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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Your profile describing your father does not mention dementia, however this behavior could very likely be caused by it. Are you able to get him in to see a doctor and be given a cognitive exam? At least you will have better understanding that he is not "mean", he is no long able to interact in socially appropriate ways. At some point his exposing behavior may get him in trouble if he leaves the house or stands at the window or you need another caregiver to come in to help. I strongly recommend you have him seen by a doctor.
If he has not been diagnosed with dementia I am guessing all the other signs are there as well. People with dementia often loose the filters that we use to live in society. That includes exposing them selves, language, not respecting boundaries and that can include anything from walking into someone else's house to saying in appropriate things, swearing just to name a few. If he does have dementia you can try covering him if he is sitting down. When walking out and about you can try getting a "union suit" for underwear or a "onsie" but both make getting to the bathroom a bit of a challenge. So if this is an option I would also add incontinent underwear so if there is an accident it is not a major problem. If you are caring for him this will become a full time job so either plan on getting help in the form of caregivers that will come in or begin looking for Memory Care facility. (If he is a Veteran there is a good possibility that the VA can help and depending on where and when he served the help may be a little or a LOT
Try to get him to a neurologist and get him diagnosed. With a diagnosis the doctor can prescribe medication to try to control such sexually inappropriate behavior, which is often seen in people with dementia. If he exposes himself to children, the police will show up at his door and he will be prosecuted and may even have to register as a sex offender. Ideally, start the diagnosis process before he's in a world of legal trouble. Until you have a diagnosis, I would not take him out in public where he could expose himself. If he refuses to go see the doctor then you may have to step away and enlist the help of someone he trusts to take him to a doctor.
If you need to take him out in public, can you get a coat (raincoat?) that’s knee length or mid-thigh length. He has to wear it before he gets the outing. If he succeeds in undoing the buttons, find a clip that you can put in it at the right length. Coming up to winter, it may be easier now to start the habit.
Get or make yourself a flash card that says something like ’please excuse my father’s dementia’. Use it if things go wrong. If he doesn't like the card, say he needs a doctor's test to prove it's wrong.
For your interest, 30 years ago many institutions for younger people with intellectual disability were closed here, and the residents put into ‘community living’ or sent home to parents. I worked with a group of amazingly tough mothers, and heard them discussing the joys of a group outing by rail up into our hills, where their young adult sons started a group display of the bits on the journey back. They were breaking up laughing at their trials of dealing with it. I was gob-smacked! If he's 'mean', you need to toughen up too. You are not alone.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
People with dementia often loose the filters that we use to live in society.
That includes exposing them selves, language, not respecting boundaries and that can include anything from walking into someone else's house to saying in appropriate things, swearing just to name a few.
If he does have dementia you can try covering him if he is sitting down. When walking out and about you can try getting a "union suit" for underwear or a "onsie" but both make getting to the bathroom a bit of a challenge. So if this is an option I would also add incontinent underwear so if there is an accident it is not a major problem.
If you are caring for him this will become a full time job so either plan on getting help in the form of caregivers that will come in or begin looking for Memory Care facility. (If he is a Veteran there is a good possibility that the VA can help and depending on where and when he served the help may be a little or a LOT
I realize that it is frustrating for you. I’m so sorry that you are dealing with this situation.
Best wishes to you and your dad.
Get or make yourself a flash card that says something like ’please excuse my father’s dementia’. Use it if things go wrong. If he doesn't like the card, say he needs a doctor's test to prove it's wrong.
For your interest, 30 years ago many institutions for younger people with intellectual disability were closed here, and the residents put into ‘community living’ or sent home to parents. I worked with a group of amazingly tough mothers, and heard them discussing the joys of a group outing by rail up into our hills, where their young adult sons started a group display of the bits on the journey back. They were breaking up laughing at their trials of dealing with it. I was gob-smacked! If he's 'mean', you need to toughen up too. You are not alone.