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He collapsed on the entrance of the hospital when I came to take him home. He used to be able to walk before this last flu and exacerbation episode that put him in the hospital. Does anyone have any ideas as to what happened?
Kathy, you're right; it's a great blessing that your husband is so easy and sweet to work with; often it's just the opposite. I feel as you do about that; don't know if I could manage someone who was demanding and/or nasty; might be tempted to go AWOL!
Thank you all for you sweet replies. I make sure all his needs are met and that he does not have to use the commode. I leave a note on the door in case some one comes when I am not at home and I tell them to call me on my phone, if no one answers the door. I can run and do the shopping I need to do and then come straight home. I leave the Morphine for him but so far he has not needed it when I have been gone. This all seems to work for now but do not know about tomorrow. I am taking it a day at a time and pray that I can help him all that I can. I do not think that the end of life should be like this. I just hate to see anyone suffer, but with Hospice they are making life easier for him and I sure appreciate all they have done for us so far. (((((HUGS)))) to all of you out there also, with what you all are dealing with. From what I have read I do not know how some of you do it. You are all stronger than you give you self credit for.
kathy - I am so sorry that you hub is so sick and at such a young age. I think he is weak from being in bed, and also from lack of oxygen. I am glad you have hospice to help you now. Do you have someone who can relieve you sometimes as you need to care for yourself too. (((((((hugs))))))
I just hope I will be able to take care of him till he goes home. He is a sweet person to take care of and so appreciative of everything I do for him, and I could not take care of someone that was bad or ill tempered like some seem to do. I do not think I could ever even think about putting him in a nursing home at least not right now as it is still manageable for me. My husband has been the love of my life and he has always been so sweet through out our life together. He has done so much for me in our younger years so except for the shortage of money it is a pleasure for me to be able to take care of this sweet man.
Kathy i think I confused your hubby with someone else who did have cancer. Sorry about that. Your best scource of advice would be your hospice social worker. She/He will know all the rules and can help with the application. Like everything in life saying that Medicaid does not impoverish the spouse is relative. Depends how much money you actually have. Basically the community spouse (the one no in the NH) is allowed to keep the home, one car and all personal belongings and household goods You can also keep about $2000 in cash. Everything else has to go towards hubby's care and that will include all his pensions. he will be allowed a small monthly allowance to pay for things like hair cuts. Medicaid is administered by the Stae in which you live so rules may vary slightly. Medicare is a Federal program so it is the same everywhere. If your Hospice has a live in facility that would probably be your best bet. I don't know how Hospice manages the financial part for an inpatient. medicare has long arms so will find all your assets. You can not gift any thing of value including money for five years prior to applying for Medicaid so there really is no way of saving any kind of inheritance. The community spouse keeps the house till death. After that it has to be sold and the proceeds used to pay for hubby's care if there is still money owing for his care. if you sell anything of value such as a car or boat you will have to account for that money. if you sell it to a child it must be at fair market value otherwise it will be regarded as a gift. It is quite a maize to work through and i am told it usually takes a couple of months to be approved. In the meantime many NHs will accept patient "Medicaid pending.
Kathy, my heart goes out to you. I think you can get Medicaid to cover SNF costs. I've read posts on here that said something like, "Medicaid doesn't impoverish the spouse." Maybe someone else can weigh in ...just in case you end up needing it.
Thank you all for your encouragement. You are all like angels in trying to offer comfort to others and I have sure appreciated all of the comment and well wishes. We just have to all try and help each others. God bless you all. Thank also for this wonderful web site that gives us a chance to get things off from our minds, and maybe get a few answers
kathy2468, hope your husband can use those pedals, it's worth a try. My Dad had those to use after he was trying to recover from a heart attack. He said the machine did help him, so I hope it works for your husband.
Oh, depending on the type of machine you had bought, some pedals can be set on a coffee table and hubby can use the pedals also for his arms.
I am sorry you are having to see your husband get so ill and disabled. Take one day at a time. It must be so hard for him to realize the end may be near. The pedal for exercise is a great idea. Maybe find other things he can do that doesn’t cause him to lose his breath like reading a book or newspaper, or get him a laptop so he can keep up with current events,games or whatever. Good luck to you and hubby.
But when we all come to this point in life I guess the only way to go on is live by the Golden Rule. Do unto others as you would like for them to do to you or something like that, lol.
He feels like the end is coming closer and we can talk about very easily, But he has thought that for years, lol. We cannot afford a NH, but I am still able to get his to the commode by his couch in the living room. He loves his couch, lol. Once I cannot get him to the commode, I do not know what I will do. Then he will have to have a hospital bed and will have to try and just clean him up. So hard when he is still so understanding of it all and fully has his mind so that is good. Wish Medicare would cover a nursing home if it comes to that or maybe when it get too bad I will have to see an attorney to know how to go about getting Medicaid. Oh when you are young how you never dream of this happening.
Sorry, I had missed your first reply when I responded. I'm sorry your dear husband has reached this point, but I agree that he is too ill to worry about PT at this point.
Are you getting enough support to care for him? He may understand that his life is nearing it's close but feel unable to discuss it with you, have you been able to talk with him about this? What does he think, would he be willing to move to a facility to relieve you of the burden of his care?
He is on oxygen and a has a Trilogy machine to help him breath with the Cpacc mask. Do not think he would be alive with out the breathing machine that forces air into his lung. Its call a non-invasive ventilator. I also bought some pedals for him to use while sitting in homes to give his some leg use. Waiting for it to be delivered. I have him in Hospice and they have been wonderful.
Kathy your husband is a very sick man and when you are that sick it is not unusual for all desire for food to disappear. The hospital stay naturally did not help him either as numerous things lead to weakness when you are confined as he was. As you called in Hospice they must believe he is within six months of death otherwise they would not have admitted him. Hospice rarely prescribes PT as that is another cost to them. I very much doubt a PT would try and make him walk initially. They would concentrate on exercises in the bed before they even considered allowing him to stand. it is very important to keep the arms and upper body strong so that he can assist in moving himself. It might be possible to have him stand and pivot into a chair at the bedside as long as there were two people present but don't attempt this alone without PT help. I understand why you are so confused by the many answers you have been give. At the end of life Dr's tend to be overly optimistic in their prognosis. the Hospice RN hopefully if she is experienced recognizes the stage you husband is in. If you really want to know ask her or the hospice MD how much time do they realistically think he has. You husbands gut has been severely traumatized by his surgeries so it would not be unusual for him not to want to eat. there is also the possibility that the cancer is spreading. i did not say that to frighten you but I always feel it is better to know the truth so you can be prepared for whatever happens next. Hospice does not usually recommend or support tube feeding. This could be done but probably would just cause him more distress as his organs begin the fail. keeping him pain free and helping his breathing in any way possible including very small doses of morphine which is used to mask the symptoms of breathlessness which reduces anxiety. Ativan is also used to help with any anxiety. Many people disagree with the use of these drugs and you are perfectly free to refuse to use them. However once you see how much more comfortable you husband is you may change your mind. It is true they will probably make him drowsy and towards the end will probably become unconscious but remember Hospice is trying to ease suffering not hasten death. Keep asking questions till you really understand what is going on even if it is news you would rather not receive. Prayers and Blessings.
Kathy Just now looking at Stage 4 COPD it does seem like PT would be too difficult and dangerous with his reduced lung capacity. Even without walking or other physical exertion he could be confused due to low oxygen. Does he see a pulmologist, receive treatment? I gently suggest that he has received hospice because he qualifies. I’m glad you are getting help and can be with him. Is he on oxygen?
Is she suggesting end of life care and hospice? Unless that is the case I would want to at least consult a physical therapist for their input, the RN may be very good at her job but this is not her area of expertise. Even learning some range of motion exercises can be beneficial for you both, and if he can be helped to stand and pivot or even take a few steps your ability to care for him will be greatly enhanced. Once my mom reached the point she needed a lift I reluctantly had to find her a nursing home.
He was in the hospital for 9 days and now he has been home for over two months and he still cannot walk. People have given me so many different answers that I do not know what to believe. He still cannot walk now 2 month later. I had to quit work as he could not walk anywhere and had to put him in hospice in order to get me some help. RN think the COPD has not left him use his lungs as they are so bad that they cannot supply the oxygen to help him walk. Does thing sound right? I hate to try and make him walk for fear of him falling and maybe breaking a bone and then he would be in pain for the rest of his life. He is 78
Kathy, how long was he in the hospital? When My mom was in for barely 3 days, she went to rehab. The PT said that it typically takes a week of PT to get back one day of being in the bed. I endorse cwillie's suggestion to have the doctor prescribe PT. It is amazing what they can do.
He is likely still weak from being ill as well as having lost muscle tone from being in bed in the hospital. It only took a two week respite stay in a nursing home for me to have the same thing happen with my mom, I barely was able to transfer her to the car and get her home. Ask your doctor to prescribe some PT to see if he can regain some strength and learn to walk again.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Your best scource of advice would be your hospice social worker. She/He will know all the rules and can help with the application.
Like everything in life saying that Medicaid does not impoverish the spouse is relative. Depends how much money you actually have. Basically the community spouse (the one no in the NH) is allowed to keep the home, one car and all personal belongings and household goods You can also keep about $2000 in cash. Everything else has to go towards hubby's care and that will include all his pensions. he will be allowed a small monthly allowance to pay for things like hair cuts.
Medicaid is administered by the Stae in which you live so rules may vary slightly. Medicare is a Federal program so it is the same everywhere.
If your Hospice has a live in facility that would probably be your best bet. I don't know how Hospice manages the financial part for an inpatient.
medicare has long arms so will find all your assets. You can not gift any thing of value including money for five years prior to applying for Medicaid so there really is no way of saving any kind of inheritance.
The community spouse keeps the house till death. After that it has to be sold and the proceeds used to pay for hubby's care if there is still money owing for his care. if you sell anything of value such as a car or boat you will have to account for that money. if you sell it to a child it must be at fair market value otherwise it will be regarded as a gift.
It is quite a maize to work through and i am told it usually takes a couple of months to be approved. In the meantime many NHs will accept patient "Medicaid pending.
Oh, depending on the type of machine you had bought, some pedals can be set on a coffee table and hubby can use the pedals also for his arms.
Good luck to you and hubby.
Are you getting enough support to care for him? He may understand that his life is nearing it's close but feel unable to discuss it with you, have you been able to talk with him about this? What does he think, would he be willing to move to a facility to relieve you of the burden of his care?
He does not have cancer!
The hospital stay naturally did not help him either as numerous things lead to weakness when you are confined as he was.
As you called in Hospice they must believe he is within six months of death otherwise they would not have admitted him.
Hospice rarely prescribes PT as that is another cost to them. I very much doubt a PT would try and make him walk initially. They would concentrate on exercises in the bed before they even considered allowing him to stand. it is very important to keep the arms and upper body strong so that he can assist in moving himself. It might be possible to have him stand and pivot into a chair at the bedside as long as there were two people present but don't attempt this alone without PT help.
I understand why you are so confused by the many answers you have been give. At the end of life Dr's tend to be overly optimistic in their prognosis. the Hospice RN hopefully if she is experienced recognizes the stage you husband is in. If you really want to know ask her or the hospice MD how much time do they realistically think he has.
You husbands gut has been severely traumatized by his surgeries so it would not be unusual for him not to want to eat. there is also the possibility that the cancer is spreading. i did not say that to frighten you but I always feel it is better to know the truth so you can be prepared for whatever happens next.
Hospice does not usually recommend or support tube feeding. This could be done but probably would just cause him more distress as his organs begin the fail. keeping him pain free and helping his breathing in any way possible including very small doses of morphine which is used to mask the symptoms of breathlessness which reduces anxiety. Ativan is also used to help with any anxiety. Many people disagree with the use of these drugs and you are perfectly free to refuse to use them. However once you see how much more comfortable you husband is you may change your mind. It is true they will probably make him drowsy and towards the end will probably become unconscious but remember Hospice is trying to ease suffering not hasten death. Keep asking questions till you really understand what is going on even if it is news you would rather not receive. Prayers and Blessings.
Just now looking at Stage 4 COPD it does seem like PT would be too difficult and dangerous with his reduced lung capacity. Even without walking or other physical exertion he could be confused due to low oxygen.
Does he see a pulmologist, receive treatment?
I gently suggest that he has received hospice because he qualifies. I’m glad you are getting help and can be with him.
Is he on oxygen?
Ask your doctor to prescribe some PT to see if he can regain some strength and learn to walk again.