Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
This church is in Trinidad but he insists that it is located here in America. I’m with him because I couldn’t talk him out of leaving and couldn’t let him drive away by himself. I don’t know what else to do.
Also, there are hinge locks you can put on your doors so that he can’t get out. You need to do something to keep him from leaving the house in any kind of way. I don’t care if it’s a walk. He doesn’t leave the house unless you have caregiver help to talk a walk with him etc.
This is the time you won’t be able to talk him out of bad choices, his brain is sadly broken. This is the time you’ll have to stand up for the right decisions even when he won’t like it. If you’re not safe doing so, call 911 and have him transported to the hospital, telling the operator you fear for your safety. The car has to be off limits, never to be used by him again, whether it’s disabled or has to leave the home entirely
Well you could have called the police to come and stop him, or you could have taken the keys away, or you could have disconnected the battery, or better yet, you could have offered to drive him yourself. You're going to have to get a lot tougher with your husband or it will be you or some innocent child/adult that gets killed because your husband didn't see them or got confused while behind the wheel. Would you be able to live with yourself if that were to happen? I know that I sure couldn't. Someone driving with dementia is like someone driving drunk or high on drugs. It's not something to mess around with. And I don't care how upset your husband will get when he can't drive anymore, you have to do what is right and best for all involved. Nothing raises my blood pressure quicker than hearing about someone letting their loved one continue driving when they know darn well that they shouldn't be. So toughen up girlfriend, put your big girl panties on and take the damn keys away!!!
It is time now to consider placement. Your husband is out of control. He represents a danger now to himself, to you, and WORSE to innocent drivers in the streets.
It is first for you to go to a good elder law attorney for division of assets so that your own funds are separated as well as you can, preserving them for your own future care. Then hubby needs to be put in care.
If he is not diagnosed that is step one. Call the MD tomorrow. Arrange for a Neuro-psyc consult, and arrange to put yourself in charge of your husband whether as POA or guardian or next of kin.
I am so sorry. This is no longer safe. If you have to call APS then do so. They will explain to husband that they are taking the keys to the car until things can be settled here. They can help you with other guidance as well.
Thanks for the responses. No I’m not clueless just having a hard time taking that final step. He has an appointment with a neurologist but it isn’t until January. It seems like he has taken a turn for the worst just the last few days. Anyway thanks again for the responses.
"It seems like he has taken a turn for the worst just the last few days."
If you are saying his behavior has suddenly become markedly worse, please consider he might have a UTI, which can definitely amplify dementia symptoms, causing more confusion and agitation, etc.
Your profile says your are an RN. Please take him to Urgent Care or the ER to get him checked for a UTI.
Also, does he have a PoA assigned? One of his adult children? Or you? Because if he doesn't, once he gets an official medical diagnosis he may not be able to assign a PoA anymore.
And, he doesn't need to go to a neurologist to get a diagnosis of cognitive/memory impairment... you can start with his primary doc who you may be able to see sooner than January 2025. From there if the doc suspects the symptoms may be due to something else, there will be testing. If there is a reason to suspect something going on in his brain (tumor, etc) then this is where the neurologist comes into play -- or to pinpoint what type of dementia your husband has, if this is something that matters.
I wish you all the best as you navigate the situation.
Thanks. He was diagnosed at Mayo but refuses to accept it and claims the Mayo doctors are frauds. He also refuses to get a POA or Living Will. No s/s of a UTI other than the increased delusions. I will talk to his primary about this possibility though. Thanks
Learn to say no. Take the keys. Any number of very common sense actions are available to you. Just choose one and stop helping him be a danger to everyone on the road.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Un attach a battery cable on the car.
You cannot let him drive. Do something.
Take his keys when you get home and hide them.
You're going to have to get a lot tougher with your husband or it will be you or some innocent child/adult that gets killed because your husband didn't see them or got confused while behind the wheel.
Would you be able to live with yourself if that were to happen? I know that I sure couldn't.
Someone driving with dementia is like someone driving drunk or high on drugs. It's not something to mess around with. And I don't care how upset your husband will get when he can't drive anymore, you have to do what is right and best for all involved.
Nothing raises my blood pressure quicker than hearing about someone letting their loved one continue driving when they know darn well that they shouldn't be.
So toughen up girlfriend, put your big girl panties on and take the damn keys away!!!
Your husband is out of control. He represents a danger now to himself, to you, and WORSE to innocent drivers in the streets.
It is first for you to go to a good elder law attorney for division of assets so that your own funds are separated as well as you can, preserving them for your own future care.
Then hubby needs to be put in care.
If he is not diagnosed that is step one. Call the MD tomorrow. Arrange for a Neuro-psyc consult, and arrange to put yourself in charge of your husband whether as POA or guardian or next of kin.
I am so sorry.
This is no longer safe.
If you have to call APS then do so. They will explain to husband that they are taking the keys to the car until things can be settled here. They can help you with other guidance as well.
If you are saying his behavior has suddenly become markedly worse, please consider he might have a UTI, which can definitely amplify dementia symptoms, causing more confusion and agitation, etc.
Your profile says your are an RN. Please take him to Urgent Care or the ER to get him checked for a UTI.
Also, does he have a PoA assigned? One of his adult children? Or you? Because if he doesn't, once he gets an official medical diagnosis he may not be able to assign a PoA anymore.
And, he doesn't need to go to a neurologist to get a diagnosis of cognitive/memory impairment... you can start with his primary doc who you may be able to see sooner than January 2025. From there if the doc suspects the symptoms may be due to something else, there will be testing. If there is a reason to suspect something going on in his brain (tumor, etc) then this is where the neurologist comes into play -- or to pinpoint what type of dementia your husband has, if this is something that matters.
I wish you all the best as you navigate the situation.
Get a urine sample and labs to check for UTI.