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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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In our experience denial was the norm. As a matter of fact when we take Mom to the doctor and they ask her how she is she still says, I'm Fine! Nothing wrong with me.
Same thing here. Our parents were never comfortable with mental illness that occurred in our family in the past, so we have always wondered if maybe that is why they are in denial now - is there a small component of conscious effort at the denial? I'm not sure.
But what I find really disheartening is the fact that some caregivers accept the denial on the part of the elderly person as actual fact. As a family, we don't mind catering to the denial when it is just amongst ourselves. It makes the day less upsetting for our parents. But sometimes I think too much stock is given to what elderly people say in describing their own conditions, esp. when the dementia is new.
My mother always tells the doctors she is fine even when she is not, and she has dementia. This seems to be the norm to me and also she was never really sick her whole life. She is 89 now. I firmly believe someone has to step in and tell the doctor's what the real deal is regarding the elder's health. I don't feel bad doing that and I just say something like: mom, you had a lot of pain this morning and the doctor needs to know this, or you were short of breath today and the doctor needs to know this. I think with dementia it is not totally denial - they just can't remember sometimes.
I beleive the earliest that dementia is found and something is done it will help. I was told over and ove mom had the begining stages. Well she did not. the docotor would ask her how she was. well she said ok, she was burning pots, hiding bills. that was way before I demanded a test. I was right. If medicine is and help is given early I truly beleive it does good and they can get the proper care. Your mom just lost her sole mate just be there also.
You failed to mention who is taking care of her. If the children are and the mother is calm, it is best not to argue with the patient. If she needs to go to a home -or needs in home care - tell her it is just for now. Older parents don't want no's, can't do's, or being told what their condition is. They want what they want. The doctor is the main decision maker about what she needs.
Actually, I find it more painful when she does know there is a problem. Occasionally she'll look at me and say, I never though I'd wear depends. The one days she told my father, I think I am crazy. That hurt more than her saying things are fine. Talk to the doctor tell them what is happening, arguing isn't going to change anything.
Lfrobin yes, I've run into this too with my father. There is no way he would ever think he has dementia, and when his doctor suggested he go to a psychiatrist for an evaluation, Dad adamantly refused. It has been a touchy issue with my father, and I feel as if his managing doctor is hesitant to push for meds that could help to lower the agitation level that Dad sometimes experiences. I suggest that you talk in private with your mother's primary care physician and explain the situation. Also describe in specific terms the behaviors that you've seen in your mother which could be a signal of developing dementia. Sometimes the doctors only see "the tip of the iceberg", and we the family caregivers see the full extent of the dementia. I have seen where others have suggested tape recording or videotaping, if some kind of "proof" is necessary.
I have also learned that doctors can suggest medications to help a patient with dementia without actually saying the word "dementia". The doctor can say things like.....this will help with "memory difficulties" or "fatigue" or "sleep problems"....in terms that are easier for the elder to hear.
Right now, I am the sole care-taker for my mom, living in her home because my metally disabled adult brother lives there too. I am currently looking for a 5 bedroom home to rent because I have literally given up everything that I was holding dear, (home in other state). I am married and we currently have a three bedroom home with two small children still living at home. My mom and brother have a two bedroom home. This is stressing everyone out because the children and I are displaced while my husband lives in our home. I will have to convince my mom to live with us (along with my brother) once I find a place big enough to hold us all. I don't have time to go to the internet much due to all this being new and my searching for solutions and fixing my life to accomodate everyone involved. Thank you all for your comments, I was very happy to hear from all of you.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
But what I find really disheartening is the fact that some caregivers accept the denial on the part of the elderly person as actual fact. As a family, we don't mind catering to the denial when it is just amongst ourselves. It makes the day less upsetting for our parents. But sometimes I think too much stock is given to what elderly people say in describing their own conditions, esp. when the dementia is new.
I have also learned that doctors can suggest medications to help a patient with dementia without actually saying the word "dementia". The doctor can say things like.....this will help with "memory difficulties" or "fatigue" or "sleep problems"....in terms that are easier for the elder to hear.