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How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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When my mother had a stroke we watched her personality change. She lost interest in activities and the people around her. She just sat, completely unlike the person we knew. The suggestion of depression made her very upset, but we now know that’s exactly what it was, it’s very common following a stroke, and our family regrets not pushing harder for it to be treated. I hope you’ll get your dad to his doctor and voice your concerns as you have here, being properly treated for depression could make a real difference
I agree with Daughterof1930. Sometimes treatment for depression, mild medication if indicated, can make a big difference. Not certain what medications are being taken for Parkinsons? Some can act as depressants. SPEAK with your Dad. Ask him to go for neuro-psyc eval. Tell him that you understand how hard all this is for him. That will at least be trying to do something. And then, truth told, some elders do not react well to the long slow slide down with loss after loss after loss. There is no upside. With the things he is dealing with it may be the only diversion that relieves him. Remember, we often talk around our elders instead of too them. Try not to speak to him as though you are forcing change. ASK him. ASK him how he feels, if he has any goals moving forward, if he feels hopeless. Tell him some times mild medications help to form a bridge over tough spots. Wishing you the best and hoping you will update us.
Hmmm, I'm not quite certain what you are expecting him to do. He's had a stroke so I imagine there may be some physical, as well as cognitive, decline. He's catheterized and has Parkinson's. We are in the middle of a pandemic where people have been encouraged to stay home and away from others for their own safety. So he's decided to watch TV. So have I. He well may be depressed (aren't we all at this point?) and may benefit from a mild antidepressent but he may just be responding appropriately to his situation. Does he participate in conversations when if he has guests? Does he talk on the phone when called and respond with more than monosyllables? Does he refuse to do appropriate activities that he used to enjoy? My dad is much older than 83 but he slowly stopped being as interested in things he previously enjoyed as he aged. He was very active in community bands and both played in and attended many concerts. He always wanted to attend musical activities at his assisted living. Over time he didn't go as often, he'd make the decision that his favorite chair in the sun was preferable to sitting around on an uncomfortable chair at the musical event. What makes you happy can change, especially when you have declining abilities. So, have him checked for depression but don't worry about it too very much as it doesn't seem like in our current situation there are a lot of activities or opportunities to be "on the move."
Thank you for your prompt reply. Your comments are all spot on as he has also lost interest in simple conversation even with his beloved nephews/nice which he adores. I visit him regularly and our conversation doesn't last more than 2 minutes. He asks about his grandchildren if they are ok and then thats it. He used to build wooden model sailing boats as his past time, work in his beloved garden and fix and restore stuff in his garage. Obviously he doesn't do anything anymore. Obviously his 3 months lockdown in Hospital without anything or anyone during his recovery period didn't help out and he used to be asleep at 7pm
Sorry, don't mean to compare him to an old cat,,, but that is where I am heading. Let him lie around, wake up and look around. ,meow for a snack, and a treat. Let him be... HE IS ALLOWED.... It is OKAY... keep him happy. Know that you are trying to keep him happy.. It will be okay.. feed him what he wants to eat, let him rest his eyes, and if he wants anything more,,,I see weirdly a vodka tonic... (?) why... no reason. keep him happy, make video conferences to his doctor. keep in touch with his medical team and know you are doing everything as right as you can do. play games, cards, darts, etc...just keep it fun a nd light
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
That will at least be trying to do something. And then, truth told, some elders do not react well to the long slow slide down with loss after loss after loss. There is no upside. With the things he is dealing with it may be the only diversion that relieves him.
Remember, we often talk around our elders instead of too them. Try not to speak to him as though you are forcing change. ASK him. ASK him how he feels, if he has any goals moving forward, if he feels hopeless. Tell him some times mild medications help to form a bridge over tough spots.
Wishing you the best and hoping you will update us.
He used to build wooden model sailing boats as his past time, work in his beloved garden and fix and restore stuff in his garage. Obviously he doesn't do anything anymore. Obviously his 3 months lockdown in Hospital without anything or anyone during his recovery period didn't help out and he used to be asleep at 7pm
It will be okay.. feed him what he wants to eat, let him rest his eyes, and if he wants anything more,,,I see weirdly a vodka tonic... (?) why... no reason.
keep him happy, make video conferences to his doctor. keep in touch with his medical team and know you are doing everything as right as you can do.
play games, cards, darts, etc...just keep it fun a nd light