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No kids, divorced, no savings, only about $1000 Social Security. He is on Medicaid. Mid stage dementia. Ok with ADLs but much confusion, aphasia, and only occasionally aware of his deficits. Dementia runs in the family but he was also in intensive care with a TBI some decades ago. My other brother-in-law (LL) offered to take him in as he has a spare room and could use rent to afford his mortgage and taxes. That lasted a month as LL's wife, who is not emotionally stable, said she couldn't live with JL and LOCKED HIM OUT. Obviously not a safe situation and JL was was well aware of my sister-in-law's hostility. So now he is with my husband (retired) and me for a while. Another family member has POA and intends to get him enrolled in a state funded program for institutional care. Which will take months. The hardest thing for us to deal with, which happens mostly at bedtime, is that he is looking for his car. The car is parked at LL's house, currently with a flat tire. After we went upstairs to go to bed, I found him 20 minutes later where he had unlocked the back door, looking out the screen door for his car. Was very afraid he would go outside. I latched the screen doors, but I wonder how long before he figures that out. He has only been at my house for a week. He doesn't ask about the car every night. Any advice appreciated.

The family member with POA, who "intends to get him enrolled in a state funded program" needs to get him placed in a memory care facility tomorrow!
A memory care facility is locked down to prevent wandering. He is already on Medicaid. Just find a care facility which takes Medicaid patients. You can help find one if the POA is not working fast enough. Tell POA your BIL can not live with you any longer - He is NOT Safe in your home! It is NOT your husband's job to take care of his brother - it is the POA's job to find adequate care for him!

JL may need a doctor's referral for a care facility. Do what you can to make that happen.
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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I would start your own search in the area for memory care facilities that accept Medicaid Monday morning and call to see their bed availability and forward that info onto your BIL's POA to get the ball rolling sooner than later.
It should NOT take months to do that.
Otherwise you can have him taken to the ER under the guise that he may have a UTI and when there you tell them that he cannot return back to your home as he is an "unsafe discharge" and that you can no longer care for him. If you keep saying unsafe discharge, they'll have no choice but to find him the appropriate facility to get him placed in.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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JTQJOTSM 2 hours ago
I talked to someone at our county Aging and Disability Resource Center that told me it would be 3 months to have a counselor assigned. My SIL who has POA says she knows to start the process herself as she went through it with her former MIL. My SIL is basically the family manager and last month was consumed with all of us spending days getting JL's apartment packed up. I'm giving her a little grace to move on to the next step. She's also in her 70s.
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My husband has FTD dementia and left one night in the car. I have since hidden all keys to anything motorized and placed Ring cams inside and out so I can get notification on my cell when he gets up in the middle of the night or if he walks outside.
I have since been notified MANY times of him futzing downstairs in the middle of the night, because he thought it was the normal time to get up.
I would strongly urge you to get some cameras set up. It is something you can do now to help protect your BIL and the two of you as well.
Ring cameras are very user friendly and easy to work with. I'm not a super techy person and I found the process very step by step and easy to follow.
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Reply to StandSteadfast
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