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My mom passed 2 yrs ago. My Dad wasn’t able to live by himself so he went to live at a Senior living community where he would have some assistance. My brother lives in a different state. Dad is now to the point where he needs 24 hrs care and the facilities where my brother lives are cheaper so he is moving him there tomorrow. Daddy will be 13 hrs away from me and I am having a really hard time with it. Traveling is expensive so I won’t be able to visit often and it is breaking my heart. Was wondering if anyone else is in a similar situation and how do you cope with it all?

If you have been very close a lifetime, and enjoy and support one another to this extent, then you WILL naturally have a bit of an adjustment here. That is called normal. This is a loss. There will be some grief for any loss that is absolutely normal. It's something to admit to (which you are) with your brother and your Dad.

Life is FULL of losses, and if this is isn't the first hard loss you've faced.
So you, as an adult will do the best you are able:
1. Admit what a loss it feels like for you
2. Tell Dad and brother you are happy he will still be in access to great care and that now BROTHER will have ease at getting to Dad even if you have less
3. Tell both that you will get to visit as often as you are able, will call, will write long letters.
4. Wish everyone the best in this hard move. If bro is POA he will be busy handling this; it isn't easy.
5. Keep busy with your own life. Birds fly from the next and live good lives with the families they create. That's the norm for all animals.

I wish you good luck. Know what you feel is absolutely normal, has no real cure, must be lived with and lived through. Know you aren't alone. Know it isn't your first or your last loss. And get on with life.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Travel when you can to see him. Stay in touch by phone/email, if possible. I know it's tough, as it's your dad. My dad moved out of state and it was hard because I couldn't visit as often as I or he would have liked. Because of that, my brother who my dad moved near became resentful towards me because I wasn't there enough. I did the best that I could and so should you. Do the best that you can.
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Reply to Tiredniece23
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Be grateful that your dad is able to move to a facility where he will be cared for.
Be grateful that he is moving to a place where he will be close to family.
Be grateful that your dad is able to make the decision to make this move.
Be grateful that it is only 13 hours away. (This is a manageable drive on a long weekend.)

I might be wrong about this and if so I am sorry but....
I think that maybe you are not having a tough time about the 13 hours away. I think maybe you are having a tough time with the fact that your dad is declining and that he is not going to be around forever. You lost your mom 2 years ago and now you are in the process of losing your dad. That hurts!
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Get facetime on both your phones, if you don't have it already, and you can talk with him every day. If you use a credit card, get one that earns you miles on the airline that you can use to travel between his area and yours. (Don't run up extra charges, but use it for the ones you normally make, and pay them off every month so you don't pay interest but still get the miles.)

I know that doesn't really address the sadness you're understandably feeling, but I hope it helps a little to try to think of some ways to lessen the distance. Be kind to yourself as you adjust.
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Reply to MG8522
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You start with being grateful that your dad will now be receiving the 24/7 care he requires and will be safe.
Then you call/face time him anytime you want, send him cards/letters in the mail and even little goodie baskets every now and again.
And I will end with this....be grateful that you actually have a dad that you will miss, as many of us on here were not so fortunate, and that in itself is a gift to treasure no matter how far away he is.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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