My 92 year old Grandma complains that she can't walk, am I doing her harm by forcing her?

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My 92 year old Grandma complains that she can't walk, am I doing her harm by forcing her?

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My 92 yr old grandmother screams and cries that she can't walk or move her legs. I usually stand her up & hold onto her until she's steady then force her to walk by holding on to her hands & walking in front of her. Eventually she stops crying & keeps moving. Am I doing her more harm by forcing her to move?

Difficulty Walking Mobility Pain

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I think your grandma needs to be assessed by a doctor or physical therapist. If she is crying it sounds like she is in legitimate physical pain, not a mental issue. You may be doing more harm and the pain and crying will not encourage her to try again. After multiple issues and PT, I have given up insisting that Mom try to walk as she is just too weak and arthritis in her legs is too bad. It’s not going to happen. We both are much happier with each other. But this decision was made in conjunction with her professionals.

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She is 92 years old and her granddaughter makes her scream and cry. I'd say that in itself is harmful, never mind whether it is good for her mobility.

We asked our mother's geriatrician whether we should encourage our mother to walk more. She said that no amount of walking or exercise would solve her mobility problems. Help her walk if she wants to walk. Pushing a grocery cart seems comfortable for many of the elderly with similar problems, and if she shops with us, that might not be a bad activity. But when that gets to be too much for her, use the store's wheelchair.

What made you decide that forcing GM to walk was good thing for you to do? I assume you sincerely have thought it was good for her. I'm glad you are asking now.

Get a professional opinion on what kinds of activities would be best for GM.

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In addition to the wise advise above, please remember that, unless you have been trained in how to help another person walk and can protect yourself in a fall, you are putting BOTH you and grandma in danger.

Many years ago, my mom was in a nice assisted living place where she was getting PT after a fall. They had taken her to the hospital, gotten all the right xrays. But mom was being very "stubborn" when the PT came, refusing and crying, finally getting up and "trying" to walk. When he saw this, he IMMEDIATELY ordered another xray. Mom had a broken hip.

Are you using a gait belt?

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As someone who cared for my mom at home I appreciate how much more difficult it can be to care for someone once they no longer can walk, do what you can to determine the reasons behind her reluctance... hopefully they are treatable.

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I guess I have a different opinion from everyone else. What you are doing sounds like physical therapy to me. In my personal experience, everyone from doctors to physical therapists have suggest I do similar things. In general, if someone doesn't keep moving then that's a sure fire way that they won't be able to move.

By all means, see a doctor about the pain. But if it's something like arthritis moving around is what can alleviate the pain. Which seems to fit in with what you are describing. Personally I have a bad elbow. When I wake in the morning it's stiff and painful. After I swing it like a rusty hinge for a while, it's all good for the rest of the day.

A gait belt might be useful. Think of it as a handle you can put on someone.

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I agree with needtowashhair. If you are physically pushing your mom aggressively to take a walk this is, of course, very wrong. But seniors are stubborn and will try every trick to not do what’s suggested.
I don’t think the OP is being mean. I think her grandma may turn on the tears to try to avoid that walk.
I doesn’t sound unreasonable to me that the grandma be asked to walk several feet daily. Walking is a skill set that if you don’t do it, you lose it. And the OP stated her grandma stops crying & proceeds to complete the walk.
JMO.

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Stacie what worries me more than anything else is that you are doing this without being confident that you know what you are doing. Stop! Find out exactly what your grandmother's issues are, whether they're physical, psychological, whatever; and get advice on how best to maintain her mobility and wellbeing.

But as a rule of thumb, if you ever find yourself describing what you are doing as "forcing", then don't. Encourage, assist, coax, beg, use shameless bribery - these are all fine. Force is the wrong side of the line.

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Yeah, if the OP is a physiotherapist, or is doing this in consultation with a physiotherapist, I might be inclined to agree this is good for grandmother. Without a physical therapist's supervision or involvement, though, the OP could be causing more harm than good. Grandmother keeps moving because she is being forced to - OP is holding her hands and basically pulling her along. What if Grandma has a fracture or other injury that's not been caught yet? I think a physical therapist should be brought in before this continues.

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As long as nothing is broke having them walk a few feet a day or so many days a week is so beneficial. My mom 91 just loves to stay in bed but nursing home was walking her 5 days, with assistance, walking which meant maybe 20 feet. But the benefits mentally & physically were great. Then a month went by no walking confusion on which department was doing it (I'm looking into this) and now back to square one can only hobble about 3 feet all with help. Your trying to do a good thing just check with doctors to make sure she is ok. At some point she will just do what she wants & will need to accept the consequences for her actions. And then ourselves need to accept as well. Its hard when we love them & want the best for them.

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Here's another data point. It's been known for a while but there was just another story about it on CBS news tonight. People in home care tend to do better than people in nursing facilities. They move around more, like walk, while at home. That helps them heal faster and stay healthier.

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"helps them heal faster" ... IF THEIR CONDITION IS HEALABLE. I think that is the huge concern for most of us, and the reason Stacie posted. Could she be doing more harm than good? Well, yes she could. Get the OK and instructions for a doctor and/or physical therapist.

Most people in nursing homes are pretty bad off before someone decides they have to go to a care center. Many people at home are somewhat better off -- they haven't reached the care center stage yet. I'm not saying the CBS story is wrong, but I'd want to see if they were really comparing apples to apples before I based decisions on it.

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Staying still for long periods of time can cause stiffness and pain. Such as first thing in the morning. What helped for my loved one was getting a physical therapist to do range of motion exercises every morning with him every morning before he got out of bed. The result was... no more stiffness and pain. These exercises can be taught to whomever is caring for the loved one in the morning.

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I think at the age of 92 someone has deserved the right to not walk if they don't want to. Unless this walking is therapeutic and has been recommended by a health professional I wouldn't force it.

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Talk to your doctor about end-of-life hospice/palliative care-she's 92 years old.

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How does grandma get around otherwise? Transport chair? Or is she in bed all day? Are you concerned because she used to lead a very physically active lifestyle but now she doesn't want to walk? Is this not wanting to walk a recent occurance? So many variables involved. Yes, get her checked over by her doctor, hopefully someone who has seen her for a while and knows her lifestyle history as well as her current physical condition. On a side note, my dad uses a rolater to walk. I would never consider walking him by just holding his hands and my walking backwards. Way too dangerous. Grandma may perceive this and thus her fearful reaction.

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Her Doctor will be able to prescribe PT sessions to do it safely and analyze any orthopeadic issues. They even come to your home and Medicare pays for it %100. My mom is 93, and she just needs to keep her muscles from deteriorating so that she can stay at home instead of going into a nursing home. I find that our elders listen better to a stranger, and will work harder during a professional PT session. My advice would be to keep it as positive as you can and try to make it fun. God bless you for spending the time trying to make her better.

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Never force people to walk, espcially when you do not understand what you are doing. Your grandmother is not your pet but an elderly person. Get a medical opinion first.

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You need to speak to Her Doctor, make sure that the problem is not with a hip injury of any sort and then the doctor will set up an appointment with PT and they can give you the exercises needed and of course for any walking exercises you need the assistance of a walker so then she will have some stability when doing walking exercises. you DO NOT want to have her sitting and laying down all of the time and no exercise the muscles in her legs will deteriate and when that happens all kinds of other problems start to happen, but do not do this without Doctors help.

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I think we're pretty much all in agreement that Stacie needs to know WHY her grandmother doesn't want to walk. I've got to say that I'm impressed with my mom's nursing home's PT group, they routinely have people who are mostly using wheelchairs up and walking for exercise -always two people, one to assist and one to follow with the wheelchair. I wish I had known they could do that when mom went there for a respite stay, she probably wouldn't have come home no longer able to walk :(

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My 93 year old Mom had a fall and hurt her knee . She is in a lot of pain but the Dr and myself encouraged to have her walk with a walker which we just got her through insurance. I want her to walk. Abuse of she doesn’t she will lose the ability all together my suggestion is try a walker

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For Heaven's sake...

Hanson, I am sure your mother's doctor will first have examined her knee carefully and ensured that there is no injury that will be made worse by her putting weight on it. So that's great, and I wish your mother a full recovery.

But before we suggest that the OP try anything, it is very important that the OP too gets professional advice.

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Yes, there may be a physical problem that you should have checked. But good for you for trying to encourage your grandmom to walk. If you haven't already been to the doctor ask her what is bothering her. Tell her grandmom I don't understand and I want to help. Does it hurt just to stand etc. I'm a big advocate to give them a big smile and telling them you love them and a hug before doing anything. Maybe ask her if she wants to dance instead of saying walking.

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So many good thoughts here, so i thought I’d inject just a note of levity. Don’t underestimate the power of helpful hunky young men to an elderly woman. Mom will work her tail off without complaining when her PT partner is a hunky young man instead of me. There was a period where she was falling when she got out of bed and we had to call the fire department 3 different nights before we figured out a fix. Four to five lovely, compassionate, muscular, hunky young men gently lifted her back into bed, voicing concern that she was okay and assuring her they were always available. She’d be in a good mood for a couple of days. LOVED the attention from such vibrant youngsters! So ... maybe hire a hunky orderly-type guy to help her walk for a couple of days and see if it breaks the pattern. I forget that she still longs to be attractive to the opposite sex, even though she would freak out at the hint of anything sexual. I’m not in any way making fun here — it really is a remarkable thing to see and gave me a new level of compassion about all the levels on which her disease leaves her lonely and discouraged.

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I'm in the "get her to keep moving" camp. You could sit on the floor as she is seated and have her straighten her legs out...other things that won't put pressure. My mom is 93 and has arthritis...I have a PT come three times a week to keep her moving.

There is a topical prescription gel for sore knees, etc. that really works. Takes about a week to kick in. Even aspercreme and Tylenol...before walking? Or chocolate milk right after walking as reward?

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Seeking a medical evaluation and physical therapy makes the most sense. Eventually, the physical therapist can educate you and "sign you off" to do the exercising once they have trained you. Understand that improper technique could harm your grandmother and you. If she were to tumble, you might put undo pressure on her or strain or injure yourself. Tap into their expertise.

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OMG Lindabf...I TOTALLY AGREE. I have a really handsome and ripped male PT for my mom. It's a nice break for everyone. A young Huey Newton meets George Clooney.

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I would encourage you to have your grandmother evaluated by a physician or neurologist, followed by physical therapist. Your grandmother may or may not be able to benefit from walking, but only her physician could make that call. If your grandmother can walk, the physical therapist might evaluate your grandmother for use of a walker to aid in balance and alignment.

You might also want to ask the doctor about the cause of your grandmother's pain. An under-researched aspect of dementia and stroke is that both cause damage to the myelin sheath surrounding nerves. Nerve pain (neuropathy) results. I suspect this is an area that requires more research, but it is a question that troubles me, as I think that pain is under-reported and under-treated in the geriatric population. I'm sorry that your grandmother is suffering so much pain. Why is it that old age happens when we're elderly, frail, and least able to cope with aging?

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Mom, 100 years old, doesn't like to exercise. I would love to take her in the hallway and have her walk with her walker 20 to 50 feet a day. It would be good for her blood pressure as well as heart and joint health. She says no. I listen to her. She gets exercise going to the bathroom, standing while putting on make-up and brushing her teeth, she walks with her legs going to meals in the dining room while I push her in a wheelchair and when we go to Arby's for lunch, we park outside and she can walk into the restaurant to a booth which is at least 25 feet. When we go to my home, she can walk up 1/2 flight of steps and use a walker to get to the bedroom. She walks around more when we visit at the house, ie, the kitchen, dining room, etc. Mom just resists "exercise." It can be gotten naturally through daily living and activities.

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Your Gma could have a broken hip or a hairline fracture. Please STOP walking her until l you know why she “cries out in pain!”

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My mother is just the opposite of this. She has Alzheimer's and after a broken hip in which PTs we're never able to get her back on her feet, she does not remember she cannot walk and tries numerous times a day to get up and then promptly falls. The NH had to watch her like a hawk.

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My 92 year old Grandma complains that she can't walk, am I doing her harm by forcing her?

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