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My grandma is 87 and has moderate dementia. She frequently forgets family members, friends, and just simple day to day things. Despite this she lives alone and independently, as is her wish. My dad primarily took care of her by paying her bills and frequently visiting to keep the home in shape and take her grocery shopping. Along with this, she had a neighbor who is paid to visit daily and help her with day-to-day activities like laundry, cooking, cleaning. She has proven to be very kind and reliable, gaining our families trust and she has truly been a life saver.
My dad passed away earlier this year. He handled Grandmas finances, trust, home care, and just about everything else. Since then, my aunt my grandmas only living child. She has taken it upon herself to be a daily presence at my grandma’s home, supposedly to help her around the house. The problem is that she is a notoriously unreliable, and abusive, drug user. None of us, outside my grandma, trust her at all. She has been arrested for physically hurting my grandma, has OD'd in her home, and even built a meth lab there at one point. She is claiming that she is now clean and recovering, but we have heard that many times before. She has moved quickly to put herself on all of my grandma’s financial accounts (previously my dad was on the accounts in order to help her pay bills and monitor accounts as she is susceptible to fraud) and she has begun moving money around. She has had to pay for things that seem suspicious (like a $4000 plumbing bill). She has also decided to move a friend of hers into my grandma’s home, who also has a long track record of drug abuse (allegedly clean now). In addition, my grandma is in line to receive about a million dollars from her other daughters (deceased) trust. My aunt is also in line to receive the same amount as a beneficiary of this trust.
I fear my grandma will be robbed blind, if not hurt due to her being exposed to many unsavory people that my aunt is now having around the home.
My aunt is her only living heir. No one else is listed as an executor or beneficiary of my grandmas will, trust, or power of attorney in case of medical complications.
Do I have any legal recourse? Is there anything I can do to legally separate my aunt and grandma? It should be said that my aunt lives close by my grandma while myself and siblings live at least an hour away, giving my aunt the best access to her.

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I’m so sorry you and your grandmother are in this situation. I fear you are correct. Drug addiction is very difficult to beat, especially when there is unlimited access to money. The only way I think you can fight this is to try to get guardianship over your grandmother. You’re facing an uphill battle and you’re going to need a strong attorney and a strong APS worker to help you. I would act right away and contact those people ASAP. Time is of the essence because Auntie and her friends are likely already helping themselves to grandma’s assets
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You say, "She has moved quickly to put herself on all of my grandmas financial accounts (previously my dad was on the accounts in order to help her pay bills and monitor accounts as she is susceptible to fraud) and she has begun moving money around." Your aunt cannot just "put herself" on any of her mother's accounts w/o being financial POA which grandma could not designate her as having been diagnosed with dementia. Explain how such a thing was possible?

My condolences on the loss of your father.
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mstrbill Mar 22, 2024
Auntie could easily convince her mother to go to the bank and add her to her accounts. All it takes is an ID. Mother tells bank employee I want my daughter on my accounts, daughter signs paperwork, and voila, daughter is on the accounts. What OP needs to do now is alert APS of her suspicions and now that I think of it, maybe the bank. APS can work to freeze accounts if they suspect financial abuse, and bank officials can notify APS if they see suspicious activity.
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"Despite this she lives alone and independently".

Your Grandma is living alone. But not independantly. She was dependant on your Father & neighbours. Now increasingly & worrying dependant on the Aunt.

She is a sitting duck for elder abuse.
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You are thinking that you can separate a mother and daughter?
You can, of course, with sufficient proof and evidence, but you had better have it.
Without proof this is simply your word and accusations against the daughter's.

Do discuss with an elder law attorney. Any kind of a guardianship battle would run to the 10s of thousands. Just so you know.
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Tashybebe Mar 23, 2024
Had the very same problem this week. In fact it boiled over yesterday. I was forced to call APS on my own parent. If they are in fact a danger to themselves it’s what must be done. Especially if there’s no POA. As some others have said, you don’t need a POA to be added to accts. I was doing my father’s banking for 2yrs for him while he was sick. I wasn’t his POA. His mental state also got worse and ppl began using undue influence. In good conscience I couldn’t just sit and watch everything fall apart from the sidelines. And You can do the same thing. Google it and it will probably be broken into counties as most states are. They will take some info from you and open a case and follow up. What you shared here is enough. In most states when dealing with APS they do not care to hear about pics or videos or recordings etc. They have their own methods to go about it. I hope this helps. You’re more than welcome to send me a private msg to chat more. Good luck!!
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