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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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She will walk back into the room and then say that she has to go back to the bathroom. I go through rolls of toilet paper in a single day. Her pockets will be full of unused toilet paper torn into sheets and folded. It's getting very expensive.
My LO use to do that, her doctors told me that medications sometimes help did not in my LO case.
When it comes to dementia I have been told often times only thing you can do is live with the behavior or place them. You will rarely get them to change their behavior.
While you can’t talk her out of it, she will stop it after awhile on her own as she progresses in her dementia. My aunt did. The walking back and forth is good for her. It is an activity she is compelled to do and at least she isn’t flushing it and causing plumbing fees. I finally had to buy aunt a commode that advertised it would flush golf balls. Try to put the best spin possible on it for your own mental health and know that it will pass.
She might be willing to fold wash cloths or napkins or hand towels or match socks to get some of the desire to fold out of her system. See if that cuts down trips to the bathroom. My aunt liked to snap green beans, shell peas, clean dried beans. Lots of things to try. She did a less and less acceptable job as time went by but the object was to keep her busy with an activity she enjoyed. Signing cards is another one I just remembered. Some days she signed her maiden name.
Can you put out less TP?? So she only has access to a smaller amount on every trip? You should feel lucky that it's UNUSED TP. LOL.
Your profile says you can't afford to place her. It's not about what you can afford because this is not your bill to pay unless you are filthy rich. It's about what she can afford. And if she can't afford it, she can go on medicaid and they will use her social security check and whatever other money she has left for her care. So if you are burnt out and ready for a change, find a place that accepts medicaid and get that ball rolling.
Well if she is like my Dad was at least she won;t break a hip if she falls.. he was well padded! And mom's bathrobes were a washer and dryer hazard! I agree you are lucky they are clean,, just try to recycle them if you can. If they are folded put them by the toilet to "use" next time.. Then take the roll away until they are used.
Escort mom to the bathroom and then lock the door after she's finished using it. Remove the roll of toilet paper after she's done her business. Give mom a laundry basket full of wash cloths and ask her to please fold them for YOU; that you need her HELP.
Apply for Medicaid on behalf of your mother and see about getting her placed in a Skilled Nursing Facility since you say 'you can't afford to place her'. Long term care IS available via Medicaid for seniors who qualify. Dementia often reaches a point where in-home care gets too difficult to manage, especially if you are getting burned out, as you said in your profile.
I suggest you read this 33 page booklet (which is a free download) which has THE best information ever about managing dementia and what to expect with an elder who's been diagnosed with it.
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
This is a repetitive behavior that is akin to OCD. Please have her evaluated and treated by a geriatric psychiatrist. Also, move the toilet paper out of the bathroom. Only let her take in "enough" to get the job done. Might want to consider that one bathroom is "hers" so others don't have the surprise of not finding toilet paper.
My live-in brother uses toilet paper like its going out of style. His trash is usually full every 2 days. When i empty his trash i notice he has folded it a number of times so most of it is not being used. He is schizophrenic and bi-polar. He takes rolls of toilet paper into his bedroom for various reasons unknown to me. I have now decided to put only one roll at a time in the bathroom. But he still screams at me that he needs another roll within a couple of days. Should i give it to him?
Expensive? buy cheaper toilet paper. My mother uses only one square of tissue each time she is on the toilet, to the point that I reel it off in handfuls to help her clean herself. But when it comes facial tissue she will use it and stuff in her clothing for use again, maybe its a hoarding issue. My Mother is almost 95 and if she wants to put where the sun does not shine, so be it.....I am grateful that she is still with us...
For my late father in law, it was tissues...then napkins...then paper towels. By then his wife finally gave up. No interventions really changed it, and he couldn't really explain it..he did try, I think. My mother uses loads of TP...and forgets to flush. A whole other problem arises. Bathroom issues often become obsessive. This one seems fairly mild, though any of these behaviors can get under your skin over time. Cheaper TP, and maybe gathering all the unused pieces and putting into a basket so they can create handfuls of TP when needed seem like good ideas.
My mother does this with face tissues and TP. She puts the lightly used ones back in the tissue box. Also with bits of unused toilet tissue and paper towel. When I am there, I use as many as I can to clean the sinks and counter tops, mirror, and wipe down whatever surfaces need wiping - furniture, shelves whatever. I usually use them up in a few days. I check pockets before washing and Most of the time I catch them. I don't live with them full time.
The internet is chockfull of references of similar behavior.
My husband folds then hides the folded tissues, paper towels, and napkins. He's starting in on an old bible that is losing its pages.
I find them folded mostly and sometimes wet and balled up in a variety of sizes. Some are smaller than a pea and others go up to golf ball sizes. I dread to think how he's moistening them.
He can spend a lot of time folding and refolding laundry (great, I say) but I have to check his hands first because he also tears at his cuticles and skin on his fingers. As a result he leaves bloody marks at times on freshly cleaned laundry. Thank goodness for peroxide.
What's worse is that this behavior seems to be happening at the same time that he's become too frugal with using toilet paper on his butt. Ah, me.
Today I’m going to try something new for both of us. I’m preparing a large shoe box, his designated fun box, plus a couple of plastic bags of things to change off.
My plan is to fill his fun box with small colorful fabrics. Maybe some of those different colored microfiber dusting cloths, or old wash cloths. Maybe a couple of small different colored children's socks, (Goodwill, Salvation Army purchases). I have to keep in mind that they too may disappear.
Another day (another week, another box?). Maybe I’ll put in nuts and bolts, velcro, different colored nylon tie wraps.
Maybe I’ll mess up his tool box come to think of it, or a draw, or even my sewing box for him to put in order.
I thought my mom was the only one in the world that did this, so glad to know we aren't the only ones to deal with this. My mom will walk out of one bathroom and walk down the hall to our other bathroom. She also hoards toliet paper and I am constantly vacuuming up pieces of paper on the floor, that follows her every where she walks. I just have to remind myself that it could and probably will get worse. Least I am not dealing with diapers and her wetting everywhere. My uncle ,her brother would just pee on the walls and carpet before he passed. Wish I had the answers, hang in there.
My 90 year old mom would do the same . Always , she would shred it up , while she would go in the bathroom @ 2 am, 2:10 am, 2:30 am -sometimes until 5 am. She suffered from sundowners. ( she’s peacefully resting now as she recently passed away 2/4/2022) It was bad during the start of the pandemic too , when getting toilet paper was tough & expensive. My husband just started leaving partial rolls in the bathroom for her . We removed the extra rolls from under the sink & locked them up in our pantry. Just do the best you can. As frustrating as it seems. 🍀🤗🐞
Take the toilet paper holder down and get a large woven basket to put beside the toilet. At the end of the day, empty her pockets and fill the basket. It's a win-win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have you ever had a cat shred an entire roll of toilet paper for play, and you thought it was cute? Or, you forgave the cat?
As long as I am not clogging the toilet, I plan on using as much t.p. as I want or need, my whole life long. This is not something I will be trying to ration or save money on, now or in the future.
I suggest that family try to save on cigarettes, alcohol, electricity, water, and vacations, rather than on my own money being spent on my own t.p.
OMG! I had a cat that shredded the toilet paper while it was still packaged. That little demon would get me every time I went to the store. If I didn't put the toilet paper up, I would start hearing that old familiar sound. Nothing was more annoying than trying to wipe with toilet paper with convenient holes in it. UUUgggghhh!
Remember when the pandemic started and people were hoarding t.p. Funny how it's a priority but then............imagine life without it. Oh, the horror.
Maybe start hiding the toilet roll somewhere in the bathroom that only you and the family know where it is and just leave enough out for your mum tell her you don’t have enough left if she doesn’t stop taking it and maybe she will stop
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
When it comes to dementia I have been told often times only thing you can do is live with the behavior or place them. You will rarely get them to change their behavior.
Try to put the best spin possible on it for your own mental health and know that it will pass.
She might be willing to fold wash cloths or napkins or hand towels or match socks to get some of the desire to fold out of her system. See if that cuts down trips to the bathroom. My aunt liked to snap green beans, shell peas, clean dried beans. Lots of things to try. She did a less and less acceptable job as time went by but the object was to keep her busy with an activity she enjoyed.
Signing cards is another one I just remembered. Some days she signed her maiden name.
Your profile says you can't afford to place her. It's not about what you can afford because this is not your bill to pay unless you are filthy rich. It's about what she can afford. And if she can't afford it, she can go on medicaid and they will use her social security check and whatever other money she has left for her care. So if you are burnt out and ready for a change, find a place that accepts medicaid and get that ball rolling.
Good luck
Take the t.p. tissues from her pockets and place in the basket, on a regular basis.
Remove the roll of toilet paper after she's done her business.
Give mom a laundry basket full of wash cloths and ask her to please fold them for YOU; that you need her HELP.
Apply for Medicaid on behalf of your mother and see about getting her placed in a Skilled Nursing Facility since you say 'you can't afford to place her'. Long term care IS available via Medicaid for seniors who qualify. Dementia often reaches a point where in-home care gets too difficult to manage, especially if you are getting burned out, as you said in your profile.
I suggest you read this 33 page booklet (which is a free download) which has THE best information ever about managing dementia and what to expect with an elder who's been diagnosed with it.
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Best of luck!
My mother uses loads of TP...and forgets to flush. A whole other problem arises.
Bathroom issues often become obsessive. This one seems fairly mild, though any of these behaviors can get under your skin over time.
Cheaper TP, and maybe gathering all the unused pieces and putting into a basket so they can create handfuls of TP when needed seem like good ideas.
My husband folds then hides the folded tissues, paper towels, and napkins. He's starting in on an old bible that is losing its pages.
I find them folded mostly and sometimes wet and balled up in a variety of sizes. Some are smaller than a pea and others go up to golf ball sizes. I dread to think how he's moistening them.
He can spend a lot of time folding and refolding laundry (great, I say) but I have to check his hands first because he also tears at his cuticles and skin on his fingers. As a result he leaves bloody marks at times on freshly cleaned laundry. Thank goodness for peroxide.
What's worse is that this behavior seems to be happening at the same time that he's become too frugal with using toilet paper on his butt. Ah, me.
Today I’m going to try something new for both of us. I’m preparing a large shoe box, his designated fun box, plus a couple of plastic bags of things to change off.
My plan is to fill his fun box with small colorful fabrics. Maybe some of those different colored microfiber dusting cloths, or old wash cloths. Maybe a couple of small different colored children's socks, (Goodwill, Salvation Army purchases).
I have to keep in mind that they too may disappear.
Another day (another week, another box?). Maybe I’ll put in nuts and bolts, velcro, different colored nylon tie wraps.
Maybe I’ll mess up his tool box come to think of it, or a draw, or even my sewing box for him to put in order.
Wish me luck.
It was bad during the start of the pandemic too , when getting toilet paper was tough & expensive.
My husband just started leaving partial rolls in the bathroom for her .
We removed the extra rolls from under the sink & locked them up in our pantry.
Just do the best you can. As frustrating as it seems.
🍀🤗🐞
As long as I am not clogging the toilet, I plan on using as much t.p. as I want or need, my whole life long. This is not something I will be trying to ration or save money on, now or in the future.
I suggest that family try to save on cigarettes, alcohol, electricity, water, and vacations, rather than on my own money being spent on my own t.p.
It is a personal choice.