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I think, if this is any example of things happening, that you may require memory care placement soon? I cannot imagine how you will handle this, and of course your Mom cannot control this.
I had a patient whose partner whose partner pulled down her pants and defecated on the living room rug. Later she defecated in a tub and the fire department had to pull her out. I tell you this because I believe what has happened with your elderly mother will only get worse as she seems to have dementia. Some here suggested various kinds of under garments but if the person wants to pull down their pants they will manage to do so. I think she requires placement or at the very least a home aide who will take her to the toilet every 2 hours or so. She doesn’t know what she is doing and simply feels the pressure to urinate and just as she was when toilet trained years ago, she manages to remember to pull down her pants. She may also have a UTI which increases urgency so that should be checked. In the meantime, get pads for your sofa and any chair/ bed she uses.
If it's always on the sofa, just the one place, cover it with bed pads (Buddies or Chux or whatever), or make your own with a sheet of plastic and some towels on top. She is probably beyond change with one of the electric shock gadgets. Does she know she's doing it? If so, a reward (cookie?) when she goes to the bathroom or bedside commode. Medicare is very generous with supplies if you are on hospice (<6 months to live as pronounced by doctor) or home health care (recent hospitalization). If she pees all over the place, then you just have to watch her all the time, even if she wears diapers or pull-ups.
Time for placement. You can try to dress her in garments to prevent it - but she won’t understand. You’ll still be cleaning up after her in a different way.
When dementia gets advanced, it's common for some elders to urinate or even defecate on upholstered furniture or the carpet or floor. I saw it frequently when I worked in a Memory Care Assisted Living facility in 2019. Either dress your mother in an Alzheimer's anti strip suit with a Depends underneath, which she CANNOT remove, or take her to the toilet every 2 hours religiously and stay with her in the bathroom. This won't guarantee she will stop urinating on the sofa, but it may cut down the chances. So will watching her closely.
She seems to NEED TO BE living in a secured area / facility where she can be watched and attended to 24/7. The writer doesn't give any details, i.e., dementia involved? how long as this behavior been going on ? has an MD assessment been made - and when? Lots of unanswered questions.
By the time my mom was in memory care she started going to the bathroom in any sort of trash can she could find. Not as difficult to deal with as the sofa you are experiencing for sure, but she had to be taken to the toilet more often and eventually put in depends, even though she was not incontinent. There was no way to stop her. She just had to be watched.
Be kind and gentle with her. People with dementia sometimes revert back to infancy behavior. People with dementia and memory issues also cannot learn new things, so it's useless to try and train her not to do something. The suggestion about Depends + anti-strip clothing should do the trick, as well as taking her regularly to the bathroom. This phase may pass. If it's too much for you to handle your mother with advanced dementia, consider placing her in a memory care facility where there will be trained staff who know how to handle all stages of this terrible disease.
My mother began doing this at night. We are keeping her at home and have 24-hour caregivers. We installed a monitor system that alerts the caregiver at night when my mother leaves her bedroom. When the caregiver is alerted, she immediately gets up to guide my mother to the bathroom. This stopped the problem of her urinating in various rooms and on the furniture. It seemed to retrain her to go into the bathroom, and it didn't take long.
Thank you for this reply. It seems all anyone says is "time for placement", I refuse to put my LO in a nursing home or family if any sort, as his Mother with dementia walked out aft only 3 months, never to be found and that was
Definitely have her checked for UTI as soon as you can to rule out infection.
If you are not able to have enough day & night help to watch her, then try covering all furniture she sits in with disposable Chux, washable chair pads or both if she is a heavy urinater. Or use towels with plastic under, but that may slip.
Possibly try a commode chair. It’s ones of those that has a bucket underneath that you would empty as needed. It’s not a piece of furniture that you’d sit in to watch tv or get comfy, but possible she may start using it. Is there any way to limit the furniture available to her? At least that way, you’d only have to throw out (or clean) one chair instead of several. Or is there anyway to limit the rooms or areas she can get to? Shutting or locking doors to certain rooms so she can’t go in there? Maybe buying some inexpensive plastic or hard chairs, using pads to wash or dispose of for some comfort. Maybe folding lawn chairs?
So many changes, compromises and allowances have to be made when keeping your loved one at home. Sometimes you just can’t do enough. Please be kind to yourself in trying to get through this tough time
Probably she dont remember where she is anymore.She needs overnight help or one day she may go out the door and get hurt or lost. You probably will not be able to change this behavior.So sad and so hard on the family.
You do not give any info about mom. Is she living with you, alone, does she have dementia (my guess is yes)
Mom needs to be supervised at ALL times. Mom needs to be taken to the bathroom at least every 2 hours. Don't ask her if she has to go, you say "mom, it's time to go to the bathroom". And she needs to be monitored while in the bathroom. Yes this means you stay IN the bathroom with her.
There are "onesies" for adults or "anti strip" clothes so that she can't just pull down her pants and pee.
Do have her checked for a UTI. there are test strips you can get at the pharmacy for a quick check.
And if you do not have them down already absorbent pads for where she does sit.
Valentine15: This is abnormal behavior, but I cannot surmise that your mother is a dementia sufferer as you do not state it in your profile. However, should this be the case, she should be on a regular toileting SCHEDULE as well as wearing anti strip clothing.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Make sure they do a urine CULTURE and not just a dipstick test.
https://www.silverts.com/ca/senior-womens-adaptive-henley-stay-dressed-jumpsuit?___store=english&size=7126&color=8119&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_network=x&utm_placement=&utm_term=&utm_productid=202_SV2067_S&gad_source=1
Very sorry. This problem is one of the worst.
I agree with Barb. First, have her tested for a UTI. Then, if that isn’t the case, I would consider placement in a facility.
I am so sorry that you’re going through this difficult situation.
Please update us. Hoping that you can resolve this matter quickly.
Gena / Touch Matters
If you are not able to have enough day & night help to watch her, then try covering all furniture she sits in with disposable Chux, washable chair pads or both if she is a heavy urinater. Or use towels with plastic under, but that may slip.
Possibly try a commode chair. It’s ones of those that has a bucket underneath that you would empty as needed. It’s not a piece of furniture that you’d sit in to watch tv or get comfy, but possible she may start using it. Is there any way to limit the furniture available to her? At least that way, you’d only have to throw out (or clean) one chair instead of several. Or is there anyway to limit the rooms or areas she can get to? Shutting or locking doors to certain rooms so she can’t go in there? Maybe buying some inexpensive plastic or hard chairs, using pads to wash or dispose of for some comfort. Maybe folding lawn chairs?
So many changes, compromises and allowances have to be made when keeping your loved one at home. Sometimes you just can’t do enough. Please be kind to yourself in trying to get through this tough time
Mom needs to be supervised at ALL times.
Mom needs to be taken to the bathroom at least every 2 hours. Don't ask her if she has to go, you say "mom, it's time to go to the bathroom". And she needs to be monitored while in the bathroom. Yes this means you stay IN the bathroom with her.
There are "onesies" for adults or "anti strip" clothes so that she can't just pull down her pants and pee.
Do have her checked for a UTI. there are test strips you can get at the pharmacy for a quick check.
And if you do not have them down already absorbent pads for where she does sit.