to see if husband qualifies for in home help and she gets paid or Medicaid supplies an aide and she goes back to work.

You need to tell daughter that you are allowing her to live in your home. You are a grown adult and only 71, that is not elderly. You are still capable of running your life.

I agree with the others, this TV celebrity thing maybe a scam. If so, they are looking for money that you probably can ill afford to lose. Be careful.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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If this post is legitimate, which I doubt, DO*NOT*DO*THIS*THING.
But thank you for the reminder of how easy it is for lonely people to become prey.
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Reply to Peasuep
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If you can reliably take care of yourself, (and people can at your age),
this is the time you would be hiring an escort/security guard/driver to attend the event with you.

It is not unusual for people living the lifestyle of the entertainment industry to travel in these circles.

When is the event?
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AlvaDeer Oct 7, 2024
This is a really common scam. It is talked of almost everywhere. I think AARP almost certainly will have info on it and they have a hotline for calls regarding fraud and scams. Number is 877 908 3360.
Our OP might wish to call that before buying her ballgown for the Oscars.
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Just ask your daughter to go with you, because women shouldn't travel alone to unknown places these days, to meet strangers, even if they're well known celebrities. You'll feel more relaxed knowing someone who loves you is accompanying you, and your daughter will feel more relaxed knowing her mom won't be alone. It's just safer that way. Your daughter loves you and wants what's best for you, try to remember that.

Have FUN!
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AlvaDeer Oct 8, 2024
And don't send money to anyone.
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I hope the celebrity event is an amazing thing and not a scam but is it too much of a risk without further third-party confirmation. Please check with trusted parties before going. As for your daughter, try to have a peaceful conversation discussing roles, limits and the fact that you are capable. If it’s gone past this and can’t be done without an argument then a counselor, minister maybe if both parties are in agreement but try to find someone you both can agree as a mediator if communication between you too is not possible without a fight. A good mediator will help get everyone’s concerns addressed and hopefully help begin a continuing peaceful conversation and possibly improve your relationship with your daughter. You don’t get to choose your family but there’s something to be said about it as well. 🤞
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Reply to ToomuchloveFlGa
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AlvaDeer Oct 8, 2024
Toomuch, This is not only a scam, but it is currently one of the biggest scams going on out there. Please, and I say this for YOUR SAKE, get educated about scams and fraud. AARP has just about the best stuff online to tell you about common scams. Look up "celebrity personality scams". Please educate yourself so that you are armed against the fraudsters who will come at you!
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I noticed the OP never returned to answer any questions, it's been 10 days. We seem to be getting quite of few "drive-by" new postings lately.... (sigh).
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AlvaDeer Oct 15, 2024
That's exactly what I say. Drive-by posters.
On the other hand I am heartened that today I got to compliment TWO members for participating and commenting on our own suggestions. So heartening.

Whether our OP comes back or not this post is an excellent warning about the Celebrity Scam. Because no, freqflyer, lovely as we ARE, Brad Pitt doesn't want to meet us. Even George Clooney is taken.
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