My dad has been in a nursing home for several weeks now and has developed a weird compulsion to call my phone repetitively throughout the day and night. We are talking about 30 calls or more within the hour. On the occasion that he does say something when I answer, he says he doesn’t know why he’s doing this. I asked if he thinks the phone was a remote control. He does not. I have bought him several fidget toys like pop-it’s and he ignores all of that. I hated to do it, but I’ve blocked his number so I can get a few hours of sleep. This man was a manipulative narcissist all of his life. I wonder if that’s what this is. I’m not going to visit him today because frankly, I’m pissed. I’m definitely going to call the facility to ask that they give him a sleep aid.
The facility staff will make you aware of any emergencies. The staff should not be calling you for every little thing. I always stopped at the nurses desk and ask how Mom was doing before I went in to see her. You should have a Care meeting every 90 days, in my State anyway.
If Dad is calling ur cell, then block him. I have my phone set to "Do Not Disturb" with only my contacts ringing thru. All others go to VM. I really don't see why u need to change ur phone #. That will cause so many problems.
If your father hasn't been in the nursing home for long, he could still be getting acclimated to his new living situation. All the calls could be because he doesn't understand why he's in a nursing home and it's a strange place to him. So he's calling you continually because you're what he remembers is familiar to him.
He needs time to acclimate to his new environment. Once he does the constant calls will slow down. Having sleeping medication prescribed is a good idea. Another good idea would be to speak personally with the activities director of the facility and find out if they're making any attempt to engage him in any of the social activities they may have going on.
Believe me when I tell you that a nursing home will tell a family they're always trying to engage residents and get them to take part in social activities. That's not usually true. What they actually do is ask if they want to join in and then walk away if they say no.
Elderly people can often be like children. Sometimes with kids you have to coax and be insistent to get them to do something even if they want to do it. The same with elderly people. Only in a nursing home they don't have enough staff where they can use the aides to coax and conjole a resident into joining in. The aides have actual work to do.
So it comes down to family to do it. Next time you go visit your father, go when there is a scheduled activity going on. Then attend it with him. This might get him comfortable enough to join in if he has someone with him. You might have to do this a couple of times with him. Try it.
It's such a hard place to be when your dad can't really help his behavior but you are justified in being annoyed by it. I wish you success in finding a solution that satisfies you.
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