Follow
Share

Until recently my aunt was living a pretty routine life, considering. She has had a harsh childhood and has had life rough here and there, which has resulted in being mentally unstable, which she has seen a mental health expert and has taken pills, almost her entire life. When on medication she seems very normal and smart. She is living and has been living for many years now, with her sister, my mother. There have been issues in living life here and there, with everyone having to pull together to get through some things, and until now, worked well. Now out of the blue, nothing extra stressful or hard happening, my aunt went directly from normal to refusing to eat a single thing. We all noticed immediately, seeing how most of her meals came from my mom for some time already. Finally, after about a week of finding every single thing my mom was feeding her still left untouched, my mom stressed enough and confronted her about the issue. My aunt immediately owned it, but stated a week in, she had what felt like a hard knot with pain in her stomach every time she ate anything so she was avoiding food for that reason and agreed at that time that she would continue to drink her daily whole milk and not eat, and was willing to schedule a doctor's appointment for it immediately. Soonest appointment was about a month away, of course. My Aunt is about a month and a half now refusing a single bite of physical food, but has reasonably migrated from just whole milk, to a drinking boost to help boost her nutrition. Now however, she has major weight loss from this short period of time, no interest or energy to get up from where she has laid down due to weakness, not interested in anything, sleeps all the time, and doesn't want to be seen by a doctor. We are all just watching her get weaker and more helpless and wish we could do something to get her help without getting her mad or upset, but feel like we are watching her slowly die, if she keeps going like she is without trying to get help, and none of us are wanting to watch her just die. She was very normal even a couple of months ago, so we are all kinda in shock as we are handling the situation. We want to know if we can get her any kind of help and it doesn't look like it had anything to do with us, for fear of her feeling betrayed by us, but we see her getting weak enough already, that she should have been seeing an expert about this issue already, and may die any time with extra discomfort that may come from lacking enough nutrients. Also, anyone out there with expertise on this subject, can anyone give me an idea, on average, how long a person can live, if drinking boost is the only form of nutrition? Any information regarding this topic would be appreciated as we all strive to understand and get through those very stressful time. Thank you

Find Care & Housing
So she is being neglected. Once she passes, someone might get arrested for this and it looks like your mom and sister can be implicated. Call 911 and get her to the ER. Now that you know what is happening, you can be a mandated reporter otherwise your knowledge of her condition can drag you into the investigation. She probably needs hospice but she needs to see a doctor. If she is actively dying, she can be made comfortable.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to MACinCT
Report

Agree as much as she may not like it and/or protest, at least she may have an idea what's going on; plus it's not all bad to go to the ER
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Beedevil66
Report

Get her to the ER. Do not accept any refusal.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to JustAnon
Report

It doesn't sound like your aunt is refusing nutrition because she wants to die, as some have speculated. She is agreeable to drinking milk and boost to get some nutrition. She stopped eating because of a pain. and a hard knot?
That is not her giving up and waiting to die - she needs emergency medical attention today! If she is refusing (or unable) to get in the car, call 911 and have an ambulance take her.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to CaringWifeAZ
Report

Take her to the emergency room asap!

I don't know what to say about these new fangled laws that allow people to starve themselves to death and refuse medical help.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Scampie1
Report

The hard knot and pain in her abdomen needs proper medical attention. Take her to the hospital ER.
Once diagnosed, she has the right to receive or reject treatment.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to CaringWifeAZ
Report

I'm sorry. I know it's hard to witness a person refusing medical care. It's possible that your aunt is ready to die. If she is generally competent, she is competent to refuse medical care and to end her life in the way she chooses.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Rosered6
Report

Yes, take her to the ER, by ambulance if necessary. Ask them to do a psychological evaluation as well as a physical exam.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to MG8522
Report
Geaton777 Mar 31, 2026
I don't think they do that in the ER since cognitive conditions (like dementia) are not considered a life-threatening medical emergency. Plus, there are temporary conditions that can impact a test outcome so that it wouldn't be measuring "normal" (think UTI, dehydration, etc). Cognitive exams need to be done by a person's primary doctor or neurologist.
(0)
Report
Your aunt for whatever reason doesn't have the sense to know that she needs to go to the hospital NOW. But you and your family do, so call 911 NOW and have the EMT's take her to the ER to find out what is wrong with her.
Your aunt is dying/killing herself, and someone needs to step up to the plate to help her before it's too late.
Tag...you're it.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to funkygrandma59
Report

How old is your Aunt?

What country are you in?

If in the States, take her to the ER today. If she doesn't want to go, call for an ambulance. Explain she is not cooperating with care and maybe the EMTs can convince her to go.

Is anyone her medical PoA? If so, this person needs to take the paperwork to the ER and let every and any medical team know they have the paperwork and will be representing her interests.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to Geaton777
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter