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Tina, I am so sorry you are having to live through this. An anger phase is common in FTD. I was very fortunate with my Dad, as he only went through a sort of ornery phase, especially when it came to being "bossed". Sometimes patients in this phase will respond to some meds well, but meds used for difficult Alzheimer's patients can make FTD patients worse, particularly benzodiazepines. Some caregivers cope by placing their loved one in a facility until the anger phase has passed or can be managed with meds.
I highly recommend the FTD Support Forum at www.ftdsupportforum.com You will find great advice and kindness from those who have walked in your shoes, as well as lots of excellent information.
You can find videos by Teepa Snow on You Tube that are super helpful with managing some of the behaviors. She is amazing!
Please don't try to take care of this situation without help. This disease is happening to you as much as it's happening to him. You made a good start finding this forum. Reach out to the doctors and get a social worker to help you find resources in your area and make plans for the future. If you and your husband haven't done it already, you need to get your finances in order. A visit to an elder care attorney would be money well spent. As much as you can, reframe his nasty behavior as a symptom of his disease and not him, himself. His brain is broken. That probably doesn't make what he is saying less hurtful, but he wouldn't be saying it if he wasn't sick. Please don't try to do it all yourself. It's a very difficult disease to manage. I agree with everything Laurellel said!
And I agree with everything Marcia said. Very good advice to contact eldercare attorney. FTD patients can be strangely gullible and/or profligate even in the earlier stages. This is a terrible disease and very hard on caregivers -- rated as much harder than any other dementia (although it sounds to me like Lewy Body might be at least as hard). My heart goes out to you all who have to live with and deal with this disease.
I forget who it is but someone on this board who dealt with a husband with Lewy Body Dementia used to call the other personality "Lewy". She'd say to her husband "I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at Lewy." I thought that was pretty brilliant.
I do have trouble with DW taking her meds which include two daily vitamins. Now with the vitamins I found she will take them since I started giving her the gummys. The others! That is the challenge. Sometimes I have to turn the TV off to get her attention. She has held them in her hand several minutes before taking them. She hates taking meds and any long term treatments. I have even ground them up to a fine powder and mixed them into her ice cream. That worked. But only with ice cream. Pill crushers did not work. The pills are lumpy and she would find the lumps and spit them out. While in rehab we finally just tole her they were her vitamins and then she would take them easily. Now I have to hover over her and keep pushing them toward her mouth. The silly girl will hold them in her mouth until they dissolve and make those awful faces before taking the liquid to wash them down. Pulverizing them and mixed with a favorite snack is the easiest method I found. I used a morter and pedistal to crush them because of the lums she would find and spit out.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Have you considered calling 911 if you feel threatened?
Could he have a UTI?
Does his insurance have a "nurse line" you can call?
I highly recommend the FTD Support Forum at www.ftdsupportforum.com You will find great advice and kindness from those who have walked in your shoes, as well as lots of excellent information.
You can find videos by Teepa Snow on You Tube that are super helpful with managing some of the behaviors. She is amazing!
Also search this forum for FTD more info and advice. I listed some more resources on this one, and others here have given much good help.
https://www.agingcare.com/topics/103/frontotemporal/questions
Again, I am so sorry. Do protect your own safety and sanity!
As much as you can, reframe his nasty behavior as a symptom of his disease and not him, himself. His brain is broken. That probably doesn't make what he is saying less hurtful, but he wouldn't be saying it if he wasn't sick.
Please don't try to do it all yourself. It's a very difficult disease to manage. I agree with everything Laurellel said!
That is the challenge. Sometimes I have to turn the TV off to get her attention. She has held them in her hand several minutes before taking them. She hates taking meds and any long term treatments.
I have even ground them up to a fine powder and mixed them into her ice cream. That worked. But only with ice cream. Pill crushers did not work. The pills are lumpy and she would find the lumps and spit them out. While in rehab we finally just tole her they were her vitamins and then she would take them easily.
Now I have to hover over her and keep pushing them toward her mouth.
The silly girl will hold them in her mouth until they dissolve and make those awful faces before taking the liquid to wash them down.
Pulverizing them and mixed with a favorite snack is the easiest method I found. I used a morter and pedistal to crush them because of the lums she would find and spit out.