Other siblings handle medicine, hygiene (showering), finances, doctors appts, groceries, laundry, meals shopping for clothes, buying Xmas gifts, etc. The sister she lives with acts entitled to this support and always seems overwhelmed. She runs a I home daycare and we expressed concern about my mom being there because we didn’t think she would be able to meet my mom’s needs. I believe my mom would receive better care in assisted living, but Mom is frightened of being anywhere other than with her children. I am beginning to resent my sister and cannot talk to her; she gets very defensive.
Should I broach the subject of assisted living with my siblings again? Mom is in rehab after being very sick. We are all concerned about her returning to my sister’s house.
I am the POA and just worried that this current situation is not workable any more but all my Mom talks about is getting out of rehab and going back home.
You are POA.
So the opinions of others matters little.
On to question 2.
Is your mother competent or incompetent.
If the former, she is in charge. You can suffer or resign.
If the second, she is incompetent and you can have her placed.
Another option here? Since your Mom has chosen to live with a sister you don't agree to, why not resign your POA and have your mom assign the sister she chose. Let her do it all, and relax with your feet up and a cocktail.
Is your mother competent to make her own decisions?
AND
Who is the POA?
Your mother is in charge of her own choices if she is competent.
Siblings at war create dissention for a senior in the very years she needs the joint support of her children, and I personally frown upon that.
The POA is in charge when Mother is unable to make her own decisions. That person was put in charge by your mother and SHOULD NOT BE INTERFERRED with. If that person is YOU, then it is your decision and should not be discussed overmuch with the siblings. If that person is someone else then you should back out of it, provide support to Mom and sister, and just be polite.