My husband has been bed bound for about 8 months now. He does not want to get out of bed. What can happen and how soon if he doesn't try?

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My husband has been bed bound for about 8 months now. He does not want to get out of bed. What can happen and how soon if he doesn't try?

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He has Neuropathy in his legs, heart condition and Type 2 diabetes. Vitals are always good. Ended up here due to low blood pressure and dizziness. But does not have the will to help himself. What will happen next. Do I have to prepare for something? He only gets up, but weak to pivot from bed to potty.

Mobility Senior Health Spouse

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I am a Power of Attorney to someone who spends almost all day in bed - nothing can be done to change that - she just won't cooperate. But the good thing is that she is already in a nursing home so they handle whatever comes. Please place this person - they need help and you need relief. Don't let this problem continue.

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I think karenchaya makes a very good point with the neuropathy meaning he cannot feel his legs and feet properly so naturally feels very unsafe when getting up - he can't fall if he stays in bed. He certainly sounds to need PT, and quite possibly an anti-depressant (staying in bed all the time and not feeling able to get out is a very depressing situation). He needs to see his Dr and get an assessment of his current medical state, any medication that can help, and a plan for PT and maybe some therapy to help with his confidence. If he carries on as he is he will get worse/less able/more resistant, but I think you will need an assessment and some medical suggestions/input to help him realise he can be more active and to kick start his willingness and confidence to want to have the best life he can.

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GANGEL: As your profile states that your husband is only 71 years of age, I am not totally sure how he "ended up here," other than the low blood pressure and dizziness, heart condition and diabetes. You may be referencing the fact that his muscles have atrophied due to being in bed for about 8 months, which is no doubt going to require PT to get mobility restored. Imho, perhaps he should see his cardiologist and his endocrinologist, even so if he's bed bound by a virtual visit. Was he taking a medication that caused the dizziness?

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It is hard to know which came first. The blood pressure dropping due to inactivity or the blood pressure dropping leading to inactivity. My mom suffered orthostatic hypotension and it really couldn't be adequately treated. At one point she was on two medications to lower her blood pressure and two medications to raise her blood pressure. Her condition led to lack of mobility and I couldn't blame her. Eventually, she would pass out just sitting up in a chair. We would have to place her in bed with head lower than feet to get her to come to. She had a pacemaker, and it didn't help. I wondered if it masked the problem (or helped mitigate it) early on. My advice is to integrate as much occupational therapy even while he is in bed to see if he can make any improvement. My dad had de-conditioned significantly after a difficult surgery. Then, he fractured his hip. I requested that his bed in rehab have a trapeze. That trapeze allowed him to improve his strength in his core and arms and even a little in his legs significantly enough to improve his ability to sit in a wheelchair and get back to walking with a frame. It also gave him the ability to lift himself up a little while the CNAs were cleaning up or dressing him. That ability to assist them helped preserve a little of his dignity too. Your husband may have a health issue that might prohibit the trapeze, but if not, I think it could help.

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You will need help from a physical therapist and possibly an occupational therapist if he wants to become more mobile again. It can be very hard once bed bound to turn it around. He will probably need to have an evaluation and then he’ll have to have the will to try.

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Maybe I shouldn't chime in here, but my husband is heading in the same direction. He has been a type 2 diabetic for years and now that he's retired, he sits all day watching TV and eating junk. People keep asking me if he is depressed, and at this point I don't care. I have tried and tried to get him to change his ways, and he won't do a thing to help himself. Now he is having urinary urgency and bowel issues, and I'm at the end of my rope.

Sorry you are going through this, and I know how frustrating it is when someone won't do anything to at least try to help themselves.

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Can he get to the toilet in time?

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Hello -
My husband (80s) announced four months ago that he was not getting out of bed, and he has stuck with his decision. Then two days ago he asked to talk with his doctor to restart physical therapy. He says he wants to get out of the bed!
Doctor has not returned calls yet & we are unsure if Medicare will pay for therapy since he refused it four months ago.
I will say this has been one of the most stressful, baffling, emotional, grueling, and labor intensive periods of my life.
Sorry. You don't need me to share my problem. Do know I am rooting and praying for you.

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How much has he done on his own?

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If you are not able to speak with him about how he is feeling mentally and spiritually, can you get a trusted counselor to talk to him (psychologist, social worker, or faith counselor)? He might be depressed.

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What kind of health plan do you have? What kind of durable medical equipment did they give him? I have the same condition, but I push myself. Your dad is a FALL risk and he knows it. He knows if he falls, you won't be able to get him up. Most health plans give, or sell at a reduced rate, or rent out, hospital beds with rails, walkers, and devices that help us put on socks, pull up pants, etc. and there are even devices which help us wipe ourselves after toileting. I had to teach myself how to get into and out of my hospital bed. On the side where I get into bed, I have a half rail which I hold onto and I taught myself how to FLIP onto the bed, as it is hard to move my legs. When I get off the bed, I have to scoot on my butt and push myself holding the longer rail on the other side. Then, I have my walker right there so I don't fall down. I have Congestive Heart Failure and COPD as well as what your dad has. Type II diabetes, neuropathy (it feels like I don't have any feet at all, and sometimes I can't sense my legs. I have to psych myself, saying out loud, "My feet ARE ON THE FLOOR. Then, I hold on harder to my walker, which does have brakes) For the low blood pressure, talk to his doctor. They might be giving him blood pressure pills to lower the blood pressure. That is what happened to me. They had to adjust the medicine. You might also consider having a portable commode (toilet) right there next to his bed so he doesn't have to walk so far. How can you make him WANT to get out of bed? Try ENCOURAGING through SPECIFIC positive comments, in baby steps. Ex: Instead of getting all the way out of bed, compliment him on sitting UP in bed instead of laying down. Tell him you are proud of him, etc. He might also benefit from psychotherapy because men have a tendency to think if they are not Superman, then they are not a man at all. Consider how he was BEFORE he had this heart condition and what a LOSS he must be feeling. He is going through GRIEVING his old life. You might also benefit from psychotherapy and/or a caregiver's support group.

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Could be from current medications, or it could be his thyroid (hypothyroid). If he's on narcotics that is a big contributor to that. Many psychotropics can also do that. Could be B12 level...could be many things. He needs a full check up but that's hard if he can't get out of bed. Regardless he needs intensive physical therapy or he will be in bed for the rest of his life; surprised he's not already permanently bedbound. So either you have to change his diapers and induce bowel movements or he's going to a nursing home and you better tell him that. If he's not motivated to get out of bed, no amount of physical therapy can help and they will simply discharge him as "noncompliant".

You need to find out WHY his blood pressure is low with a comprehensive physical. and do a medication review.

Due to his heart condition you have to be careful with psychotropics.

Trust me life is not fun having to use a Hoyer lift for care. Been there...done that. Now mom was an insulin-dependent diabetic (IDDM) but I incorporated daily walks as part of her routine and she had end-stage Alzheimer's -- still I managed to keep her walking until the last 3 months of her life she simply forgot how to stand and could not comprehend that act. She was totally bedbound for 3 months, and she died age 90 years, 3 months -- due to the complications of ongoing kidney and liver disease from the IDDM. She never was on a single narcotic or psychotropic and truly died in peace. On hospice for 2 years too. I used them as a walk-in clinic and to renew her medications which was not much--insulin and lopressor and lactulose for her bowels. In the end I had to get a feeding tube (only one day in the hospital) and she did great with that so she would not die of dehydration which can take weeks. She died in absolute comfort with all her needs met and her skin was in perfect condition. It was an irony her Alzheimer's did not kill her but her other chronic diseases. So even if she were a self caring, walkie-talkie--which she was not--the same would have happened to her. I kept her sugars well controlled. Good medical management can improve quality of life and slow the decline down.

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Your profile says your husband is only 71 years old. I agree that he may be depressed. Not sure what his heart condition is, but I am aware that after heart events it is very common for people become depressed (or have anxiety). Please discuss with his doctor.

Do you have the financial resources to hire a male for him from an agency? If this person has the proper qualifications, he could encourage him to get out of bed and take him around, a little each day (or every other). He can also function as a companion, chatting and entertaining him. It is very important that he start getting out of bed before it's too late.

We worked really hard to get my MIL into a nice AL on Medicaid once she started having memory loss that impacted her ADLs. Then she had a few falls (because she was pretty overweight and out of shape). So she goes into rehab even though she didn't get hurt from any of them. Then she decided she never wanted to get out of bed again. Ever. The facility can't make her and we did everything to coax her and incentivize her out of bed. That was in 2017. Now she literally can't walk on her own and is a 2-person lift assist. And it's such a shame since there is literally nothing else physically or medically wrong with her. We think it might have had to do with dementia. She was already on anti-depressants. Now she'll spend many years in a facility not getting the most out of it just because she wouldn't get up. We tried everything in tandem with the admin to get her motivated. At least we have a clear conscience that we did all we could. I hope you can find a solution for his situation. There may not be but because of his age please try as many options as possible. In the end, none of it may work but in your heart you'll know you worked every angle. Wishing you (and him) success in some progress!

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My mother had to get a pacemaker for the same reason. It fixed the problem. He's probably afraid of falling.

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Hi, I just saw your post about the pacemaker. Could you tell me a little more about it? My aunt complains of rapid heartbeat and shortness of breath. This keeps her in bed all the time except to walk a few steps to the bathroom.

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Staying immobile will have several long-term problems:
1 - he will lose muscle mass
2 - his bones will het more brittle
3 - his body will acclimate to lying down so he will always have blood pressure issues when sitting up
4 - He is at major risk of developing pressure wounds - the worse those get, the more likely he will develop sepsis
5 - if he is mostly lying down, he at risk of developing pneumonia.

With his problems, it might be wise to talk to his doctor. He would probably benefit from going to rehab to help him become more mobile.

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I agree he needs to get up. Is he a veteran? Call the veterans administration and ask for a home health aid or a Cna to come to your house for 4 hours a day to help you out. He will get bed sores and or pneumonia. My husband is also 71 and struggling with mixed dementia/ Alzheimer’s and we are getting help from the VA since he served during the Viet Nam era. Good luck to you

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Hello,
Your husband may be tired and has lost his will to live. I went through that with my mother. I wanted her to get out of the bed nor did she want to eat. You probably don't see it because you love him and want him to be around. I kept insisting on my mother to do things and she'd say I'm tired I can't do for myself. Your husband knows that you love him but he doesn't want to be that way. Try comforting him have more conversations and hugs.

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I read in your profile you have him in hospice but what is his reason for admission?
it sounds like he's lost any will and is depressed. What are your thoughts on that. We need more information.

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It sounds like he could be depressed..
You might try finding things of interest to him like large print paint by number, put together a model car, work on a large print puzzle, play Cards, Domino's or some other game, Crossword Puzzles.

Play music as music therapy is really good.

Once a Week,, Give a massage or hire someone to come in to give him a massage.

Once a month give him a manicure or hire someone to do it.

Tare him outside, even if it's in a wheelchair 20 minutes a day for Fresh Air and Sunshine.

Onice he has a little more energy, take him to the mall and push him around in a wheelchair and go eat and window shop.

Call his old friends and invite them over for lunch and to visit him

Maybe you could start by letting him sit up more in bed or buy a comfy Recliner for him to sit in during the day.

Then have him start getting out of bed and go to the table for his meals.

There us a true saying. Use it or loose it.

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I would add that Medicare will pay for a podiatrist to cut his toe nails. You just need to find one that will do house calls.

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In short, muscle atrophy. The human body is designed to get up and move, not be stationary for long periods of time.

Since he's been bed bound for so long, there is a good bet his muscle strength is gone. People can be bedbound and still live, but as LavenderBear mentioned, they are totally dependent on others.

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My Mom started out like that. In bed, out to potty then back in bed.

Over time - she became 100% bedbound. Never gets out of bed. It's been almost a year that way... More strokes, more paralysis.

Wears pads/diapers which I have to change and clean her. I wash her, dress her, feed her, do everything for her. She can no longer sit up, either.

You can have his Doctor send out a Physical Therapist to your home. They will work with him and teach him leg exercises, etc. They can help him learn easier ways to get out of bed.

The end result if they are not able to get out of bed ... a Hoyer Lift has to be used to lift them up. And life gets much more complicated for everyone. Difficult if not impossible to get to a Doctor, requires much more assistance and supervision. Worries about skin shearing, bed sores etc. Endless worries, believe me. Much lifting, too.

I hope your husband continues to get up to go to the bathroom, because it is extremely difficult to take care of a bedbound person by yourself.

Please encourage him in any way possible to keep moving, keep sitting up, keep getting out of bed.

My Mom doesn't seem to be able to get any stronger and I'm losing hope day by day. Being bedbound for a long time causes much emotional and physical stress for all.

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According to your profile, you say your husband is under hospice care. As you know to qualify for hospice, the Dr. has to believe that your husband will be dead in 6 months. Now that doesn't mean that he will be dead in that time frame of course, and as long as he continues to decline hospice will keep him under their care.
My husband who was completely bedridden was under hospice care in our home for the last 22 months of his life, so everyone's journey is different.
I would tell you just to make the most of whatever time you have left with him, and make sure that you're taking care of yourself as well, as I know firsthand, the toll that caregiving can take on you if you're not careful. So please be good to yourself.

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After my heart attack and open heart surgery, they said I would have to exercise. I would tell them I would exercise when I felt a little stronger. Turns out it doesn't work that way. You don't get stronger lying in bed. You have to rethink the way it works. Lying in bed only makes you weaker. His choice. You need to tell him his breakfast is in the kitchen, and leave it at that.

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Is your husband on hospice?

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My husband has been bed bound for about 8 months now. He does not want to get out of bed. What can happen and how soon if he doesn't try?

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