This man sends my elderly friend money thru the mail to her from another woman he says he uses so no one can turn him in. She then takes this check to the bank and deposits it in her bank account then transfer money from her checking into bit coin and transfers that to him. It’s confusing but she says she loves him. This has been going on for the past 8 years. She has never spoken to him on the phone. Has no idea what his voice sounds like or what he looks like. She sends him money that’s hers, he has her checking account number, her credit card numbers and she sold her car and sent him the money. What can I do? I hate this is happing to her and she’s scared she’ll be killed if he gets mas at her for telling him no.
Do you suspect that your friend has dementia or extremely naive to have agreed to this situation?
Does she have children that you could pass this information along to?
Do you even know if what she is telling you is factual?
Wishing you and your friend well.
You should explain to your friend that she's putting herself in jeopardy by doing what she's doing - it's very suspicious depositing checks for him and then sending him money - it's like money laundering. I'd be surprised if these checks he's sending are even real. The whole thing is bad.
She needs to contact her bank and have the account closed and open a new account. Same thing with her credit cards - inform the credit card company and get new cards - and NOT to provide this information to this man - her banking and financial information should remain PRIVATE.
Your friend needs to stop communicating with this man - if she needs one last message, she needs to tell him that she's now bankrupt and has nothing left - then block him. If it's easier, be there as a support while she handles these steps. And she should also notify the police if she feels unsafe.
I hope your friend feels empowered after taking the appropriate measures rather than continue being exploited. It's no way to live.
She told me after, she new he was a scammer, it didn't sound like she new at all. I told her when you know it's a scammer never keep them on the phone. Hang up asap, because the longer your on the more information they can get. I don't think she understands though
I have no answer for you other than what has all ready been said.
It's just so sad!
And this friend? Don't you find it a bit odd that she expresses she is doing something she feels is illegal because she loves someone, but that she ALSO feels she will be killed if she stops?
I think I would just tell your friend that you don't wish to hear about this mess anymore, and advise her to seek the help of the police.
If the story is true, and if she WANTS to stop this nonsense, have a registered letter sent to this person telling them she died. Then she can close down all of her accounts and open new ones at different banks.
I think I would first call my local Police, or crime reporting hotline for advice. Find out HOW to report this eg phone, in person, at a bank?
Being elderly, sitting down & discussing face to face may work better than a phone report?
You know your friend.. would they gain the confidenece to report this if you accompanied them?
They could go to gain INFORMATION before formally reporting.
That's what a freind of mine did with a tricky situation. The Police advised her of the options.. one was filing a formal complaint. This could lead to a charge & the possibility of attending court as a witness. She reluctantly decided against that to protect her identity BUT by speaking up she was given other ways to change the situation (which worked).
1) tell her PoA, adult child or some other family emember;
2) report her to law enforcement and hope that it ends the money laundering, if that's what this is.
If she doesn't have a PoA or any family:
Do you suspect she might have the beginnings of cogntive impairment? Falling for these types of scams and hanging onto to the romantic delusion is a very common dementia behavior.
Have you tried contacting her bank to let them know your concern?
I wouldn't bother warning her first because she'll just alert the scammer.
Report fraud to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC): ReportFraud.ftc.gov