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Its common for end of life behavior. Please call his doctor and ask for a hospice evaluation to be ordered. You mention nothing about his medical conditions and have no profile filled out, making it difficult to give you a response.
My mom is 97 3/4 years old. She has been receiving hospice services for about 1 3/4 years. Since about 1 year ago, she has gone in and out of this type of "symptom" (not wanting to get out of bed, deep sleep for an entire day, not eating or drinking) frequently. The first time it happened, we thought she was on the verge of dying. Suffice to say that she's still alive. So, prepare yourself for the fact that your dad might die very soon or he might not.
Like already said this is very common when someone is starting the dying process, so I would suggest bringing hospice on board now so your father can be as comfortable and pain free as possible when he dies. Hospice is available 24/7 so you can call the hospice agency of your choice and have them come out to do an assessment on your father. They will contact his doctor when necessary. And please don't force food or drink on your father as if he's starting the dying process his digestive system is the very first system to shut down, and it can be quite painful for him.
Sorry, just signed up. I’ll fill out the profile. He hasn’t been officially diagnosed with dementia but his Dr says at that age it’s normal to see some of that behavior. Otherwise he’s in pretty good shape. He has heart issues and is supposed to be on oxygen, but refuses to use it. He hasn’t been depressed. He lost his son a month back. That makes it three children he’s outlived. I’m not sure if he’s just depressed or maybe something else going on.
Your father has heart issues and refuses oxygen, dementia symptoms, depression according to your profile, yet he's in pretty good shape at 97? Not really OP. His oxygen saturation level could be low since he refuses oxygen, exacerbating his heart condition. Take his oxygen level with a pulse ox reader you put on his finger. You can buy one on Amazon or at the drugstore. If he's depressed and low on O2, he can act like he's dying! He likely needs an antidepressant and to put that cannula on his nose now. Get him drinking fluids stat, too. We can live w/o food for weeks but not w/o water.
My dad is 94 1/2, and this just happened for the first time with him yesterday. He actually did get up and dressed and ate breakfast and had meds. I took his am BP and heart rate as usual—was fine. We talked. He fell asleep in his chair as usual. Then at some point got back in bed. I woke him up mid afternoon to get up and at least hydrate (dehydration has been an issue). He got up and didn’t want to eat, but drank a milkshake I made him and went back to bed. I woke him at dinner and he got up and ate well. BUT he did not remember getting up at all during the day! He thought he slept all day in bed! I don’t think he believes me that we had those several interactions and that he was really up and walking around.
Already had a PCP appointment scheduled today and when I brought this up she said could be UTI (he has chronic UTIs). Something else to think about and maybe explore in your situation?
Hard to say. It can be the beginning of the end, or just a flirtation with it. I wouldn’t take it lightly, although there is also nothing you need to do in the moment. It does sound like a hospice evaluation is a good idea. Waiting as long as possible to call hospice means that you and he are missing out on extra support. Even the psychological support can make things easier for the patient and the family. Plus they bring you all sorts of supplies and set up any equipment you might need.
I think it depends on the 97 year old. If these are new behaviors it might be worth bringing him to the doctor to be checked out. Maybe he is depressed or maybe there is something physically wrong that can be easily addressed.
I am currently visiting my father for a week. He is 97 in a nursing home on hospice. He is now in bed all the time. He has been sleeping through most of my visits now, He does recognize my husband and me but he does not want to interact with us. He hasn't wanted any of his favorite foods. I like his hospice nurse, he is very kind with my father. He gives him a sponge bath every day and feeds him lunch. He was concerned that he does not want to eat much now.
I suspect we are nearing the end, but I am not sure. My husband who never wants to think that death might be imminent is of the opinion that it won't be long now. So he probably will die fairly soon. As I have written before this has been a super slow motion decline. At least he is not in any pain.
I would say that not using oxygen is part of the problem. When oxygen is not getting to the brain, a person starts showing Dementia type symptoms. I am with Lea with the pause ox meter. Anything below 90 is not good and under 80 really not good. He may need his hemoglobin checked too. This carries oxygen from the lungs to other parts of the body. "Symptoms: Fatigue, weakness, pale skin, shortness of breath, and rapid heartbeat."
Your father is 97 years old, and has outlived three of his children. If he wants to die, it seems reasonable. Why do you think he needs to be given help and treatment to live longer?
I agree about getting a pulse ox. They are at pretty much any pharmacy, Walmart and Amazon. We keep two around. Also get him screened for depression and make him use oxygen.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
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APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
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This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Good luck to you.
Hospice is available 24/7 so you can call the hospice agency of your choice and have them come out to do an assessment on your father. They will contact his doctor when necessary.
And please don't force food or drink on your father as if he's starting the dying process his digestive system is the very first system to shut down, and it can be quite painful for him.
Already had a PCP appointment scheduled today and when I brought this up she said could be UTI (he has chronic UTIs). Something else to think about and maybe explore in your situation?
I am currently visiting my father for a week. He is 97 in a nursing home on hospice. He is now in bed all the time. He has been sleeping through most of my visits now, He does recognize my husband and me but he does not want to interact with us. He hasn't wanted any of his favorite foods. I like his hospice nurse, he is very kind with my father. He gives him a sponge bath every day and feeds him lunch. He was concerned that he does not want to eat much now.
I suspect we are nearing the end, but I am not sure. My husband who never wants to think that death might be imminent is of the opinion that it won't be long now. So he probably will die fairly soon. As I have written before this has been a super slow motion decline. At least he is not in any pain.
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