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My mom has been living in an Assisted Living home for a year now. She's had her ups and down. She lived with me for a month while she was on one of her "down" moments. The Dr's adjusted her medication and her volatility and aggression subsided. She was able to go back to living at the Assisted Living facility. She loves it there and has been there for a few month again now. Lately, she is refusing to take her meds. Will take the morning dose but refuse the evening, or vice versa. I'm desperate for some suggestions on getting her to take the meds. It has never been an issue before but the last week or so she's been missing either her morning and evening meds.

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I did care giving for work for ten yrs, mostly demtia clients. Some times you have to trick them. And use little mind games.

I had a wonderful sweet lady, for a while she wouldn't take her meds. She would tell me, no because " they" set you up to this. Finally I looked down really sad. Told her she was right " they" did set me up. But if you don't take your meds , " they" won't let me come anymore.
She popped those pills so quick, and I really never had the problem again.
Good luck, we all need it, I'm knee deep in my mothers care right now.
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Ask the doctor if the meds come in liquid form or can be ground up and put into applesauce or yogurt, like we did with my mother. Also ask mom why she's refusing.....if she can tell you, you may be able to talk her down from the paranoia or whatever it is that's causing her concern. You can also tell her the truth....that if she loves this AL and wants to continue living there, she's required to take her prescribed meds. Repeat as necessary.

Good luck to you.
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AlvaDeer Feb 5, 2024
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I just read a memoir (Requiem for my Mother) that was so disturbing in the way that the Mother's care became the daughter's life, and a destructive force in it despite the mother's being in placement. At some point the author mentioned that she and friends were discussing the longeivity in our nation, and its consequences for all, and she suggested perhaps it was a good idea to go OFF ALL MEDICATIONS at age 84. Or at some point.
Your post made me remember that.

72 is quite young. But given HOW some of our loved ones are forced to live, I myself begin to wonder if medicating and treating ourselves to live is truly a good idea.

Good luck and I hope you will find a way that helps.
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Not sure about your state law, but we were able to obtain a "crush" order from her doctor. It allows the caregiver to mix crushed meds in with food or drink.
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My mom did that. It didn't stop there. Months went by and she could no longer use the TV, her phone, the microwave, the thermostat. I finally had no choice but to put her in a full time facility. For now you could ask the doctor to adjust the dose where she only had to take the morning dose.
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I doubt she can long stay in ALF and memory care may be needed.
They usually have the best tricks for getting the medication on board; I would speak to them because different things work for different people.
I wish you the best.
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